You know Your a True Scot If ..........

[GlasgowBandit]

1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie , Ecclefechan, Milngavie,
Sauchiehall, St Enoch, Auchtermuchtyand Aufurfuksake.

2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.

3. Ye get four seasons in wan day.

4. Ye canny pass a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer blootert.

5. Ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink.

6. Ye see people wear shell suits with burberry accessories - pure class!

7. Ye measure distance in minutes.

8. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like
him, in yer ain family.

9. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is like gaun tae the ocean.

10. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.

11. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it.

12. Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day date.


13. You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the Church/Chapel.

14. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips, irn-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.

15. Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.

16. A big flash car has a ned at the wheel.

17. Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.

18. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.

19. Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals.

20. Finally, you are 100% Scot if you have ever said/heard these pharses...

how's it hingin
clatty
boggin
cludgie
pished
get it up ye
wee beasties
*** bandit
amurny
away an bile yer heid
peely-wally
humphey backit
Ba'-heid
baw bag
dubble nuggit



And finally......

Wee Glesca wumman goes intae a butchershop, where the butcher has just came oot the freezer, and is standing haunds ahint his back, with his rear end aimed at an electric fire.

The wee wumman checks oot the display case then asks, "Is that yer Ayrshire bacon?"

"Naw," replies the butcher. "It's jist ma haun's ah'm heatin'.

[madasahatstand]

Yes the joke at the end is funny:) as for the rest..................................

[Ironside]

Yes the joke at the end is funny:) as for the rest..................................

joke at end is older than i am as for the rest 0 out of 100

[kinboshi]

Pardon?

[Colchester Kev]

Something about Kilts i think Kin ?

[Dewi_cool]

I think I'm scottish

[kinboshi]

Pardon?

[fearisthekey]

8. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like
him, in yer ain family.

 Good post, GB.
Rab C is a legend. The costa skit is one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

(standing in bandage hat and string vest, toes in med) 'Look a dis, gallus, eh? The sun, the sea, the lovely sand. Ken wit spoils it? Ken what spoils it, eh?? Scum like me, thas what'. (paraphrased)

I do know of an english woman that walked into a shop in Aberdeen to get '12 of your finest butteries' and came out with two packs of Duracell.......

[mickyp]

16/20 for me am i still a true scotsman.?

[seven2unsuited]

2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.

i had one of those tonight for my dinner

[GlasgowBandit]

2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.

i had one of those tonight for my dinner

Good choice Joseph, I sometimes get one off the lunchtime special menu.