The question that splits the Nation!

[JungleCat03]

Hmmm

let's see

Dogs

PROS -
Can chase a stick if that floats your boat.
Easy to train due to their obsequious servility.
Can sniff out drugs if you are short of some.
Doubles up as burglar alarm.

CONS -
Nearly all hideously ugly and smelly,
happy to just defecate on the road without clearing up,
heads shaped like bullets,
coarse, greasy hair,
too thick to walk themselves,
try and procreate with random people's legs,
sometimes randomly kill people,
view letters and deliverers of letters as a potential threat,
stupidly protective of their environment,
completely undiscerning in showing loyalty to their owner (this is NOT a pro, following orders mindlessly is no excuse),
if u have a useless hand in poker you are a "dog",
make horrible barking noises,
ridiculous fixation with sticks and bones,
very easily fooled(hold stick, pretend to throw but dont let go, watch dog run after it like complete moron, point and laugh at the stupid creature)

Cats

PROS -
Are simultaneously ultimate predators and incredibly beautiful (if human would be someone like ONYATOP from Goldeneye(i think?)),
independent,
low maintenance - walk themselves,
dignified,
elegant,
discerning,
if forced to defecate in public, will make attempts to cover up their mess with nearby earth,
pay their way by means of providing a supply of dead rodents and birds,
stroking a pussy increases longevity,
bigger brothers are regarded as kings of jungle,
keep themselves pristinely clean,
revered and worshipped in many cultures including amongst the incredibly advanced egyptians,
ultimate accessory for a bond villain,
have been around since prehistoric times,
all the sounds they make are aesthetically pleasing,
soft fur, pleasing to the touch.
Will stop there though could go on almost indefinitely.

CONS -
Assume the mantle of control in the household,
do not suffer fools (DOGS) gladly,
unforgiving of mistakes,
love taking the piss out of humans( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozw8HZDPf7w ), dogs and other forms of life,
generally difficult to train as it is beneath them.

Bottom line is that cat's are cool. All the associations made to cats in language tend to be positive. Cool as a cat, the cat's whiskers, feline charms etc whilst most dog references are negative, I was a dog in that hand, she's a right dog, you played that hand like dogs**t. 

Cats rule and secretly all dog lovers know this but they're just too tight to cough up the dough for a proper burglar alarm.

[KingPoker]

Cats are the most disloyal, evil creatures to walk the earth (not really but trying to emphasise). Within a couple of days i could get any cat to happilly leave their old owners and live with me and never wanna go back, couldnt with a dog!!!
They are no better than the fleas they carry everywhere, like parasites, as soon as they can get what they want somewhere else they will p**s off!!!
They are boring!
They are sinister!
Worse than dogs they will play with a bit of a ball on a scratching post for hours on end! At least with a dog you get to go outside!
You fear to wiggle your toes in the same room as a cat as the next thing you know he has their claws and teeth around them!
They are more moody than women suffering from PMT or PMS or whatever its known as!
Tom cats have the most annoying, make you wanna rip your ears off, squawking noise when they fight!
They kill harmless tweetie birds for pure enjoyment of being able to play god!
They have no respect or sense of place in the home!

And they're ugly! End of! Thread Closed! All the best! Goodnight! God bless!!

 

[fearisthekey]

So, which way you voting KP?

Im a cat person obviously lol!

They are just scary and evil and every cat i have ever gone near has tried to attack me before i have parted ways from them. My girlfriend absolutely loves them but dogs are just the best animals in the world, closely followed by pigs then donkeys!

No sheep?

sheep are scary

http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2007/scary-sheep-p1.php

ommmmgggwtf

[KingPoker]

So, which way you voting KP?

Im a cat person obviously lol!

They are just scary and evil and every cat i have ever gone near has tried to attack me before i have parted ways from them. My girlfriend absolutely loves them but dogs are just the best animals in the world, closely followed by pigs then donkeys!

No sheep?

sheep are scary

http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2007/scary-sheep-p1.php

ommmmgggwtf

WTF, that is brilliant!! I think they are goats or some weird weird sheep if they are sheep!

[Zebediah]

Cats charm you when they feel like it and the next minute snub you cos the neighbour is cooking.
The come and go as they please and definitely don't wait up.
They can disappear one day when they find a better owner.
They'll use you for a roof over their head, food and cuddles as long as you are their best option (at the moment).
Don't ever expect one to commit as they a free agents baby.
HEARTLESS BASTARDS

Dogs are loyal and predictable.
The will defend you with their life.
They will never let you down.
They won't bugger off all hours of the night not knowing where they are.
They will love you more than you can ever love them
LIKE A BEST FRIEND

All that explains why women love CATS! 

[snoopy1239]

choose a liger instead.....tigers, pimp my ride stylee.

or a sniger...

[snoopy1239]

I had a dog, a border collie called Tara to be more precise, for around 18 years. She was my best friend as I grew up, forever faithful and always there if I needed some company.

Unfortunately, as she reached her late teens, age crept up on her and her physical health began to go downhill. No longer could she run around excitedly as you took her for a simple walk in the park, no longer could she eat without feeling pain, and no longer could she even go to the toilet without her back legs collapsing. After a while, the pain for both her and I became too much as she began to starve her self, her ribs gradually becoming more and more prevalent beyond her thinning coat. She was even having fits, dropping to the floor in a paralytic state and uncontrollably crapping on the floor - it really was uncomfortable viewing.

It was obvious that she'd had enough and it was with great misery that I requested that my father considered having her put down, not the easiest question I've asked. As expected, my Dad agreed that it was the right thing to do and that Tara should be sent to the vet to be put out of her misery. The night before she was due to leave us, we all took it in turns to say our goodbyes to what we regarded as a crucial family member. When it was my turn, I opened the utility door to see a dejected figure, and one that knew what was on the horizon. Head bowed and eye's glazed over, Tara wasn't sad that she was about to sleep her very final night, but that she wouldn't see us again. How she knew what was happening, I'm unsure. Perhaps it was something she picked up, but whatever it was, she knew.

This is why I prefer dogs and always will. Tara had an emotional attachment with us, she knew when we were sad, she knew when we were happy and would react accordingly, cheering us up if we looked down or keeping out of our way if were angry. Cats would never do this. If you are crying, they won't attempt to make you smile again, they'll simply scratch you with their paw and demand more food. Cats have their advantages, but are generally very selfish creatures, and when I choose a pet, this is something that is very important to me. I want a friend, someone who will stay loyal to me no matter what and be such a prevalent part of my life that I am as devastated as I was when I finally lost Tara.

Yes, she was indeed put down the next day, and I miss her even now several years on, but I don't regret having her as she made growing up such a more enjoyable experience. I only hope that others find such a genuine friendship in their pet, but for me, it's one that I simply don't think a cat can offer without wanting something in return.

[Eck]

I had a dog, a border collie called Tara to be more precise, for around 18 years. She was my best friend as I grew up, forever faithful and always there if I needed some company.

Unfortunately, as she reached her late teens, age crept up on her and her physical health began to go downhill. No longer could she run around excitedly as you took her for a simple walk in the park, no longer could she eat without feeling pain, and no longer could she even go to the toilet without her back leg's collapsing. After a while, the pain for both her and I became too much as she began to starve her self, her ribs gradually becoming more and more prevalent beyond her thinning coat. She was even having fits, dropping to the floor in a paralytic state and uncontrollably crapping on the floor - it really was uncomfortable viewing.

It was obvious that she'd had enough and it was with great misery that I requested that my father considered having her put down, not the easiest question I've asked. As expected, my Dad agreed that it was the right thing to do and that Tara should be sent to the vet to be put out of her misery. The night before she was due to leave us, we all took it in turns to say our goodbyes to what we regarded as a crucial family member. When it was my turn, I opened the utility door to see a dejected figure, and one that knew what was on the horizon. Head bowed and eye's glazed over, Tara wasn't sad that she was about to sleep her very final night, but that she wouldn't see us again. How she knew what was happening, I'm unsure. Perhaps it was something she picked up, but whatever it was, she knew.

This is why I prefer dogs and always will. Tara had an emotional attachment with us, she knew when we were sad, she knew when we were happy and would react accordingly, cheering us up if we looked down or keeping out of our way if were angry. Cats would never do this. If you are crying, they won't attempt to make you smile again, they'll simply scratch you with their paw and demand more food. Cats have their advantages, but are generally very selfish creatures, and when I choose a pet, this is something that is very important to me. I want a friend, someone who will stay loyal to me no matter what and be such a prevalent part of my life that I am as devastated as I was when I finally lost Tara.

Yes, she was indeed put down the next day, and I miss her even now several years on, but I don't regret having her as she made growing up such a more enjoyable experience. I only hope that others find such a genuine friendship in their pet, but for me, it's one that I simply don't think a cat can offer without wanting something in return.

Nice post snoops, i tried to convey similar feelings earlier in the week when we had to put Max down but i'm not as graced with the writing skills you have. I'm off tomorrow to collect his ashes and place them in the garden next to Rufus (our first boxer) who passed away in my arms about 10 years ago, he too had several seizures caused by a faulty heart valve and although we knew it was coming it was a heart wrenching experience, one i could never imagine going through with a cat as dogs give so much more to their owners than the owners give to them.

[barhell]

I'm looking after this beasty (see bottom image) for the night, she's a lovely dog but scared of her shadow.
I had to pick up my daughters from Brownies tonight so i grabbed the lead and took her with me, we get to the Brownie hall when we are ambushed i managed to escape unharmed but the poor dog got a bloody nose and a bit of shock (she was visibly shaking).

The culprit is similar to the image below, do not approach as culprit is believed to be armed and dangerous.


Or was it this one

[happybhoy]

Despite all the people who say Dogs being wrong I think we can all agree on one thing. Keeping fish as pets sucks. I yet to see a fish that doesn't have a look in it's eyes that says 'I used to have the oceans of the world as my playground now I live in a 2" sq cube thats half filled with my own shit, Please kill me'. People think that fish eat themselves to death cos they're thick, it's not it's because that's their only escape. Cats recognise this injustice and will preform humane mercy killings if given an moments opportunity.