Letter to Poker425

[ukbogroll]

Dear Sir/Madam,

I have just read Mr. Kendall's diary dated 23rd September you can read it for yourself here:

http://www.blondepoker.com/anecdotes/007043.html#22ndSept

To put it mildly I am shocked that an A list celebrity TV star like Mr. Kendall should have to drive himself half way across the country in order to conduct your business. Please picture the scene, the elderly Mr. Kendall driving down the motorway in the pouring rain with windscreen wipers which are not functioning correctly...

"Oh deary deary me" Thump "I must do well in this tourney tonight" Thump "and then I might be able to afford a new car" Thump
"The Austin Maestro has done so well for so many years now" Thump "but perhaps it's time for a new one" Thump
"Perhaps one of those new fangled Hondas might be.." Thump. Beep Beep "What's that noise? Has something" Thump "else gone wrong with the car?" Thump
"Oh it's OK it's my mobile telephone" Thump "Hello who's there?" Thump "There's nobody there. Oh it's a" Thump "text message, now where are my reading glasses?" Thump
"Here they are" thump "off with the driving glasses and on with the" thump "Oh it's from my boss Mr Colclough, he wants me to" thump "pick up his laundry from the" thump
Beep Beep "another message now how do I get the new one onto the screen" thump "Oh it's from my friend Brian" thump "he probably wants me to explain how to play J4 again to him" Thump

Well I hope you get the idea. We have a man in his eighties (I assume his age from seeing him on TV) doing his best to negotiate the overcrowded road system in South East England in near hurricane conditions because of your gross negligence. Would you ask Tom Cruise to suffer this indignity? If you had Madonna appearing in you programme would you expect her to get to the studio on her moped? If you were interviewing Her Majesty The Queen would she be expected to hitch a lift? Of course not. Just because Mr. Kendall works tirelessly without complaint for your company, you choose to take advantage of his good nature by expecting him to drive 300 miles in an old banger whilst answering messages from his legion of fans at the same time as wiping his windows.

This is an outrage of the highest proportions. I demand that Mr. Kendall is immediately given access to a twenty four hour chauffeur driven limousine service. If Mr.Kenadall were to have an accident (and this is not unlikely for a man in his nineties remember) then I'm sure even Robert HM wouldn't be able to get you off the resulting corporate negligence charges. As to what it would do to your company when millions of Mr. Kendall's fans (Kendallites) hear of your ineptitude and take their business to another Bookmaker, well I suggest you either get on the telephone to the limousine company immediately or else get Mr. HM to advise you on the latest bankruptcy regulations.

yours indignantly

Mr. U Bogroll

(Mr. Kendall's NUMBER ONE fan!!!)

[DTD-Nick.W]

uk bogroll

i can picture the ole fella now.
lol

[Trace]

PMFSL!

[TightEnd]

good stuff Mr Bog

but surely Tikay drives one of those "newfangled" Rover 75's?

[Heid]

he wants a rider that includes orange smarties as well

[bobby1]

Thank you for pointing this out Mr Bogroll, it is indeed very unfair to ask Mr kendall to drive in these conditions. You will be pleased to hear that we have provided him with a person to thump the windscreen on all future journeys.

thanks

[RED-DOG]

Do you want to sponsor me.........(as window thumper)

[Dewi_cool]

ha ha 

[tikay]

Thank you Mr Roll - can I call you bog?

Your evident concern touches me. I also need someone to pour coffee from my flask, balance the cup of hot coffee on the dashboard, & light my cigarettes.

Red Dog wants the job? Forget it. He chaueffured me from The Vic to Gutshot on Saturday evening. 2 or 3 miles, & it took an hour. He's quite hopeless.

And I am so pleased that Bog actually proved that SOMEONE actually reads my Diary, apart from the two cats, who love it. They think it's purrfection.

[Robert HM]

Dear Mr TKl,

I understand that there are potential issues with the contract between yourself and Poker425. Unfortunately I am unable to take instructions from a Third Party, although Mr Bogroll does seem to have your best interests at heart.

I am, of course, willing to act on your behalf and would issue the usual missives on your behalf. To initiate this please supply your formal instructions and a payment on account of, say, £17,000.

Yours

A. Brief

[tikay]

Thank you Mr HM.

Shall we start by unmasking who exactly Mr Roll is?.........

[Robert HM]

(Melodramatic tones) !

I *think* I would like to know 

[tikay]

There is an odd, bizarre & very touching "twist" to Mr Bogroll's original post.

A blondeite, who shalll be nameless, wrote me a long PM tonight. He said, "Look Tony, I know the Post was tongue in cheek, but it does worry me that you rush about all over the place, you gonna kill yourself if you ain't careful. I'm retired too, & I justt LOVE the Poker Scene. I am prepared to drive you around wherever you wanna go, act as Man Friday, help out with the Updates & stuff at the veniues, & generally help out. I don't want any money, just pay my hotel, that'll do".

It's from a well-known blondeite, & he is serioius. (Shame it was not from a girlie blondeite, eh?).

I just don't know what to say. This blonde place is quite extrraordinary,. Such wondeful peeps visit here.

[TightEnd]

Thank you Mr HM.

Shall we start by unmasking who exactly Mr Roll is?.........

I know...it's not too difficult to guess......