Yes it is official. I have finally lost what remained of the marbles and Mrs Cooklin is very likely going to kill me this time on account of the fact that we could definitely do better things with the money, like spend it on her for a start.
Having reached that moment where blokes of my age suddenly start winding the clock back and doing things that you would have trouble assigning to the average Kevin and Perry I find myself joining this lunatic fringe. Have I found a new woman? No no quite happy with the current one. Have I gone and bought a motorbike? No no fat not stupid.
No what I have been doing is trawling that most fascinating of sites DVLA.GOV.UK looking at personalised number plates. Now this is not quite as simple as it sounds as the site falls over more than anywhere I have ever encountered. Having got into the site, what number should I go for? After all this is a once in a lifetime stupid waste of time and money. It just has to be right. I have agonised for weeks and tried many different combinations. 5NAT, P 1 COO, way too expensive..............now where are the cheap ones.
In the middle of all this research I am playing a one table sit n go on Stars and crack

with

at which point my poor opponent types ffs snat.......my word that's it thinks I. Quickly onto the dvla site and type into the search engine FF 55 NAT or as it will appear on my plates FF5 5NAT. Yes I've gone and bought them. What am I thinking???
Now for all you couples out there you may understand where I am coming from if I say the following "I know I haven't got a dress that goes with these shoes but I just had to have them!" and of course here in lay my true genius/stupidity. I do not have a car currently to put them on. It has to be relatively new ie 55 or later. It has to be in keeping with my new found eccentricity and of course relatively cheap. I look forward to your suggestions.