OMG Impending Tesco Ban !

[cia260895]

Dear Mrs. A,
 
 While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty
 Card, the Manager of our store in Greenford is considering banning you
 and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our  surveillance cameras:

1. January 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
 people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
 
 2. Febuary 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.
 
 3. Febuary 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
feminine products aisle.
 
 4. Febuary 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.
 
 5. March 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
 
 6. March 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and
told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor
gas stove.
 
 7. March 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him,
he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
 
 8. April 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
 
 9. April 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
 Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the
antidepressants were.
 
 10. May 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming
the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
 
 11. May 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look'
 using different size funnels.

 12. May 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
 'PICK  ME!' 'PICK ME!'
 
 13. May 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'
 
 And; last, but not least:
 
 14. May 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a
while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'
 
 Yours sincerely,
 
 Charles Brown
 Store Manager

[Robert HM]

rofl

[Horneris]

7 & 10 are very lol.

12 deserves love too.

[Snatiramas]

quality

[Laxie]

Potential prop bet for the boy band?  Complete all 14 tasks (before being kicked out by security) and win £10 per task?

[AndrewT]

Potential prop bet for the boy band?  Complete all 14 tasks (before being kicked out by security) and win £10 per task?

Winnah!!

[Dingdell]

Potential prop bet for the boy band?  Complete all 14 tasks (before being kicked out by security) and win £10 per task?

Winnah!!

And videod for Youtube?

[littlemissC]

Potential prop bet for the boy band?  Complete all 14 tasks (before being kicked out by security) and win £10 per task?

Winnah!!

And videod for Youtube?

lol do it obv

[Robert HM]

Potential prop bet for the boy band?  Complete all 14 tasks (before being kicked out by security) and win £10 per task?

Winnah!!

And videod for Youtube?

lol do it obv

Laxieyou're sickbut soooo right. Over to the band members to sort this out.

[JVLEGLE55]

Very good. I miight try some of those. rofl

[The_duke]

Potential prop bet for the boy band?  Complete all 14 tasks (before being kicked out by security) and win £10 per task?

If I get pictoral and video evidence I personally will put up the £140 -- PM me boys

[Redbull]

lol.

[Sunday8pm]

Prepared to do it for £250

[Sunday8pm]

Slight problem though. Already life banned from the local tesco for calling the security guard mini hitler at 3am and throwing chorizo at him whilst playing peekaboo while he was chasing me.

[Rookie (Rodney)]

Slight problem though. Already life banned from the local tesco for calling the security guard mini hitler at 3am and throwing chorizo at him whilst playing peekaboo while he was chasing me.

Tour round the country imo.