Guiness World Records

Some silly ones in The Sun today:

A barmy office worker called Edd China hit 87mph, zipping along in his ingenius driveable 'office' this week. Complete with a nifty keyboard/steering wheel, and a water cooler for thirsty visitors, he did it all in the name of Guinness World Records.

But it wasn't Edd's first weird record. In 1998 he hit 87mph in a moving sofa, making it the fastest piece of furniture ever.

When it comes to Guinness World Records, we don't care about tall buildings and superhuman athletes. We want to hear about the loons who cover their faces in pegs, the running jugglers, and of course, the hapless geriatrics.

So, in the true spirit of wacky Guinness World Records, we scoured this year's list for the zaniest and most pointless of the lot ...

OLDEST BANK ROBBER

In 2004, 92-year-old JL Hunter Rountree pilfered £1,243 from a bank in Texas. He was sentenced to 151 months in prison, but insisted that he didn't mind, because the food inside was better than the tasteless slop at most nursing homes.

Sudsie ... pigs might fly

FASTEST TEXT MESSAGE

Kimberly Yeo Sue Fern from Singapore is the current World Record texter. She typed a 160-character text in just 43.2 seconds. Those are some lightening fingers.

MOST TENNIS BALLS IN MOUTH

Augie, a talented dog from America, can proudly fit five regulation-sized tennis balls in his mouth. He proved it on July 6th 2003.

LARGEST SOAP SCULPTURE

Using the equivalent of 26,666 bars of soap, artist Bev Kirk from Ohio, USA sculpted a pig with wings in September 2003. The massive flying pig, entitled Sudsie, A Boar of Soap weighs a colossal 7,000 lbs.

MOST CREDIT CARDS

Walter Cavanagh from America has a stonking 1,497 credit cards, with a combined limit of £912,213.

MOST SPROUTS EATEN

In one minute, Brit Dave Mynard managed to wolf down an unthinkable 43 Brussels Sprouts. Euch!

LONGEST KISS

Elaine Davidson ... taking the pierce

American sweethearts Louisa Almedovar and Rich Langley kissed without stopping for 30 hours 59 minutes and 27 seconds in the Ricki Lake studios in 2001. They courageously remained standing throughout the 'ordeal'.

MOST PIERCED WOMAN

In 1997 Elaine Davidson enjoyed her first piercing so much that she has since had a further 2,519. On the last count she had 192 piercings on her face, and loads more on her hands, breasts, stomach, and other places.

MOST EXPENSIVE OMELETTE

For a ridiculous £528.90 you could get a tasty brunch at Norma's restaurant in New York. That would bag you a Zillion Dollar Lobster Frittata, which comes complete with a whole lobster, some swanky eggs, and, of course, a spoonful of slimy caviar.

OLDEST MALE STRIPPER

Dubbed 'Silver Tom Selleck', 66-year-old Bernie Barker is the oldest stripper in town. Word has it that he regularly performs in Vegas, which is a far cry from his previous job ... as an estate agent.
t and most pointless of the lot ...