stepping down

[stoneii]

In hindsight, I should probably have got the loan out over a longer repayment period rather than choosing the maximum repayment I could afford from my disposable income rather than repaying over a longer period and giving myself a bit more cash available every month

Actually down the line with full 20/20 hindsight you'll realise the shorter repayment option was very very much more +ev.

[vegaslover]

In hindsight, I should probably have got the loan out over a longer repayment period rather than choosing the maximum repayment I could afford from my disposable income rather than repaying over a longer period and giving myself a bit more cash available every month

Actually down the line with full 20/20 hindsight you'll realise the shorter repayment option was very very much more +ev.

From a purely financial sense yes, but people tend to need more than just finances to maintain a 'life' if not a lifestyle. Most of could save thousands by using all our disposible income on mortgages for example, but would lead to a very boring life.

[Claw75]

Uh oh.  That's it, I've got myself started now. Apologies in advance (you can blame tight-lines for the inspiration ).

So this is the situation I am in now.  I am working in a place I don't just hate, going there has made me ill.  I am fine when I’m not there, but I breakdown uncontrollably as soon as I set foot in the place.   I can’t go in to too much detail on here as a lot of people know where I work, and if I was seen to be publically slating the place it could cost me my job.

To any ‘normal’ person the answer would be obvious – leave that job, find a new one.  In theory, yes, sounds easy.  In reality, not so easy.  As I said before, I’ve been working at the place since I was 19.  I joined as a secretary and worked my way up, gaining three promotions during my time there.  The job itself is not particularly challenging, and it’s well paid (changing jobs without any experience doing anything else will inevitably mean a considerable pay cut – I think it’s obvious from this thread why that just isn’t an option for me at the moment.)

A few weeks ago I sat and evaluated things and decided that I’d love to do something workwise related to poker.  It seems to make sense – here’s an area where I feel confident and happy.  If I could tie that in with my work and use it to pay the bills, happy days.  Very simplistic – far too much so obviously.  I stuck a post up on the forum asking for advice about getting into the industry – I offered to work for free for anyone who had anything available to give me something to stick on my CV.  Apart from a bit of data inputting here on blonde, nothing came up.  I took that as a knock.  I thought ‘how can i ever expect to get a paid job in this industry if people don’t even want me for free’.  I pulled myself back together and realised the opportunities out there are few and far between, if I want to do something poker-related I need to find a gap in the market and exploit it.  Problem 1 – I have zero creativity or imagination.  Problem 2 – I have zero business nous.  OK, so that’s out  of the window too now.  See how easily I give up?  What would I advise someone else in my position to do?  Approach companies directly, tell them what you can bring to them, tout yourself.  Don’t ask, don’t get.  May not get anyway, but at least you’ve tried.  There comes the next problem, I can’t sell myself – I just can’t.  At a job interview with two candidates left I may well be the best person for the job, but I’ll say I’m ‘ok’ at this or ‘average’ at that whereas the next bloke will say he’s ‘excellent’ and ‘unbeatable’.  Of course he gets the job.  I have an idea what my ideal job would be.  A teeny tiny weeny part of me actually thinks I’d be good at it too.  I’m not going to share that here as you’d all just laugh at me for having my head in the clouds.

The job situation clearly needs sorting at some point though, and I’m hoping the CBT might help me with that.

So back to the poker, a couple of days after making my decision I’m not feeling too bad about it.  I have yet to be tested though – not playing for a few days is nothing new, and as my daughter is with me for the new two weeks I wouldn’t have been going out to play anyway.  I’m going to stick to playing live once a month,  so that’s apat for August and blonde bash for September.  I get paid next week and I’m going to allow myself £50 to stick online and see if I can spin it up playing $5 sngs.  If I lose it, so be it – it’s a lot less than I have been spending on poker of late and it’s a loss I can afford.

[stoneii]

From a purely financial sense yes, but people tend to need more than just finances to maintain a 'life' if not a lifestyle. Most of could save thousands by using all our disposible income on mortgages for example, but would lead to a very boring life.

Fair do's, totally agree.  But then where possible, absorb your higher rate loans into your mortgage (although I gather claw is renting?) and pay the higher rate loan off ASAP.  This will free up the most of ones disposable monthly income.  

Personal loans are always at a much worse rate than mortgages and as such are dead money.  Necessary evil true at times, but to be offloaded as soon as possible.  If Claw does have a mortgage then I'd def look at the the numbers for a remortgage which we all are used to and comfortable paying over an extended period.  

The danger of course is always that after this gets sorted we yet again increase our outgoing rate and take out another personal loan "for that one big hit" and the cycle can spiral ever faster downward.  Been there, seen it and still wear the T-shirt

Regardless of all our 2nd hand advice, the fact that someone airs their fears on a board means to me they have the sense to manage and deal with it.  It's those of us that keep our heads firmly buried in the sand that get a rude awakening when the wheels even begin to wobble!

gl, stoneii

[ShatnerPants]

I have an idea what my ideal job would be.  A teeny tiny weeny part of me actually thinks I’d be good at it too.  I’m not going to share that here as you’d all just laugh at me for having my head in the clouds.

I don't know if you realised while you were typing this.

But this stinks of your self confessed inferiority complex.  Don't rush to post, but when you're ready, start sharing it with a few trusted people, and you'll realise that noone is laughing at you.

BTW I know you don't like the idea of microstakes internet grinding.  But if you are at home getting bored and fretting, there are worse ways to spend an hour or two ( take that from someone who is trying to spend more 'quality ' time with his mrs - whose idea of a fun evening at the moment is to watch BB and then BBLB )

Also, I don't know if this is a stupid idea. 

How about approaching a local pub with the idea of setting up a small stakes game, with a rake.  You get the rake, the pub gets all the extra income from all the booze sold from their added custom. 

You get to play.  You get some pocket money.  You get to teach the beginners, so improving your self worth.  Organising door drops will help it grow.  With growth comes more feelings of success, more self worth, etc.

Once you've got one up and running, then try it with another pub, then interpub games etc. Next year - THE WORLD !!!  MUAHAHAHAHA.

Sorry, got a little overexcited there.

[Claw75]

I have an idea what my ideal job would be.  A teeny tiny weeny part of me actually thinks I’d be good at it too.  I’m not going to share that here as you’d all just laugh at me for having my head in the clouds.

I don't know if you realised while you were typing this.

But this stinks of your self confessed inferiority complex.  Don't rush to post, but when you're ready, start sharing it with a few trusted people, and you'll realise that noone is laughing at you.

BTW I know you don't like the idea of microstakes internet grinding.  But if you are at home getting bored and fretting, there are worse ways to spend an hour or two ( take that from someone who is trying to spend more 'quality ' time with his mrs - whose idea of a fun evening at the moment is to watch BB and then BBLB )

Also, I don't know if this is a stupid idea. 

How about approaching a local pub with the idea of setting up a small stakes game, with a rake.  You get the rake, the pub gets all the extra income from all the booze sold from their added custom. 

You get to play.  You get some pocket money.  You get to teach the beginners, so improving your self worth.  Organising door drops will help it grow.  With growth comes more feelings of success, more self worth, etc.

Once you've got one up and running, then try it with another pub, then interpub games etc. Next year - THE WORLD !!!  MUAHAHAHAHA.

Sorry, got a little overexcited there.

not a stupid idea at all, but there are already poker nights in pretty much every pub round here, so I can't imagine there's any demand.

[bhoywonder]

GL claire


it seems you have lost the entertainment factor in low stakes stuff..( online )

I'm sure you remember the feeling when you 1st took up poker playing very low and discovered you had a talent...

but its the nature of the beast to try higher and higher and then boom...busto

after that it's nigh on impossible to go back to where you started and get that same buzz...this is where im at right now

im trying to get that initial buzz back,,,i withdrew a shitload of my roll 2 years ago online and just havent been able to rebuild to those lofty heights of yesteryear..and its very depressing


Im currently in the process of rebuilding a roll with no major goals except to play good poker and avoid all cash games...always my downfall..always


maybe the lay off will bring that buzz back and a more conservative approach to your roll..even thinking of a long term goal...maybe a nice withdrawal at xmas time or next summer

just my tuppence worth..but gl

[Stokes]

Uh oh.  That's it, I've got myself started now. Apologies in advance (you can blame tight-lines for the inspiration ).

So this is the situation I am in now.  I am working in a place I don't just hate, going there has made me ill.  I am fine when I’m not there, but I breakdown uncontrollably as soon as I set foot in the place.   I can’t go in to too much detail on here as a lot of people know where I work, and if I was seen to be publically slating the place it could cost me my job.

To any ‘normal’ person the answer would be obvious – leave that job, find a new one.  In theory, yes, sounds easy.  In reality, not so easy.  As I said before, I’ve been working at the place since I was 19.  I joined as a secretary and worked my way up, gaining three promotions during my time there.  The job itself is not particularly challenging, and it’s well paid (changing jobs without any experience doing anything else will inevitably mean a considerable pay cut – I think it’s obvious from this thread why that just isn’t an option for me at the moment.)

A few weeks ago I sat and evaluated things and decided that I’d love to do something workwise related to poker.  It seems to make sense – here’s an area where I feel confident and happy.  If I could tie that in with my work and use it to pay the bills, happy days.  Very simplistic – far too much so obviously.  I stuck a post up on the forum asking for advice about getting into the industry – I offered to work for free for anyone who had anything available to give me something to stick on my CV.  Apart from a bit of data inputting here on blonde, nothing came up.  I took that as a knock.  I thought ‘how can i ever expect to get a paid job in this industry if people don’t even want me for free’.  I pulled myself back together and realised the opportunities out there are few and far between, if I want to do something poker-related I need to find a gap in the market and exploit it.  Problem 1 – I have zero creativity or imagination.  Problem 2 – I have zero business nous.  OK, so that’s out  of the window too now.  See how easily I give up?  What would I advise someone else in my position to do?  Approach companies directly, tell them what you can bring to them, tout yourself.  Don’t ask, don’t get.  May not get anyway, but at least you’ve tried.  There comes the next problem, I can’t sell myself – I just can’t.  At a job interview with two candidates left I may well be the best person for the job, but I’ll say I’m ‘ok’ at this or ‘average’ at that whereas the next bloke will say he’s ‘excellent’ and ‘unbeatable’.  Of course he gets the job.  I have an idea what my ideal job would be.  A teeny tiny weeny part of me actually thinks I’d be good at it too.  I’m not going to share that here as you’d all just laugh at me for having my head in the clouds.

The job situation clearly needs sorting at some point though, and I’m hoping the CBT might help me with that.

So back to the poker, a couple of days after making my decision I’m not feeling too bad about it.  I have yet to be tested though – not playing for a few days is nothing new, and as my daughter is with me for the new two weeks I wouldn’t have been going out to play anyway.  I’m going to stick to playing live once a month,  so that’s apat for August and blonde bash for September.  I get paid next week and I’m going to allow myself £50 to stick online and see if I can spin it up playing $5 sngs.  If I lose it, so be it – it’s a lot less than I have been spending on poker of late and it’s a loss I can afford.

Hello Claire,

I've read this thread with my jaw to the floor in parts. I'm sure that, in one way or another, your story resonates with everyone who posts on here. I currently find myself in a similarly interesting (if not entirely similar) situation - which, as a lurker who knows the bare minimum of people on here, I shan't divulge publicly - however, I'm sure I can be of some assistance. I have both industry experience and, er, 'non-poker-related difficulties', so please feel free to PM me if you'd like some advice on either of them.

If not, then I simply wish you the very best in you endeavours and will sign off by thoroughly recommending the $8 20-pays-5 SNGs on Pacific, as a bit of Zen-like patience and one double up will see you in the money.

Stokes

[bone1986]

Hi Claire,

 I've not read all of this thread but I know some of the things you talk about have also affected me. I love the game and enjoy playing in good games with good players, however I have not played live since November and online since December. The reasons for this are varied but the main ones are the birth of my daughter which has meant a cut in the money coming into the house, and also the rise in the cost of living in general. I found that I could no longer justify spending money which would be useful elsewhere or my time as I mainly played MTT's on poker, I had to use a chunk of my already small bankroll to pay for necessities and tried to play at lower levels with my reduced funds, but I found the games and players to be totally frustrating. I thought about why the games were going badly for me and I realised that due to my new circumstances, and even though I had a separate bankroll I was playing with scared money, so I decided to stop playing poker and posting on blonde until things become easier for us financially, I don't know how long this will take but I will come back to the game I love and to this forum when I feel I can play my best poker.

 I would imagine that many people are in a similar postion at the moment and its nothing to be ashamed of, you must do whats best for yourself and remember the game will still be there in the future.

[PocketLady]

Claire, something you wrote in your last post really did remind me of myself last year.  I found myself a bit of a similar situation to you in that when I had to cut back on the amount I was playing poker, I thought about trying to make my money from poker in a way that didn't involve playing it.  I had found myself at a sort of crossroad in my life, not really knowing what I wanted from a career or anything.  I eventually gave up on the idea, but it was in my mind for a while.  I think eventually I realised that yes, although I love playing poker and miss it when I can't, I'm only trying to do this to fill the gap poker has left in my life, as a way to keep myself in touch with it.  It was made even worse by the fact that I now had so many close friends in the game and my boyfriend as well.  It was hard to watch them carry on around me without being able to do it myself as much as I wanted to.  I'm not saying that it isn't for everyone.  Lord knows some very sucessful businesses have been launched off of the game itself, but I realised in the end that it wasn't for me.  I just didn't want to lose poker. 

[Rupert]

tldr

BUSTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Claw75]

I'm having a really bad day today.  I'd love to offload here, but I can't as I know a certain someone will be lapping it all up and revelling in it and I don't want to give her the pleasure.  Please send happy vibes my way though x

[Dingdell]

I'm having a really bad day today.  I'd love to offload here, but I can't as I know a certain someone will be lapping it all up and revelling in it and I don't want to give her the pleasure.  Please send happy vibes my way though x

Just remember Claire that we love you and I view a certain lurker with no emotion at all apart from a rare 'what a waste of time and effort, move on' thought.

You are in a far better place than she is. Trust me - the sea of denial and hate is a nasty one, I've been there, and she still enjoys wallowing in it. Leave her to drown in it while you sun yourself by the sea of tranquility, peace and a happy future.

For the record I haven't touched drugs for a long time......I'm just high on life.....xx

[Claw75]

I wish I could take just a small pinch of your optimism Trace.  I'm really bad just now and despite having lots of loving friends and family around me I feel so alone.  I've got a million people on hand I can email, telephone, meet for a drink etc, but it's so difficult as no one else can understand or get where I'm coming from.  If I coudl just find someone to talk to that understood it would really help I think.  I'm off back to bed for now to wallow for a bit, will hopefully be brighter when I wake up.

thanks trace x

[Jon MW]

<<<happy vibes>>>