It's ma nose's boythday!

[RED-DOG]

About 27 years ago, I accidentally left my nose where this geezer could bump his fist on it. It was my own fault, I was jabbing when I should have been weaving. Anyway, the next morning my hooter was swollen to an impossible size, it looked like a pump handle and it was so sore that I was scared to blink in case the wind generated by my eyelids blew on it. Mrs Red insisted that I went to the hospital for a checkup, I was scared to let anyone examine my nose, but I was even more scared of Mrs Red, so, reluctantly, I went.

The ear nose and throat specialist at Kings Mill hospital was a small Asian gentleman who didn't weigh very much. At least he didn't seem to weigh very much when he shoved a small torch into my left nostril and I grabbed the front of his shirt and lifted him off the ground. He said something in his own language, I don't know what it was, but it sounded suspiciously like "Arrgh, you've got my skin"

After exchanging a few more pleasntries, we both agreed that I should go away and return when the pain had diminished and the swelling had subsided, 27 years later. I felt ready.

I made an appointment with my doctor and he in turn referred me to the ENT department of the Rutland Memorial Hospital at Oakham. Oakham is near Melton Mowbray and is about an hour's drive for me, but I had told my GP that anywhere would do, and that is where he sent me.

This time the examination went smoothly. Apparently, I have a "deviated septum" In laymans terms that means that the piece of cartilage that acts as a stiffener for my nose has been bent into a sort of "S" shape. This, according to my records, is the result of "Blunt force trauma". The specialist assured me that the damage could be repaired, and that it would involve an overnight stay, a couple of weeks off work (Yeah right) and some moderate discomfort. He then proceeded to read out a list of possible side effects that scared me to death. Pain, bleeding, infection, septal haematoma, abscess, perforated septum, cosmetic deformity and, last but not least, pain. I know I've already mentioned the pain, but indulge me please.

I have decided to go ahead. It will be fantastic to be able to breath through my nose properly again, to close my mouth completely when I'm asleep, to cover one nostril and blow assorted detritus from the other....

It's taken me 27 years to pluck up the courage to get this sorted, I'm not backing out now.


 

[KingPoker]

 

[tikay]

Jeez, another Red-Dog purler!

[RioRodent]

This time the examination went smoothly. Apparently, I have a "deviated septum" In laymans terms that means that the piece of cartilage that acts as a stiffener for my nose has been bent into a sort of "S" shape. This, according to my records, is the result of "Blunt force trauma". The specialist assured me that the damage could be repaired, and that it would involve an overnight stay, a couple of weeks off work (Yeah right) and some moderate discomfort. He then proceeded to read out a list of possible side effects that scared me to death. Pain, bleeding, infection, septal haematoma, abscess, perforated septum, cosmetic deformity and, last but not least, pain. I know I've already mentioned the pain, but indulge me please.

I have decided to go ahead. It will be fantastic to be able to breath through my nose properly again, to close my mouth completely when I'm asleep, to cover one nostril and blow assorted detritus from the other....

I had this operation (septoplasty) last year. As for the side effects, the pain wasn't too bad - and I don't like pain! - but it did bleed and bleed and then it bled some more, finally stopping about 36 hrs after the operation.

I can now breath through both nostrils... but still snore like a pig!

[Robert HM]

Good luck with the op. The pain will still go and the benefits will be a satisfying reward. I speak from experience, having had my nose "adjusted" on a number of occasions. Diving in shallow sea, crap wicket keeping, ejecting a drunk when I ran a pub for a while and worst of all was kissing the bonnet of a minivan when a few seconds before I was sitting in the passenger seat thinking "Is she going slow enough to stop at the roundabout". A few weeks after the car incident I was put under whilst my nose was straightened. It hurt, I won't deny it, but I would have hated a life smelling my left ear.

[boldie]

Happy boythday nose!

[RED-DOG]

As I said, it was about an hour's journey to Oakham but I allowed two hours. I don't mind arriving early but I absolutely hate being late. However, the roads were surprisingly clear and I arrived at the hospital with some time to kill, so I took a walk into town.

Oakham turned out to be an interesting place, not least because of the level crossing that bisects the T junction at the town's entrance. There was a white wooden signal box on one side of the road, and a beautiful wrought-iron footbridge on the other. They looked picture-book perfect, unchanged by the passage of time. It was as if at any moment an old locomotive a would pass beneath the bridge, belching a generous cloud of steam and cinders into the excited faces of crossing schoolchildren, Then the fireman would wave from the footplate to the lone figure in the signal box, a moment later, the train would be gone, leaving you wondering if you had imagined it all.



The bridge and the signal box impressed me so much that I tried to photograph them with my phone, I've posted the results below.

[RED-DOG]

Amazingly, after looking at that signal box I did a google search when I got home and found this.

http://www.grantham.karoo.net/andrew/oakham.html

No wonder it looked somehow familiar.

[Claw75]

Happy birthday nose - hope the op goes well.

[RED-DOG]

I saw this gorgeous thatched cottage too, one of those blue-plaque jobbies.

[RED-DOG]

You will have to take my word for this, but under the eaves of this house was mud nest containing several house-martins that were just about to fledge. They would take turns at pushing themselves almost all the way out and then duck back in just before they got to the point of no return.

The amazing thing is, once the do leap out of that nest and take to the air they, like the rest of the swallow and martin family, will probably not land again until it is time for them to build their own nest and raise a family

[RED-DOG]

This house fascinated me. It's built, except for the chimney, entirely of corrugated iron. Why would anyone do such a thing? No wonder it was derelict.

[tikay]

Tom, keep this stuff coming, I'm loving it.

[RED-DOG]

I spotted this on the way home. Ain't she 'andsome? If memory serves, she's an Austin 7. (tikay will know)

[charmaine]

Goodluck with the op Tom