"All the talents"

[TightEnd]

Our new Prime Minister wants to build a government of "all the talents"


interestingly, he did not specify whether jugglers, chip tricksters and poker players are covered in all the talents, but lets assume so


What three particular talents would you bring to the Cabinet table to help run the country?

[Stone]

Cabinet Secretary - Alex Ferguson - To whip all those ministers into shape
Chancellor of the Exchequer - George Soros to make us a few bob
Home Secretary - Arnie Swarchenegger to lead our counter terror initiatives (hang on he was in downing street yesterday - interesting?)

[tonypoker]

Tony G



If the missile defence shield fails, we can always set Tony on the crazy Russians.

[spruce goose]

in the last few days of been accused of

1-hypocrisy

2-i dont listen to others diffreing opinions

3-when im obviously in the wrong i practise denial

just waiting for gordons call

[bolt pp]

these are the three areas of government in which i feel qualified to expound upon, not just on a theoretical level, but also specific to pragmatic implementation, and would substantiate my being a fine and pre eminent leader of this wonderful nation.

1)The criminal justice system:

My concern is that is that society is paying for erroneous foreign policy and seeing a fatuous sociolist redression that sees a domestic leniency towards criminality as an attempt to occlude from the public this governments abandonment of its inherent ideology. plus, check this yeah, ive got 8 ASBOs and was in the paper for having a record, and me and my pal once went on a rampage of violence beating up old people, kittens, puppy dogs and school kids and we only got 6 years in prison each.

2)homelessness:

I'm homeless and need somewhere to stay so if i got the job i'd get a new gaff, sweet, bit hot though really cos theres always old bill hanging about outside. 

3)tuition fees:

An eminently contentious issue some years ago and one that showed this government was willing to support statutes that belies it's predefined political agenda.

being as  prominent an issue as this is i would have to investigate alternatives with assiduous resolution, i would consider the following:

point 1: all students are lazy dossers that smell and look like tramps, which really dont do them no favours.

point 2: same as point 1, i just cant over emphasise it enough

point 3: as above

point 4: and again

Ive concluded from this that that the preponderance of the student population are scummers, I'll double the fees again an make them bastards sweat

[tikay]

these are the three areas of government in which i feel qualified to expound upon, not just on a theoretical level, but also specific to pragmatic implementation, and would substantiate my being a fine and pre eminent leader of this wonderful nation.

1)The criminal justice system:

My concern is that is that society is paying for erroneous foreign policy and seeing a fatuous sociolist redression that sees a domestic leniency towards criminality as an attempt to occlude from the public this governments abandonment of its inherent ideology. plus, check this yeah, ive got 8 ASBOs and was in the paper for having a record, and me and my pal once went on a rampage of violence beating up old people, kittens, puppy dogs and school kids and we only got 6 years in prison each.

2)homelessness:

I'm homeless and need somewhere to stay so if i got the job i'd get a new gaff, sweet, bit hot though really cos theres always old bill hanging about outside. 

3)tuition fees:

An eminently contentious issue some years ago and one that showed this government was willing to support statutes that belies it's predefined political agenda.

being as  prominent an issue as this is i would have to investigate alternatives with assiduous resolution, i would consider the following:

point 1: all students are lazy dossers that smell and look like tramps, which really dont do them no favours.

point 2: same as point 1, i just cant over emphasise it enough

point 3: as above

point 4: and again

Ive concluded from this that that the preponderance of the student population are scummers, I'll double the fees again an make them bastards sweat

Send for the ASBO Analyzer please.

[TightEnd]

ASBO Analyser


"He's stoned"

[bolt pp]

Everything i said there is the truth except for the made up stuff

This is my manifesto for a new Britain, i'm trying to make the country a better place, can you take it seriously please.

[TightEnd]

Everything i said there is the truth except for the made up stuff which dont count

This is my manifesto for a new Britain, i'm trying to make the country a better place, can you take it seriously please.

pass the Snakebite, mate

[tikay]

Everything i said there is the truth except for the made up stuff which dont count

This is my manifesto for a new Britain, i'm trying to make the country a better place, can you take it seriously please.

"New bolt".

[bolt pp]

Everything i said there is the truth except for the made up stuff which dont count

This is my manifesto for a new Britain, i'm trying to make the country a better place, can you take it seriously please.

"New bolt".

Does Boltism sound too much like botulism cos i'm still undecided what to call my movement

[tikay]

Everything i said there is the truth except for the made up stuff which dont count

This is my manifesto for a new Britain, i'm trying to make the country a better place, can you take it seriously please.

"New bolt".

Does Boltism sound too much like botulism cos i'm still undecided what to call my movement

It will be elocution, elocution, elocution.

[RED-DOG]

Everything i said there is the truth except for the made up stuff which dont count

This is my manifesto for a new Britain, i'm trying to make the country a better place, can you take it seriously please.

"New bolt".

Does Boltism sound too much like botulism cos i'm still undecided what to call my movement

You could call it something similar to the movement I had earlier today.

[bolt pp]

Everything i said there is the truth except for the made up stuff which dont count

This is my manifesto for a new Britain, i'm trying to make the country a better place, can you take it seriously please.

"New bolt".

Does Boltism sound too much like botulism cos i'm still undecided what to call my movement

It will be elocution, elocution, elocution.

Ahhh, we might struggle then, the party will be comprised of mainly working class people.

I dont want my door to door canvassers opening with "can i interest you in botulism".

[MKKfish]

Simple really..."VOTE FOR BOLTS - THE OPPOSITION ARE NUTS"....tadaa