BBC sports website, always a cracking read 
The story of the year, never mind the week, concerned the bloke who went missing for five years and turned up claiming to remember nothing.
Hopefully now Frank Lampard's got that off his chest, his performances in an England shirt will see a marked improvement.
You can bet Sam Allardyce has spent the last few weeks wishing he could disappear for a while, and if his Newcastle side fail to build on the hard-earned point against Arsenal he might just get his wish.
www.bbc.co.uk/dna/606/A29879...
If Big Sam thinks he's got problems, pity poor Rob Styles, who could be in hot water with Cristiano Ronaldo's mum after denying her son his first treble for Manchester United.
Ronaldo, who was booked for diving by the ref against Fulham when he should have given a penalty, revealed: "My mum said 'Why do you never score a hat-trick?'" - which roughly translates as 'Watch your back, Stylesy, mama's coming to get you'.
Mrs R is certainly not a woman to be messed with. When confronted with the news that her boy was reportedly dating 'I'm A Nonentity' Gemma Atkinson back in May, she snapped: "He doesn't have a girlfriend. I put my hands in the fire as he did not go with the girl people say is his girlfriend."
And when word reaches her that 'I Hate Ronaldo' was one of the most popular internet searches of 2007, someone's heading for a hefty whack in the Googles. news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/foo...
In the FA Cup, Havant & Waterlooville produced the performance of the round to knock out Notts County and set up a mouth-watering third round tie with, er, Horsham or Swansea.
Dad's passport picture is a full-length shotRicky Hatton
The Havant fan club celebrated their famous victory by inviting Showaddywaddy to become honorary members after their big hit Under The Moon Of Love was adopted as a terrace anthem. (See pic above).
www.havantandwaterlooville.n...
Outside of football, all the talk centred around the Hatton-Mayweather fight. On Thursday the pair played up to the cameras in a five-minute performance that had it all - the trash talk, the stare-out and the inevitable handbags as tempers came to the boil.
As our man in Vegas, the globe-trotting Ben Dirs, put it: "Anyone would have thought the fight was to prove who was the hardest in the fourth year juniors."
www.bbc.co.uk/dna/606/A29874...
Hatton's mum, Carol (not to mention his two grandmothers) has been doing her fair share of interviews, showing just where her son gets his wit and sparkle from.
When asked how Ricky did at school, she deadpanned: "He wasn't thick but he wasn't far from it."
Hatton, wearing a 'Fatty's Gonna Get Ya' training top, said of his parents: "Dad’s tiny – his passport picture is a full-length shot. He looks like he just hopped off a key ring. Mum is a different matter, she’s a bit of a handful to say the least. I love her more than anyone on this Earth. But she’s a monster."
Mrs H retaliated by warning: "I'll crack him next time he says that."
Forget Eduardo Escobedo against the wonderfully-named Daniel Ponce De Leon, let's get Carol and Mrs Ronaldo on the undercard -what a cracker that would be.
The Sun had the big fight headline of the week, running their story about Hatton and his girlfriend 'defying a sex ban' under the banner 'The Hitman and her Indoors', but the best comment came from a 606 user preparing for a bit of armchair viewing:
"Ultimate boys' day Sat/Sun. Leeds v Huddersfield mid-day kick-off, back into Leeds to watch other games at various waterholes. Then lap-dancing bar for a cheeky hour (with other lads, about 20 of us) then back to mine to watch all the boxing going off. Two large tellies set up in living room, one with X-Box 360 football games, next one with boxing on. House gunna be trashed, neighbours gunna be p***** off, girlfriend will probably dump me, but I couldnt give a hoot as long as Hatton does the business!"
And so say all of us.
OTHER STUFF
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNjX... Aberdeen fan dives into urinal at Parkhead
www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aPz... Jimmy Hill 'exploding' as Alan Hansen cracks up
www.youtube.com/watch?v=nosx... Fantasy Football classic with Hansen
www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKuW... Keeper celebrates goal with some bottom bouncing
www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Urq... Oddset bookies ad.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cksn... David Coleman's 1969 Man City interview
(From Whoateallthepies)
www.whoateallthepies.tv/
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