Annoyance

[roverthtaeh]

Hello, is that Sky?
Yes, I'll hold.
dum de dum de dum...
...de dum de do da da..
Oh, hello.
My name? Ok, it's Fred Smith.
Address? Ok, blah de blah.
Account number? 099088077
Mother's maiden name in Arabic? Yes, it's \/^*{} [] #
Password? Er... hang on....is it... cucumbers?
No thanks, I don't want additional channels. Or the adult package.
How can you help me? Well, I can't receive any pictures on the Sports channel.
Yes, I switched it off, unplugged it, counted to 143,000, removed the card, sprayed de-static solution over my entire house and did 17 cartwheels across the floor.
No, I still have no picture.
No, I don't have any snow on my dish.... it's August.
What's that? You need to get a supervisor? Ok, I'll hold....
dum de dum de do.....
....diddly dum di do....
Hello? The supervisor is on a 9 month holiday in Costa Rica?
Oh, ok. But you promise me he'll ring me back next year?
Ok, thanks for your help.
Sorry?
No, really, I don't want multi-room, 500 yard remore control, Sky + or a jam doughnut, thank you very much.
No, you can't help me with anything else.
Have a good day yourself, too.
Click.

[bolt pp]

Hello, is that Sky?
Yes, I'll hold.
dum de dum de dum...
...de dum de do da da..
Oh, hello.
My name? Ok, it's Fred Smith.
Address? Ok, blah de blah.
Account number? 099088077
Mother's maiden name in Arabic? Yes, it's \/^*{} [] #
Password? Er... hang on....is it... cucumbers?
No thanks, I don't want additional channels. Or the adult package.
How can you help me? Well, I can't receive any pictures on the Sports channel.
Yes, I switched it off, unplugged it, counted to 143,000, removed the card, sprayed de-static solution over my entire house and did 17 cartwheels across the floor.
No, I still have no picture.
No, I don't have any snow on my dish.... it's August.
What's that? You need to get a supervisor? Ok, I'll hold....
dum de dum de do.....
....diddly dum di do....
Hello? The supervisor is on a 9 month holiday in Costa Rica?
Oh, ok. But you promise me he'll ring me back next year?
Ok, thanks for your help.
Sorry?
No, really, I don't want multi-room, 500 yard remore control, Sky + or a jam doughnut, thank you very much.
No, you can't help me with anything else.
Have a good day yourself, too.
Click.

How can you not want the Adult Channel?

[roverthtaeh]

Hello, is that Sky?
Yes, I'll hold.
dum de dum de dum...
...de dum de do da da..
Oh, hello.
My name? Ok, it's Fred Smith.
Address? Ok, blah de blah.
Account number? 099088077
Mother's maiden name in Arabic? Yes, it's \/^*{} [] #
Password? Er... hang on....is it... cucumbers?
No thanks, I don't want additional channels. Or the adult package.
How can you help me? Well, I can't receive any pictures on the Sports channel.
Yes, I switched it off, unplugged it, counted to 143,000, removed the card, sprayed de-static solution over my entire house and did 17 cartwheels across the floor.
No, I still have no picture.
No, I don't have any snow on my dish.... it's August.
What's that? You need to get a supervisor? Ok, I'll hold....
dum de dum de do.....
....diddly dum di do....
Hello? The supervisor is on a 9 month holiday in Costa Rica?
Oh, ok. But you promise me he'll ring me back next year?
Ok, thanks for your help.
Sorry?
No, really, I don't want multi-room, 500 yard remore control, Sky + or a jam doughnut, thank you very much.
No, you can't help me with anything else.
Have a good day yourself, too.
Click.

How can you not want the Adult Channel?

Because I see enough of my wife as it is.

[BrumBilly]

I'd honestly prefer to have someone tell me they don't know how to help rather than have them assume the fault must be my end and start off on the defensive. The greatest problem I've found in dealing with so called customer service is that the person on the end of the phone or in the shop doesn't have the ability to piece together information and come up with a viable plan of action. Most of them just aren't cut out for the job and have no idea how to communicate with people who, in many cases, will be frustrated from being passed from pillar to post. Giving good customer service is a skill so these people should be very able. Either I'm very unlucky in who I get or these jobs are full of muppets. It just seems to be a huge lottery.

[bolt pp]

Hello, is that Sky?
Yes, I'll hold.
dum de dum de dum...
...de dum de do da da..
Oh, hello.
My name? Ok, it's Fred Smith.
Address? Ok, blah de blah.
Account number? 099088077
Mother's maiden name in Arabic? Yes, it's \/^*{} [] #
Password? Er... hang on....is it... cucumbers?
No thanks, I don't want additional channels. Or the adult package.
How can you help me? Well, I can't receive any pictures on the Sports channel.
Yes, I switched it off, unplugged it, counted to 143,000, removed the card, sprayed de-static solution over my entire house and did 17 cartwheels across the floor.
No, I still have no picture.
No, I don't have any snow on my dish.... it's August.
What's that? You need to get a supervisor? Ok, I'll hold....
dum de dum de do.....
....diddly dum di do....
Hello? The supervisor is on a 9 month holiday in Costa Rica?
Oh, ok. But you promise me he'll ring me back next year?
Ok, thanks for your help.
Sorry?
No, really, I don't want multi-room, 500 yard remore control, Sky + or a jam doughnut, thank you very much.
No, you can't help me with anything else.
Have a good day yourself, too.
Click.

How can you not want the Adult Channel?

Because I see enough of my wife as it is.

LOL

(Is she the Blonde one that has an amazing ability for grape propulsion or the brunette bulding enthusiast that seems consistantly distacted with filling up her box with tools)?

[roverthtaeh]

Hello, is that Sky?
Yes, I'll hold.
dum de dum de dum...
...de dum de do da da..
Oh, hello.
My name? Ok, it's Fred Smith.
Address? Ok, blah de blah.
Account number? 099088077
Mother's maiden name in Arabic? Yes, it's \/^*{} [] #
Password? Er... hang on....is it... cucumbers?
No thanks, I don't want additional channels. Or the adult package.
How can you help me? Well, I can't receive any pictures on the Sports channel.
Yes, I switched it off, unplugged it, counted to 143,000, removed the card, sprayed de-static solution over my entire house and did 17 cartwheels across the floor.
No, I still have no picture.
No, I don't have any snow on my dish.... it's August.
What's that? You need to get a supervisor? Ok, I'll hold....
dum de dum de do.....
....diddly dum di do....
Hello? The supervisor is on a 9 month holiday in Costa Rica?
Oh, ok. But you promise me he'll ring me back next year?
Ok, thanks for your help.
Sorry?
No, really, I don't want multi-room, 500 yard remore control, Sky + or a jam doughnut, thank you very much.
No, you can't help me with anything else.
Have a good day yourself, too.
Click.

How can you not want the Adult Channel?

Because I see enough of my wife as it is.

LOL

(Is she the Blonde one that has an amazing ability for grape propulsion or the brunette bulding enthusiast that seems consistantly distacted with filling up her box with tools)?

Neither, she's the redheaded, tattooed contortionist with the hydraulic leg, multiple nose piercings, periodically swollen ankles, and that rare ability to speak coherently with her mouth full.

[MrsLime]

I made another call to Sky and after being on hold for another 18 minutes was put through too probably the most unhelpful person their. After 15 minutes of her telling me I am wrong and sky is right and their is nothing I can do about it(her words not mine), my call was terminated for bad language. I am very sorry for swearing but I cannot help it. They made a mistake yet will not admit it, and I pay the penalty. I won't be paying them a penny more and vow never to have sky again!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (well maybe never again lolol)

Perhaps you could write them a letter instead of calling them, as you don't seem to be able to deal with the frustrations of telephone conversations too well.  And why take it out on the employee?  It is not personally their fault that something has gone wrong.  What is the reason they give for you owing £250? 

i have written to them telling them they have 28 days to pay up, or I will put the matter in the hands of a debt collection agency, which may affect their ability to get credit in the future....

Funny, but of course you should actually state that you will be taking them to the small claims court.  Mentioning your intention is a recommended prerequisite for actually doing so.

Aren't employees not employed to resolve these kind of issues? What happened to the customer always being right?
The trouble with such employees is they have no initative, and in some cases, no common sense. They just read from a rule book and are incapable of taking each individual case on its own merit.

Well, we don't know anything about the specifics of this case, so it's quite hard to speculate what exactly has gone wrong.  Perhaps, as boldie suggested, various T&C have been broken by smithy69.  Or maybe Sky have completely ballsed it all up.  I don't know.  But it is always going to be hard to resolve things when one party is swearing like a sailor and suggesting that various electrical items be inserted up various orifices.

Don't get me wrong -- I'm not sticking up for these guys.  I have had many a frustrating and fruitless conversation with various customer service representatives (aka 'gimps').  If you think Sky are bad, try arranging for a British Gas engineer to come round and service your boiler!

But the fact that someone may be an annoying shit-for-brains neanderthal who doesn't know his head from his arse doesn't give you the right to verbally abuse them.

[bolt pp]

Hello, is that Sky?
Yes, I'll hold.
dum de dum de dum...
...de dum de do da da..
Oh, hello.
My name? Ok, it's Fred Smith.
Address? Ok, blah de blah.
Account number? 099088077
Mother's maiden name in Arabic? Yes, it's \/^*{} [] #
Password? Er... hang on....is it... cucumbers?
No thanks, I don't want additional channels. Or the adult package.
How can you help me? Well, I can't receive any pictures on the Sports channel.
Yes, I switched it off, unplugged it, counted to 143,000, removed the card, sprayed de-static solution over my entire house and did 17 cartwheels across the floor.
No, I still have no picture.
No, I don't have any snow on my dish.... it's August.
What's that? You need to get a supervisor? Ok, I'll hold....
dum de dum de do.....
....diddly dum di do....
Hello? The supervisor is on a 9 month holiday in Costa Rica?
Oh, ok. But you promise me he'll ring me back next year?
Ok, thanks for your help.
Sorry?
No, really, I don't want multi-room, 500 yard remore control, Sky + or a jam doughnut, thank you very much.
No, you can't help me with anything else.
Have a good day yourself, too.
Click.

How can you not want the Adult Channel?

Because I see enough of my wife as it is.

LOL

(Is she the Blonde one that has an amazing ability for grape propulsion or the brunette bulding enthusiast that seems consistantly distacted with filling up her box with tools)?

Neither, she's the redheaded, tattooed contortionist with the hydraulic leg, multiple nose piercings, periodically swollen ankles, and that rare ability to speak coherently with her mouth full.

can you get me an autograuph? I love that girl!!

My bird once woke up at 4am whilst i was covering her hair in tomato sauce and trying to stick a fork through her nose in a desperate attempt to get her to look more like my ideal woman

[roverthtaeh]

Hello, is that Sky?
Yes, I'll hold.
dum de dum de dum...
...de dum de do da da..
Oh, hello.
My name? Ok, it's Fred Smith.
Address? Ok, blah de blah.
Account number? 099088077
Mother's maiden name in Arabic? Yes, it's \/^*{} [] #
Password? Er... hang on....is it... cucumbers?
No thanks, I don't want additional channels. Or the adult package.
How can you help me? Well, I can't receive any pictures on the Sports channel.
Yes, I switched it off, unplugged it, counted to 143,000, removed the card, sprayed de-static solution over my entire house and did 17 cartwheels across the floor.
No, I still have no picture.
No, I don't have any snow on my dish.... it's August.
What's that? You need to get a supervisor? Ok, I'll hold....
dum de dum de do.....
....diddly dum di do....
Hello? The supervisor is on a 9 month holiday in Costa Rica?
Oh, ok. But you promise me he'll ring me back next year?
Ok, thanks for your help.
Sorry?
No, really, I don't want multi-room, 500 yard remore control, Sky + or a jam doughnut, thank you very much.
No, you can't help me with anything else.
Have a good day yourself, too.
Click.

How can you not want the Adult Channel?

Because I see enough of my wife as it is.

LOL

(Is she the Blonde one that has an amazing ability for grape propulsion or the brunette bulding enthusiast that seems consistantly distacted with filling up her box with tools)?

Neither, she's the redheaded, tattooed contortionist with the hydraulic leg, multiple nose piercings, periodically swollen ankles, and that rare ability to speak coherently with her mouth full.

can you get me an autograuph? I love that girl!!

My bird once woke up at 4am whilst i was covering her hair in tomato sauce and trying to stick a fork through her nose in a desperate attempt to get her to look more like my ideal woman

An autograph is no problem.
Hang on....
"Karma? KARMA! Put that chainsaw down and come and sign this inflatable please."

[bolt pp]

it is always going to be hard to resolve things when one party is swearing like a sailor and suggesting that various electrical items be inserted up various orifices.

But the fact that someone may be an annoying shit-for-brains neanderthal who doesn't know his head from his arse doesn't give you the right to verbally abuse them.
[/quote]

Thats where i'm coming from

[bolt pp]

Hello, is that Sky?
Yes, I'll hold.
dum de dum de dum...
...de dum de do da da..
Oh, hello.
My name? Ok, it's Fred Smith.
Address? Ok, blah de blah.
Account number? 099088077
Mother's maiden name in Arabic? Yes, it's \/^*{} [] #
Password? Er... hang on....is it... cucumbers?
No thanks, I don't want additional channels. Or the adult package.
How can you help me? Well, I can't receive any pictures on the Sports channel.
Yes, I switched it off, unplugged it, counted to 143,000, removed the card, sprayed de-static solution over my entire house and did 17 cartwheels across the floor.
No, I still have no picture.
No, I don't have any snow on my dish.... it's August.
What's that? You need to get a supervisor? Ok, I'll hold....
dum de dum de do.....
....diddly dum di do....
Hello? The supervisor is on a 9 month holiday in Costa Rica?
Oh, ok. But you promise me he'll ring me back next year?
Ok, thanks for your help.
Sorry?
No, really, I don't want multi-room, 500 yard remore control, Sky + or a jam doughnut, thank you very much.
No, you can't help me with anything else.
Have a good day yourself, too.
Click.

How can you not want the Adult Channel?

Because I see enough of my wife as it is.

LOL

(Is she the Blonde one that has an amazing ability for grape propulsion or the brunette bulding enthusiast that seems consistantly distacted with filling up her box with tools)?

Neither, she's the redheaded, tattooed contortionist with the hydraulic leg, multiple nose piercings, periodically swollen ankles, and that rare ability to speak coherently with her mouth full.

can you get me an autograuph? I love that girl!!

My bird once woke up at 4am whilst i was covering her hair in tomato sauce and trying to stick a fork through her nose in a desperate attempt to get her to look more like my ideal woman

An autograph is no problem.
Hang on....
"Karma? KARMA! Put that chainsaw down and come and sign this inflatable please."

sounds like you're having all the fun

[roverthtaeh]

it is always going to be hard to resolve things when one party is swearing like a sailor and suggesting that various electrical items be inserted up various orifices.

But the fact that someone may be an annoying shit-for-brains neanderthal who doesn't know his head from his arse doesn't give you the right to verbally abuse them.

Thats where i'm coming from
[/quote]

I can think of 21 electrical items but only 3 orifices.
I make that about 63 different possibilities.
(I didn't include curling tongues, by the way)

[bolt pp]

it is always going to be hard to resolve things when one party is swearing like a sailor and suggesting that various electrical items be inserted up various orifices.

But the fact that someone may be an annoying shit-for-brains neanderthal who doesn't know his head from his arse doesn't give you the right to verbally abuse them.

Thats where i'm coming from

I can think of 21 electrical items but only 3 orifices.
I make that about 63 different possibilities.
(I didn't include curling tongues, by the way)
[/quote]

and electric toothbrush. did you think of an electic toothbrush?

the first thing i'd of thought of is an electric toothbrush, WHY DIDNT YOU THINK OF AN ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH?

[MrsLime]

I can think of 21 electrical items but only 3 orifices.
I make that about 63 different possibilities.

Ah, but that is assuming only one electrical item per person.  If you are allowed to insert one item per orifice, then you have 7980 possibilities.

For the mathematically-inclined, http://**************** may be of interest.

[bolt pp]

I can think of 21 electrical items but only 3 orifices.
I make that about 63 different possibilities.

Ah, but that is assuming only one electrical item per person.  If you are allowed to insert one item per orifice, then you have 7980 possibilities.

For the mathematically-inclined, http://**************** may be of interest.

what happend to the link?