The earth moved for me!!!!!!!!!!!!! - MERGED

[tikay]

A major earthquake measuring 4.7 on the Richter scale hit Lincoln with its epicenter in Hull.

Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Faaackinell".

The earthquake decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage.

Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa del Sol were damaged beyond repair.

Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived. Notts FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Lincoln.

One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying.
My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Trisha the next morning."

Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal.

The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:


Fila or Burberry baseball caps
Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
Shell suits (female)
White sport socks
Rockport boots
Any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.

Required foodstuffs include:

Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans, Ice cream, Cans of White Lightning or Special Brew. 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms.

£2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9.
£5 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

**Breaking news**

Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop. 'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked," Radford " said the girl, "woss that gotta do wiv you?

That, Mr W, is the funniest thing you've ever Posted. Bloody brilliant!

[dik9]

Nicked from when the buggers sent me it from when Dudley had theirs, you seriously think i could be that funny

[Royal Flush]

http://earthquake.usgs.gov/eqcenter/recenteqsww/Quakes/us2008nyae.php

lol @ people feeling it in Brighton and Plymouth!!!

Nothing in Brighton for the record.

[bobby1]

how weird was that,I thought the window had blown open when everything started moving in the bedroom. I did love this on the BBC website. How terribly British.

David Somerset, 41, from Driffield near Beverley in East Yorkshire, said: "I have never felt one as strong as that one before. I was in my sitting room and the grandfather clock was rattling rather violently."It was very strong, I felt the whole room moving."

[ifm]

Grimsby apparently, woke me up in Brum so must be pretty tough up there.

[redsimon]

12.55 am Nottingham my windows were shaking violently and woke me up. Thought it was just the heavy winds last night. Can't see any damage now I know what it was...

[Longy]

Yeah felt it in Nottingham, woke me up. Thought it was the end of the world for about 2 secs in my half asleep state, I even turned on the tv to see if something serious had happened but nothing, so went back to sleep.

[littlemissC]

Yeah felt it in Nottingham, woke me up. Thought it was the end of the world for about 2 secs in my half asleep state, I even turned on the tv to see if something serious had happened but nothing, so went back to sleep.

lol
thats what i did to..was quite scary how strong it was in  notts

[turny]

for the first time in months i was asleep at 1am!

slept right through it as did charlotte then again no big deal shes used to the earth moving 

[Tonji]

No sign of any International aid arriving soon in Yorkshire, dammit its an earthquake zone, Gordon Brown do something!!

[DaveShoelace]

Ahhhhh, which earthquake thread do I make my own?

Yep, woke me and the missus up, she panicked, I told her it was the washer dryer and told her off for wasting electricity for using the dryer.

[Karabiner]

My first floor flat in Nottingham really wobbled about for around thirty seconds.

I wondered briefly what was going on in the flat above.......

[TheChipPrince]

It'll take more than an earthquake to wake me at 1am in the morning on a weeknight...

[TightEnd]

I felt it in Bedfordshire, as I was in bed no idea what it was at the time except the bed was shaking, or my body was and I was unsure which and why!

[AndrewT]

No reports of any damage caused by the earthquake in Nottingham - it's business as usual this morning.