Vegas & The Aftermath - Diary

[Lucky]

Journalistic work of biblically epic proportions...

http://www.racingpost.com/news/poker/tony-kendall/659638/playerprofiles/

"Win and lose with dignity" - Dennis Barnes

LOL - Irony at its best.

[riverdave]

"What's the best bit of poker advice given or received? Received? "Wait for a better situation" - Mickey Wernick, "Bankroll management is key" - Dave Penly"

PMSL

Dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[Karabiner]

"Nocturnal activities" 

[GreekStein]

"What's the best bit of poker advice given or received? Received? "Wait for a better situation" - Mickey Wernick, "Bankroll management is key" - Dave Penly"

PMSL

Dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I know it's in good jest between u and I but I'm not sure Tikay would appreciate this on his thread in particular.

Thanks.

[tikay]

"What's the best bit of poker advice given or received? Received? "Wait for a better situation" - Mickey Wernick, "Bankroll management is key" - Dave Penly"

PMSL

Dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I know it's in good jest between u and I but I'm not sure Tikay would appreciate this on his thread in particular.

Thanks.

I'm totally fine with it, but thank you Cos.

He's said MUCH worse things than that recently, trust me. But don't go looking, because it got removed sharpish by the Mods, thank God.

[riverdave]

"What's the best bit of poker advice given or received? Received? "Wait for a better situation" - Mickey Wernick, "Bankroll management is key" - Dave Penly"

PMSL

Dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I know it's in good jest between u and I but I'm not sure Tikay would appreciate this on his thread in particular.

Thanks.

Was aimed at you Cos hence why i quoted you quoting it. Tikay is obv one of the blessed undead at his age, and i like to think he was genuinely appreciative of my wise words whilst your PMSL rather gave yourself away.

[riverdave]

"What's the best bit of poker advice given or received? Received? "Wait for a better situation" - Mickey Wernick, "Bankroll management is key" - Dave Penly"

PMSL

Dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I know it's in good jest between u and I but I'm not sure Tikay would appreciate this on his thread in particular.

Thanks.

I'm totally fine with it, but thank you Cos.

He's said MUCH worse things than that recently, trust me. But don't go looking, because it got removed sharpish by the Mods, thank God.

Too much love for IPoker imo

[GreekStein]

"What's the best bit of poker advice given or received? Received? "Wait for a better situation" - Mickey Wernick, "Bankroll management is key" - Dave Penly"

PMSL

Dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I know it's in good jest between u and I but I'm not sure Tikay would appreciate this on his thread in particular.

Thanks.

Was aimed at you Cos hence why i quoted you quoting it. Tikay is obv one of the blessed undead at his age, and i like to think he was genuinely appreciative of my wise words whilst your PMSL rather gave yourself away.

I know the 'diee' was aimed at me. I'm genuinely fine with that but would rather it was off the forum. Nvm forget it now.

[tikay]

I have begun the re-possession of my house from several years accumulation of tosh, & chanced across this photo.

I think I've always had a fine taste in bespoke Jackets, it's something one is born with.

Who decapitated that eagle ?

Show a little respect Mr S.

That's the famous Captain's Blazer, adorned as it is with the Eagle Crest of Ormonde Fields Golf Club aka Royal Ormonde.

I do so wish you had been present at my Captain's Day, what a day that is in a Club Golfer's life.

And golf has such wonderful, weird & peculiar ways. Members had - HAD - to address me as Mr Captain (now they must call me Mr Past Captain), there was a Captain's Chair/Throne in the Clubhouse - nobody else can sit in that! - & a Car Park Space specially marked & reserved, the ultimate golf status symbol. Even now, I bump into Members who call me Mr Kendall, though I'm never quite sure if their tongue is in their cheek. I rather hope it is, to be honest.

My Captain's year was punctured by illness which forced me to miss the last few months of the year, & I never returned. All a bit sad really, but my life has always been like that - I'm full on until the end, & once "that" moment arrives, I move on, never to be seen again. I did the same with snooker, & I daresay I'll do the same with poker one day. In fact, I can guarantee I will.

The whole Golf "chapter" in my life was engineered by John Kirkland (JNK), who thought it would make me more rounded as a person (not plump rounded, rounded rounded), & when I was made Captain he was as proud as anyone could ever be.

A golf Captain's year can be very expensive, you have to buy gifts & stuff for the Committee, & pay for prizes & stuff. The Captain pays for it personally, that's the tradition. JNK asked me what I planned to spend in my "year". "About £2,500" I told him. He gave me £5,000 there & then, & said "do it properly, but not excessively".

A Captain also, traditionally, supports a Charity, & I selected a local charity for a rare illness in which children do not physically grow, & they have associated behavioural problems. ("Retarded" would be the old-fashioned word, a word which so many cretinous dumbschmuck poker players find amusing). I gave them the whole £5,000 which JNK had given me, & limited my Captain's spending to a little over £1,000, so that was pretty neat really, all boxes neatly ticked.

In my Vice Captain & Captain's years I must have attended 130 or 140 formal golf dinners, ugh, they were horrendously stiff affairs. Tradition dictated everything. The Captain enters the formal Dining Room last, someone would announce "be upstanding for Mr Captain", who then sits down, & only then can everyone else sit down. And Grace - the Captain said Grace before every single meal. "For what we are about to receive, da de da de da, may we be truly grateful, Amen....."

After-Dinner Speeches, too. I wrote all my own, & I enjoyed writing them, & the oration of them, but in time, I just thought of a theme & some bullet points & done the whole thing off the cuff. I did them pretty well, too, I could "feel" if I had the audience just so. MUCH better that way, & it later served me well in a most unexpected way - in TV, of all things.

Who'd have thunk? I could neither read nor write until I was 13, & I had the most dreadful of stammers until I was 20. OMG, the memory of the shame I felt for being an adolescent stammerer & stutterer sends shivers down my spine even now, but it sure builds character.

Funny how things turn out, but I'd be lying if I said I were not quietly satisfied with how it all turned out, all things considered. Just wish I was not so bloody old, & the inevitable consequences of that.

PS - How did a one-line retort turn into that bunch of spiel?

[kinboshi]

Do you have to roll up your trouser leg and bare your chest at these clubs?

[tikay]

This must be the youngest ever pic of tikay:

Great great spot Mr Galloway! I bet that one has whooshed most, but it's an absolute purler, spot on.

[tikay]

Steve Coogan takes time out to pose with his keenest fan at the 1995 Alan Partridge convention. Or maybe it's his dad?   

Click to see full-size image.

That is just brilliant Keith!

Please report to the Committee Room at 9am on Sunday, & bring your locker Key.

[tikay]

Do you have to roll up your trouser leg and bare your chest at these clubs?

Not at THAT Club, no, that's a different club.

I knew a bricklayer who was a Mason......

Not sure how we are jumping from subject to subject so quickly here, but did you know there is a Trade called a "monumental mason"? They are Masons who make (grave) monuments, obv, but it sounds SO grand!

[EvilPie]

I have begun the re-possession of my house from several years accumulation of tosh, & chanced across this photo.

I think I've always had a fine taste in bespoke Jackets, it's something one is born with.

Who decapitated that eagle ?

Show a little respect Mr S.

That's the famous Captain's Blazer, adorned as it is with the Eagle Crest of Ormonde Fields Golf Club aka Royal Ormonde.

I do so wish you had been present at my Captain's Day, what a day that is in a Club Golfer's life.

And golf has such wonderful, weird & peculiar ways. Members had - HAD - to address me as Mr Captain (now they must call me Mr Past Captain), there was a Captain's Chair/Throne in the Clubhouse - nobody else can sit in that! - & a Car Park Space specially marked & reserved, the ultimate golf status symbol. Even now, I bump into Members who call me Mr Kendall, though I'm never quite sure if their tongue is in their cheek. I rather hope it is, to be honest.

My Captain's year was punctured by illness which forced me to miss the last few months of the year, & I never returned. All a bit sad really, but my life has always been like that - I'm full on until the end, & once "that" moment arrives, I move on, never to be seen again. I did the same with snooker, & I daresay I'll do the same with poker one day. In fact, I can guarantee I will.

The whole Golf "chapter" in my life was engineered by John Kirkland (JNK), who thought it would make me more rounded as a person (not plump rounded, rounded rounded), & when I was made Captain he was as proud as anyone could ever be.

A golf Captain's year can be very expensive, you have to buy gifts & stuff for the Committee, & pay for prizes & stuff. The Captain pays for it personally, that's the tradition. JNK asked me what I planned to spend in my "year". "About £2,500" I told him. He gave me £5,000 there & then, & said "do it properly, but not excessively".

A Captain also, traditionally, supports a Charity, & I selected a local charity for a rare illness in which children do not physically grow, & they have associated behavioural problems. ("Retarded" would be the old-fashioned word, a word which so many cretinous dumbschmuck poker players find amusing). I gave them the whole £5,000 which JNK had given me, & limited my Captain's spending to a little over £1,000, so that was pretty neat really, all boxes neatly ticked.

In my Vice Captain & Captain's years I must have attended 130 or 140 formal golf dinners, ugh, they were horrendously stiff affairs. Tradition dictated everything. The Captain enters the formal Dining Room last, someone would announce "be upstanding for Mr Captain", who then sits down, & only then can everyone else sit down. And Grace - the Captain said Grace before every single meal. "For what we are about to receive, da de da de da, may we be truly grateful, Amen....."

After-Dinner Speeches, too. I wrote all my own, & I enjoyed writing them, & the oration of them, but in time, I just thought of a theme & some bullet points & done the whole thing off the cuff. I did them pretty well, too, I could "feel" if I had the audience just so. MUCH better that way, & it later served me well in a most unexpected way - in TV, of all things.

Who'd have thunk? I could neither read nor write until I was 13, & I had the most dreadful of stammers until I was 20. OMG, the memory of the shame I felt for being an adolescent stammerer & stutterer sends shivers down my spine even now, but it sure builds character.

Funny how things turn out, but I'd be lying if I said I were not quietly satisfied with how it all turned out, all things considered. Just wish I was not so bloody old, & the inevitable consequences of that.

PS - How did a one-line retort turn into that bunch of spiel?

Sure does........

You there this weekend Mr Past Captain? Hmmmmm....... I wonder if there's any lieage in that?

[tikay]

I have begun the re-possession of my house from several years accumulation of tosh, & chanced across this photo.

I think I've always had a fine taste in bespoke Jackets, it's something one is born with.

Who decapitated that eagle ?

Show a little respect Mr S.

That's the famous Captain's Blazer, adorned as it is with the Eagle Crest of Ormonde Fields Golf Club aka Royal Ormonde.

I do so wish you had been present at my Captain's Day, what a day that is in a Club Golfer's life.

And golf has such wonderful, weird & peculiar ways. Members had - HAD - to address me as Mr Captain (now they must call me Mr Past Captain), there was a Captain's Chair/Throne in the Clubhouse - nobody else can sit in that! - & a Car Park Space specially marked & reserved, the ultimate golf status symbol. Even now, I bump into Members who call me Mr Kendall, though I'm never quite sure if their tongue is in their cheek. I rather hope it is, to be honest.

My Captain's year was punctured by illness which forced me to miss the last few months of the year, & I never returned. All a bit sad really, but my life has always been like that - I'm full on until the end, & once "that" moment arrives, I move on, never to be seen again. I did the same with snooker, & I daresay I'll do the same with poker one day. In fact, I can guarantee I will.

The whole Golf "chapter" in my life was engineered by John Kirkland (JNK), who thought it would make me more rounded as a person (not plump rounded, rounded rounded), & when I was made Captain he was as proud as anyone could ever be.

A golf Captain's year can be very expensive, you have to buy gifts & stuff for the Committee, & pay for prizes & stuff. The Captain pays for it personally, that's the tradition. JNK asked me what I planned to spend in my "year". "About £2,500" I told him. He gave me £5,000 there & then, & said "do it properly, but not excessively".

A Captain also, traditionally, supports a Charity, & I selected a local charity for a rare illness in which children do not physically grow, & they have associated behavioural problems. ("Retarded" would be the old-fashioned word, a word which so many cretinous dumbschmuck poker players find amusing). I gave them the whole £5,000 which JNK had given me, & limited my Captain's spending to a little over £1,000, so that was pretty neat really, all boxes neatly ticked.

In my Vice Captain & Captain's years I must have attended 130 or 140 formal golf dinners, ugh, they were horrendously stiff affairs. Tradition dictated everything. The Captain enters the formal Dining Room last, someone would announce "be upstanding for Mr Captain", who then sits down, & only then can everyone else sit down. And Grace - the Captain said Grace before every single meal. "For what we are about to receive, da de da de da, may we be truly grateful, Amen....."

After-Dinner Speeches, too. I wrote all my own, & I enjoyed writing them, & the oration of them, but in time, I just thought of a theme & some bullet points & done the whole thing off the cuff. I did them pretty well, too, I could "feel" if I had the audience just so. MUCH better that way, & it later served me well in a most unexpected way - in TV, of all things.

Who'd have thunk? I could neither read nor write until I was 13, & I had the most dreadful of stammers until I was 20. OMG, the memory of the shame I felt for being an adolescent stammerer & stutterer sends shivers down my spine even now, but it sure builds character.

Funny how things turn out, but I'd be lying if I said I were not quietly satisfied with how it all turned out, all things considered. Just wish I was not so bloody old, & the inevitable consequences of that.

PS - How did a one-line retort turn into that bunch of spiel?

Sure does........

You there this weekend Mr Past Captain? Hmmmmm....... I wonder if there's any lieage in that?

Sunday, yes, all being well. A private game in London tonight, Show tomorrow, DTD on Sunday probably, though I hear Luton have a decent Tourney too. But DTD almost certainly, & I'm meeting Thewy there as well.

Is "lieage" "mileage"?

And were you a stutterer & stammerer? Jeez, it is THE most God-awful thing.

At Junior School, they sussed that if I sung, I did not stutter. (It's true!). And in those days, in school class, if you wanted a wee, you had to put your hand up & ask. So I'd stick my hand up & then sing "Please Miss, I want to go to Wee". I never quite summoned the courage to heartily sing about bowel evacuations.