blonde Agony column..........

[madasahatstand]

sick sick sick. you are all sick. id rusg the wee thing to fish casualty and demand they save my him/her. if the concern is about infecting the other fish then why not move it to another pond?  the isolation pond and some tender loving care should do the trick and if not its got to be palliatve care xx 

[tikay]

Flushing it down the loo - is like trying to re-enact a scene from Free Willy (although as he was a whale, he wouldn't fit down the pan) - very humane in principle, but possibly slightly flawed.

A book that was a bestseller in Japan for ages might help us on our quest here.  'The Complete Manual of Suicide' wasn't targeted at goldfish (as they'd forget what they'd read on the previous page), but is an interesting read and it attempts to highlight the pros and cons of different methods of suicide.

Maybe some of these could be transferred over to our scaly friend?  I haven't got my copy to hand, but I remember that leaping in front of a train was a highly successful way of achieving a quick death (although in Japan your family is then responsible for the clean up operation, and so if you're not happy with them and want to kill yourself it's like getting Bully's special prize).  So one way of getting rid of the fish would be to place the goldfish bowl in the path of an oncoming tube train.  He wouldn't know what hit him.  Logistically, it might be difficult to execute correctly - and I suppose it's important to get the bowl at the right height so it isn't deflected and the fish's death extended over a period of time due to it not being completely obliterated.

Anyway, have a look at the overview of the book on Wikipedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Complete_Manual_of_Suicide - quite interesting, if slightly strange.

I think explosion is the way forward.  Instant, with no suffering.  Although slightly messy.

So one way of getting rid of the fish would be to place the goldfish bowl in the path of an oncoming tube train.

The clearance beneath a London Underground Train would mean the goldfish bowl escaped unscathed, which is a good thing, as I'm with Mad on this.

Remember also - &, admittedly, this counts for human suicides more than goldfish suicides, which are quite rare I believe, as Goldfish are, on the whole, happy & content things, that it is extremely traumatic for the Train Driver when someone throws themself on the line. A little more consideration for others when doing the suicide thing is in order, remember the poor Train Driver.

Recently, the greatly improved Communications on London Underground has resulted in frequent announcements along these lines "...there are severe delays on the Hammersmith & City Line due to a customer under a train at Kings Cross".  Assuming he jumped or fell, & is not just having a look at the extremely interesting bogie arrangement on Tube Stock to satisfy his curiosity, it sends a shiver down my spine very time.

[KingPoker]

On the lighter side of suicide............

http://www.darwinawards.com/

[bolt pp]

Flushing it down the loo - is like trying to re-enact a scene from Free Willy (although as he was a whale, he wouldn't fit down the pan) - very humane in principle, but possibly slightly flawed.

A book that was a bestseller in Japan for ages might help us on our quest here.  'The Complete Manual of Suicide' wasn't targeted at goldfish (as they'd forget what they'd read on the previous page), but is an interesting read and it attempts to highlight the pros and cons of different methods of suicide.

Maybe some of these could be transferred over to our scaly friend?  I haven't got my copy to hand, but I remember that leaping in front of a train was a highly successful way of achieving a quick death (although in Japan your family is then responsible for the clean up operation, and so if you're not happy with them and want to kill yourself it's like getting Bully's special prize).  So one way of getting rid of the fish would be to place the goldfish bowl in the path of an oncoming tube train.  He wouldn't know what hit him.  Logistically, it might be difficult to execute correctly - and I suppose it's important to get the bowl at the right height so it isn't deflected and the fish's death extended over a period of time due to it not being completely obliterated.

Anyway, have a look at the overview of the book on Wikipedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Complete_Manual_of_Suicide - quite interesting, if slightly strange.

I think explosion is the way forward.  Instant, with no suffering.  Although slightly messy.

So one way of getting rid of the fish would be to place the goldfish bowl in the path of an oncoming tube train.

The clearance beneath a London Underground Train would mean the goldfish bowl escaped unscathed, which is a good thing, as I'm with Mad on this.

Remember also - &, admittedly, this counts for human suicides more than goldfish suicides, which are quite rare I believe, as Goldfish are, on the whole, happy & content things, that it is extremely traumatic for the Train Driver when someone throws themself on the line. A little more consideration for others when doing the suicide thing is in order, remember the poor Train Driver.

Recently, the greatly improved Communications on London Underground has resulted in frequent announcements along these lines "...there are severe delays on the Hammersmith & City Line due to a customer under a train at Kings Cross".  Assuming he jumped or fell, & is not just having a look at the extremely interesting bogie arrangement on Tube Stock to satisfy his curiosity, it sends a shiver down my spine very time.

come on kinboshi!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you even give him the slightest hint of a platform(literally)

[tikay]

Flushing it down the loo - is like trying to re-enact a scene from Free Willy (although as he was a whale, he wouldn't fit down the pan) - very humane in principle, but possibly slightly flawed.

A book that was a bestseller in Japan for ages might help us on our quest here.  'The Complete Manual of Suicide' wasn't targeted at goldfish (as they'd forget what they'd read on the previous page), but is an interesting read and it attempts to highlight the pros and cons of different methods of suicide.

Maybe some of these could be transferred over to our scaly friend?  I haven't got my copy to hand, but I remember that leaping in front of a train was a highly successful way of achieving a quick death (although in Japan your family is then responsible for the clean up operation, and so if you're not happy with them and want to kill yourself it's like getting Bully's special prize).  So one way of getting rid of the fish would be to place the goldfish bowl in the path of an oncoming tube train.  He wouldn't know what hit him.  Logistically, it might be difficult to execute correctly - and I suppose it's important to get the bowl at the right height so it isn't deflected and the fish's death extended over a period of time due to it not being completely obliterated.

Anyway, have a look at the overview of the book on Wikipedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Complete_Manual_of_Suicide - quite interesting, if slightly strange.

I think explosion is the way forward.  Instant, with no suffering.  Although slightly messy.

So one way of getting rid of the fish would be to place the goldfish bowl in the path of an oncoming tube train.

The clearance beneath a London Underground Train would mean the goldfish bowl escaped unscathed, which is a good thing, as I'm with Mad on this.

Remember also - &, admittedly, this counts for human suicides more than goldfish suicides, which are quite rare I believe, as Goldfish are, on the whole, happy & content things, that it is extremely traumatic for the Train Driver when someone throws themself on the line. A little more consideration for others when doing the suicide thing is in order, remember the poor Train Driver.

Recently, the greatly improved Communications on London Underground has resulted in frequent announcements along these lines "...there are severe delays on the Hammersmith & City Line due to a customer under a train at Kings Cross".  Assuming he jumped or fell, & is not just having a look at the extremely interesting bogie arrangement on Tube Stock to satisfy his curiosity, it sends a shiver down my spine very time.

come on kinboshi!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you even give him the slightest hint of a platform(literally)

He's just not as experienced or wise as you Bolt, you know the score, give me an opening, & I'll steam in.