Apologies to Rudyard Kiplings' "IF"

[The_duke]

Apologies to fans of the original here is poker version of IF


If you can keep your money when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust your AK when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can fold to a bet and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being out drawn, don't give way to tilting,
And yet don't look too smug, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream of  winning - and of big pots looted;
If you can think - and still remain completely sane;
If you can differentiate between 7 2 off and 8 2 suited
And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth that’s spoken
Twisted by Aces to make a trap for fools,
Or watch your great hand busted and broken,
And then can blame the workman not the tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of a river to cross,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To be able to place that “All In” when hope seems gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the courage and strength to go on

If you can talk with donkeys and keep your virtue,
Or table with superstars – and not lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but careful, none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving bad beat minute
With sixty seconds' worth of smiling and be done
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

[Dewi_cool]

 












very good though

[lawsuit]

Dear Mr 'The Duke'.

I represent a firm on behalf of the late Mr Rudyard Kipling's family. They have notified my of the above post via email and I am afraid it is in breach of copyright. To use the above wording for personal entertainment we require payment of $1,394.

I have sent you a private message with the account details on which this required to be paid into.

You may hear from me very shortly as I have just received another email from a Mr Lurhmann.

Regards
Mr Dwight Smithington

[The_duke]

Dear Mr 'The Duke'.

I represent a firm on behalf of the late Mr Rudyard Kipling's family. They have notified my of the above post via email and I am afraid it is in breach of copyright. To use the above wording for personal entertainment we require payment of $1,394.

I have sent you a private message with the account details on which this required to be paid into.

You may hear from me very shortly as I have just received another email from a Mr Lurhmann.

Regards
Mr Dwight Smithington

Dear Mr Smithington

It is with great trepidation that I read your private correspondence, particularly the part that included the use of “persuasive wooden sporting implements”. I must also respectfully decline your offer of assistance from the “Door Custodians” to help with my recollection. Whilst also not fully understanding the phase “Testicular Removal” and “Cranium Destruction” I must take umbrage to your oblique reference to “Obese person born out of wedlock”.

If you would be most kind, could you please reply with a full explanation of,  “Using my intestinal particulars in place of stocking support” and why I would even have to contemplate drinking soup through a straw.

Yours etc


Duke

[lawsuit]

Dear Mr 'The Duke'.

I represent a firm on behalf of the late Mr Rudyard Kipling's family. They have notified my of the above post via email and I am afraid it is in breach of copyright. To use the above wording for personal entertainment we require payment of $1,394.

I have sent you a private message with the account details on which this required to be paid into.

You may hear from me very shortly as I have just received another email from a Mr Lurhmann.

Regards
Mr Dwight Smithington

Dear Mr Smithington

It is with great trepidation that I read your private correspondence, particularly the part that included the use of “persuasive wooden sporting implements”. I must also respectfully decline your offer of assistance from the “Door Custodians” to help with my recollection. Whilst also not fully understanding the phase “Testicular Removal” and “Cranium Destruction” I must take umbrage to your oblique reference to “Obese person born out of wedlock”.

If you would be most kind, could you please reply with a full explanation of,  “Using my intestinal particulars in place of stocking support” and why I would even have to contemplate drinking soup through a straw.

Yours etc


Duke

One shall see one in court.

Good day

DS

[Laxie]

 

You're not right in the head...you know that don't ya? 

[boldie]

lmao.

Top class once again Duke.