When you are getting romantic with your lover, you can’t flop the nuts.
The only good lay you ever get is when you have to lay down your Aces to trip
.
To put your girl in the mood, you put on the movie “Rounders”.
Your idea of an orgy is when somebody at the table yells, “All In!”
The only “action” you ever get is when somebody raises you.
Other men talk about Tits and Arse but all you can think about is Top Pair and Bottom Pair.
You stop having dreams about Pamela Anderson and start having them about Annie Duke instead.
The centre pages of your Card Player magazine are stuck together.
The only rack you can't stop staring at is your own....
Viagra works for Hugh Hefner but the only thing that works for you is Pocket Aces.....
When somebody says liquor in the front and poker in the rear you just assume they mean the casino
When you have to call in a pro during sex to see if you should go all in or not..
When you start naming your body parts after poker hands like big slick...
The only 4-King going on is at the card table.
During a gangbang, all of your buddies want to be in 1st position but you want to be last to act....
You know poker is ruining your life if you ask your wife if she is bluffing during sex...
When you have two ladies in your hand wishing that they were two cowboys
During sex you scream "ALL IN! IM ALL IN!"
You're at a strip club watching a pole dancer with other guys. Instead of watching the girl you stare down the guys and whenever someone throws in a dollar, you always raise them $5 to go. (if ironside could confirm this as being true!?!?!?!)
You date twins exclusively because while a big pair is nice, Quads are better...
You are a 2 minute brother because you learnt by reading Super System never to slow play.
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