God Bless the Irish

[boldie]

From the country where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes a true story from Carrick-on-Suir Ireland.
Recently a routine Garda patrol parked outside a local neighbourhood tavern. Late in the evening the Garda noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.
The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the Garda quietly observing.
After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.
Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night), flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights.
He moved the vehicle forward a few cm, reversed a little and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left.
At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down the road.
The Garda, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a Breathalyzer test.
To his amazement the Breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the Garda said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the Police station. This Breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy".
True story...

[tikay]

Class!

[AndrewT]

It's a great tale, but anything which has to be bookended as a 'true story' never is.

http://www.snopes.com/autos/law/decoy.asp

It's interesting to read the other variations on a theme, though - the Jewish one is funny.

[marcro]

Paddy and Mick walking down a street in London . Paddy happens to look in one of the shop windows and sees a sign that catches his eye.

The sign said

"Suits £ 5.00 each, Shirts £ 2.00 each, Trousers £ 2.50 Per pair".

Paddy says to his pal, " Mick, Look! We could buy a whole lot of dose, And then we get back to Ireland , we could make a feckin' fortune. Now when we go into the shop,

you be quiet, okay? Just let me do all the talking cause if they hear our accent, they might not be nice to us. I'll speak in my best English accent.'

"Roight y'are, Paddy, oi'llkeep me mouth shut, so I will.' says Mick.

They go in and Paddy says, "I'll take 50 suits at £ 5.00 each, 100 shirts at £ 2.00 each, and 50 pairs of trousers at £ 2.50 each. I'll back up my truck and ....."

The owner of the shop interrupts, "You're from Ireland , aren't you?"

"Well...yes,"says a surprised Paddy .

"How der hell d' y' know dat?"

The owner says, .........................






"This is a dry cleaners."

 

[4KingNutz]

Paddy and Murphy walking down the street when all of a sudden Paddy falls down a man hole so Murphy shouts down "Paddy is it dark down there" Paddy replies "I dont know i carnt see"





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