How do you leave a poker table after buffoonery of a high order ?

I ask this question following my appearance in my 6th live tournament yesterday at Luton. Now I fancy myself quite a bit in terms of live play with 3 final table appearances from 6 tourneys.

I donked my chips off in spectacular fashion, at the time I couldn't leave the table fast enough being quite embarrassed when I flipped my cards over. It's hard to explain the kind of brain freeze that made me do what I did - however, since then I have laughed quite a lot about it to myself and I want to share it by way of self flagellation - all mockery welcomed, what doesn't kill me will strengthen me :-)

Anyway, to my tale - great structure last night, 7500 starting chips, half hour clock and starting level was 25/50.

I had made a bit of progress and then was back down to around 7700 after being pushed of a couple of small pairs after the flop.

Was very tired and have suffered with a background toothache for about a week so not 100% but OK. Was enjoying the environment and thought that the structure suited a rock with no moves like me.

To my left was young bloke who had taken a few pots with small preflop raises and continuation bets - he seemed to be getting a fair bit of respect, he'd also taken a reasonable pot early on with a FH using the 5 from the A5 in his hand.

Anyways, second level, was in the small blind, guy in the cut off raises it to 300. Strangely I have played with him before and he's solid - likely to be raising there with a reasonable pair, maybe as low as AJ, AQ. I look down at my AJ and am happy to call for 250 more in the SB and see what comes down.

Young, nice looking guy in the BB pumps it up to 950. I have only seen him show down one hand, if he showed down more I wasn't paying attention. This is the first time I could feel my brain cells starting to coagulate - freeze - slightly cease to function. I have called with a monster, how can he have the temerity to raise. I'm having none of it - re-raise to 3000.

It then got quite TV like, I have made him stop and think.. "got you, you at-it young 'un" - I was certain. He asked me how much I had left, at this stage I felt like Harrington as I casually counted out my remaining 4200 or so.. still sure that the casual way I counted them out, gave one chip a little shove would have him shaking as he should have - I have AJ after all !!!

Anyway, shows how useless he was - he pushed - I knew he had me covered and was looking forward to doubling up, slight feeling still that he was at-it - no wait a sec, at this stage I knew he was ahead by a fair distance but still, feeling out played, I couldn't help calling.

I mean, I was a bit tired - but suddenly some wierd bravado 'I am nirvana, I will outdraw you' welled up in me. Man, I had 4000 chips left and with blinds at 50/100 (50/100 for chrissakes) I could have so easily passed. Anyway, I called, he flips over his AK (thought it might be stronger in the end) takes the pot, and I left in something of a hurry.

I wish I had had hand some kind of witty remark to make about why I did what I did, I wish I had had some kind of Tuff Fish rant lined up about how I always find someone with a hand but instead I just shuffled - never quite left anywhere as swiftly whilst trying to retain some dignity...... and failing I think.

Only reason I have mentioned all this is I am pretty sure having done some googling that the young fella was JP Kelly - this is the bit that has had me laughing today - the thought that I tried to out play a player who is rather better than me - in some ways my biggest regret is that I didn't just push originally when he pumped it to 950. Anyway, not a beat story, just maybe slughtly amusing for folks and to record my tragic self aggrandising initial move for posterity.

If JP Kelly wasn't at the comp last night then sorry for putting him in that seat as my vanquisher

xxx