A strategy for a spinning head please

[Pyso]

This is starting to get to me. A few weeks ago I set up a poker night at my local pub at the bequest of the landlord who knew that I was a regular player.

It's very small stakes stuff, as it has to be by law, and predictably it has blossomed regularly into a very popular night as everyone new to the game discovers how great poker really is.

My question to fellow Blondies is this:

How the fcuk do I keep losing to them all?

Only one of them had any poker knowledge prior to me setting this all up. (He does understand the power of the raise and a little of the psycology of bluffing but he knows nothing about pot odds and outs etc. Naturally he has hit the last 47 flops so hard in the face I am surprised he hasn't been knocked out of his seat). The rest know nothing at all - so you know the scene, they limp in every time, never raise, always call a bet no matter what and will show down Jack high thinking, praying, hoping, expecting it to be the best hand...

I am regularly running through hands with them all and explaining strategy, the power of position, why to bet and when no to, pot odds and how you need four to one for a one card flush etc etc

So why is it impossible to beat them?!!!! Aaaaaaghhhhh!!!  They are mostly drunk, stoned or both and it makes no difference to me. Now they are all beginning to think it's a myth that I can play this game!!

Any suggestions for beating the newbies? I've tried it all; even moving all-in three times in a row pre-flop (was called by THREE players each time!!!).

I've done my bit for poker in the community and won't be bothering with it any more anymore unless anyone can come up with a witty suggestion. I know this is just a badbeat/downswing moan but seriously does anyone have a strategy for beating this type of clueless luckbox?

I'm not mad at them - I like them all, they are my friends BUT I WANT THEIR MONEY.

All £5 of it.

Thanks

Pyso

...and yes, I am also getting fed up with dealing all night!!!

[snoopy1239]

Just play strong hands and bet your hands, I can only assume you're either getting very unlucky or becoming impatient and trying to run bluffs that are destined to be called.

[Pyso]

Not really been trying to bluff as I know it won't work. Must be very unlucky then LOL

At least it's not for much money

Still, it does your head in regardless of the small amounts involved. Which is a whole new discussion...

[M3boy]

lots of cheap flops, release when u miss and bet heavy when you hit.

its the only way

[cia260895]

play them at their own game get pissed or stoned or both 

[Snatiramas]

Go and have supper at your local indian.........you won't win their £5 but you probably will not care............

Failing that you have two options. You do what M3Boy suggests perfectly sound tactically or you wait until a proportion have kicked themselves out and the blinds are bigger and you go all in on the hands that you play to scare a proportion of fish away. As every internet fish knows the dark forces of poker always favour those players who push all their chips in first.....

[rex008]

I organise a home game for 7 or 8 locals, with the same parameters - none of them play apart from these games - we even have a hand ranking sheet in case any of them wants to check whether a set beats 2 pair £5 rebuy tournament.

I just throw all normal convention out the window. Limp in every hand early on, and almost every hand later. Never raise pre (possibly with AA or KK, but that's it). If you miss the flop, check/fold. If you hit it a little, check/call. If you hit it hard, jam it. And keep your fingers crossed. Frankly, I don't really expect to win in this crapshoot, but they tend to be fun evenings

[mondatoo]

Beginners luck. I spent an hour on friday trying to teach my m8s mam how to play as 6/7 of us were playing in his and it would mean she could play.She played 3 games and won all 3 (by the way they are all donks 2 1 of them tried to tell me calling me all in wiv 43s was a good call as they were suited and wasn't having it when i tried to explain otherwise)Every game me and her were hu and she beat me everytime.Guess i must be better at teaching than playing hmm.

[Snatiramas]

Beginners luck. I spent an hour on friday trying to teach my m8s mam how to play as 6/7 of us were playing in his and it would mean she could play.She played 3 games and won all 3 (by the way they are all donks 2 1 of them tried to tell me calling me all in wiv 43s was a good call as they were suited and wasn't having it when i tried to explain otherwise)Every game me and her were hu and she beat me everytime.Guess i must be better at teaching than playing hmm.

got that t shirt

[kenjude]

As others have said, pot control is key. No point in raising pre-flop if there are people that will call with any two cards because it might be a monster after the flop.

If the players don't play in between the pub games then they have no interest in improving so you're wasting your time trying to explain to most of them why their play wasn't optimal. For them it's a fun night and "who's to say yours is the right way to play!"

Keep it cheap until you have a monster and then go hard.

[Grier78]

This just goes to show how its very hard to get an edge in a game full of beginner/bad players. One or two sat at a table get made into mincemeat very quickly, a whole table of them becomes a very tricky proposition. I spent a while playing $0.01/$0.02 with a free $10 on VC and turned into $80 by playing 80% of hands, not raising preflop, calling small bets for draws and mostly folding on the flop unless it hits me in the face in which case I will work to get value.

In a tournament however, especially with a fast blind structure this becomes very difficult as you will skim away your chips very quickly.

My advice, once you get knocked out of the tournament start a cash game and win all your money back plus interest.

[Swordpoker]

This just goes to show how its very hard to get an edge in a game full of beginner/bad players.

You gotta be kidding?!?!

[bhoywonder]

This just goes to show how its very hard to get an edge in a game full of beginner/bad players.

You gotta be kidding?!?!

well it is tough with a table of calling stations as they tend to be

from prior knowledge



personally think back to when you 1st started playing poker and get into that mindset,you know what i mean,playing every hand and calling every raise...calling your under pair to the 5 overcard board..then adapt

sit out the 1st  3 levels then start to play

[relaedgc]

Two of my friends convinced me to play one of them pub poker tournies once.

First hand I'm dealt   

I make a bet of 350 on 25-50 blinds, one caller.

Flop.       

He checks and I bet out 400 expecting a call. Call. Perfect.

Turn. 

Hrm. Two diamonds!

All in! - Call says my opponent. What does he show?   

River comes 


I'll get the drinks, then, shall I?



Honestly. They will call anything, so call away and when you miss, fold. If you hit, happy days.

[Laxie]

lots of cheap flops, release when u miss and bet heavy when you hit.

its the only way

Yep.

I just throw all normal convention out the window. Limp in every hand early on, and almost every hand later. Never raise pre (possibly with AA or KK, but that's it). If you miss the flop, check/fold. If you hit it a little, check/call. If you hit it hard, jam it. And keep your fingers crossed. Frankly, I don't really expect to win in this crapshoot, but they tend to be fun evenings

For sure.

I did the same thing in our village for a local pub owner.  It started out as a friendly €10 FO and only maybe 8 entries and has grown to a quarterly league.  €20 FO capped at 40 entries because he can't fit more in.  I've seen and heard it all and was nearly ready to give up poker because it was so frustrating. 

Any face card (not just the A) is good...regardless of kicker.  And it usually results in that person having at least 2 pair by the river.  Sigh.

Any face card is good at showdown...even if it hasn't hit.  'I had K high and thought you were at it.'  Sigh.

Any draw is good...regardless of how many cards you need to hit to fill that draw.  Runner, runner 'Happens all the time ya know.'  Sigh.

AA in mid position raises and is called by 5 8 os, flop comes flop comes 548, turn 10 - all rainbow, river blank and AA has handed over most of their chips.  '5's and 8's have been hitting all night.'  Sigh. 

'I have 2 live cards!'  (And a pact with the devil so I'll hit.)  Sigh.

See a trend yet?   

All suggestions regarding starting hands, raises and pot odds go out the window in these comps.  Just have to get in cheap for a good few flops early on and hope you hit them like a mack truck.  I stopped playing in these sorts of comps for a while because it really was getting to me.  Just clear your mind, go in with a new attitude and you should be grand.  If you can't beat them with what you know, then join them in what they're at...eventually it will pay off.  Just ask The Duke...he witnessed me playing some shocking hands (and winning) last time he was here for a visit.  lol