poker aids

[StuartHopkin]

Kinboshi just left my house
He gave me poker aids
GG Kin

[RioRodent]

fk poker books, most of them are tez

Drawback to this method is you end up speaking like LeKnave.

QED

[boldie]

FYP = fixed your post

Alex Martin is a member here and is god

fyp

Is this like Greek or Roman gods, as surely Patrik Antonius is god.

I dont think he's god actually, i just think he runs their home game

alexmartin: "bad week you know, huge downswing, sickest beats you can imagine, listen to this hand, can you call here? i raise utg..........

<bhudda interupts>

Buddha: "when are the girls getting here? i hope theyre not the same agency as last week, they were rough"!

jesus: "i'm gonna own you all, you know i'm balla, i kill this game, i wanna play for rolls, i'll break you all"!

<zues coughs>: "tosser!!!

jesus: "what? fckin fake god"!!

Manits: "i think that this game should be holdem only, dealers choice isnt really fair on the mortals, i only think i can see other peoples cards whereas 80% of the players actually can so can we at least stick to holdem"

Vishnu<looking dissaprovingly at Alex Martin>:" i thought he wasnt coming this week? i said i wouldnt come if he came back"

Buddha:"calm down"

Vishnu: "bollox to him, he dont shut the fuck up, gets on my nerves, as soon as he starts on tournament strategy I'm leaving"

<knock at the door, in walks 6 of the nastiest birds you've ever seen>

Allah: "oh ffs, you shouldve left the girls to me"

 

+1...you might go to hell for that post but it's the funniest thing I've read in a while

[Jon MW]

FYP = fixed your post

Alex Martin is a member here and is god

fyp

Is this like Greek or Roman gods, as surely Patrik Antonius is god.

I dont think he's god actually, i just think he runs their home game

alexmartin: "bad week you know, huge downswing, sickest beats you can imagine, listen to this hand, can you call here? i raise utg..........

<bhudda interupts>

Buddha: "when are the girls getting here? i hope theyre not the same agency as last week, they were rough"!

jesus: "i'm gonna own you all, you know i'm balla, i kill this game, i wanna play for rolls, i'll break you all"!

<zues coughs>: "tosser!!!

jesus: "what? fckin fake god"!!

Manits: "i think that this game should be holdem only, dealers choice isnt really fair on the mortals, i only think i can see other peoples cards whereas 80% of the players actually can so can we at least stick to holdem"

Vishnu<looking dissaprovingly at Alex Martin>:" i thought he wasnt coming this week? i said i wouldnt come if he came back"

Buddha:"calm down"

Vishnu: "bollox to him, he dont shut the fuck up, gets on my nerves, as soon as he starts on tournament strategy I'm leaving"

<knock at the door, in walks 6 of the nastiest birds you've ever seen>

Allah: "oh ffs, you shouldve left the girls to me"

 

+1...you might go to hell for that post but it's the funniest thing I've read in a while

But which one?

[boldie]

FYP = fixed your post

Alex Martin is a member here and is god

fyp

Is this like Greek or Roman gods, as surely Patrik Antonius is god.

I dont think he's god actually, i just think he runs their home game

alexmartin: "bad week you know, huge downswing, sickest beats you can imagine, listen to this hand, can you call here? i raise utg..........

<bhudda interupts>

Buddha: "when are the girls getting here? i hope theyre not the same agency as last week, they were rough"!

jesus: "i'm gonna own you all, you know i'm balla, i kill this game, i wanna play for rolls, i'll break you all"!

<zues coughs>: "tosser!!!

jesus: "what? fckin fake god"!!

Manits: "i think that this game should be holdem only, dealers choice isnt really fair on the mortals, i only think i can see other peoples cards whereas 80% of the players actually can so can we at least stick to holdem"

Vishnu<looking dissaprovingly at Alex Martin>:" i thought he wasnt coming this week? i said i wouldnt come if he came back"

Buddha:"calm down"

Vishnu: "bollox to him, he dont shut the fuck up, gets on my nerves, as soon as he starts on tournament strategy I'm leaving"

<knock at the door, in walks 6 of the nastiest birds you've ever seen>

Allah: "oh ffs, you shouldve left the girls to me"

 

+1...you might go to hell for that post but it's the funniest thing I've read in a while

But which one?

Was going to say "Pick one" but..seeing as Mantis can only be in one place at a time, and it's not really hell without him...I'm gonna have to let Mantis decide which is the real one

[AlexMartin]

FYP = fixed your post

Alex Martin is a member here and is god

fyp

Is this like Greek or Roman gods, as surely Patrik Antonius is god.

I dont think he's god actually, i just think he runs their home game

alexmartin: "bad week you know, huge downswing, sickest beats you can imagine, listen to this hand, can you call here? i raise utg..........

<bhudda interupts>

Buddha: "when are the girls getting here? i hope theyre not the same agency as last week, they were rough"!

jesus: "i'm gonna own you all, you know i'm balla, i kill this game, i wanna play for rolls, i'll break you all"!

<zues coughs>: "tosser!!!

jesus: "what? fckin fake god"!!

Manits: "i think that this game should be holdem only, dealers choice isnt really fair on the mortals, i only think i can see other peoples cards whereas 80% of the players actually can so can we at least stick to holdem"

Vishnu<looking dissaprovingly at Alex Martin>:" i thought he wasnt coming this week? i said i wouldnt come if he came back"

Buddha:"calm down"

Vishnu: "bollox to him, he dont shut the fuck up, gets on my nerves, as soon as he starts on tournament strategy I'm leaving"

<knock at the door, in walks 6 of the nastiest birds you've ever seen>

Allah: "oh ffs, you shouldve left the girls to me"

 

deleted, sobering up.

[bolt pp]

FYP = fixed your post

Alex Martin is a member here and is god

fyp

Is this like Greek or Roman gods, as surely Patrik Antonius is god.

I dont think he's god actually, i just think he runs their home game

alexmartin: "bad week you know, huge downswing, sickest beats you can imagine, listen to this hand, can you call here? i raise utg..........

<bhudda interupts>

Buddha: "when are the girls getting here? i hope theyre not the same agency as last week, they were rough"!

jesus: "i'm gonna own you all, you know i'm balla, i kill this game, i wanna play for rolls, i'll break you all"!

<zues coughs>: "tosser!!!

jesus: "what? fckin fake god"!!

Manits: "i think that this game should be holdem only, dealers choice isnt really fair on the mortals, i only think i can see other peoples cards whereas 80% of the players actually can so can we at least stick to holdem"

Vishnu<looking dissaprovingly at Alex Martin>:" i thought he wasnt coming this week? i said i wouldnt come if he came back"

Buddha:"calm down"

Vishnu: "bollox to him, he dont shut the fuck up, gets on my nerves, as soon as he starts on tournament strategy I'm leaving"

<knock at the door, in walks 6 of the nastiest birds you've ever seen>

Allah: "oh ffs, you shouldve left the girls to me"

 

deleted, sobering up.

did you call me a wanker?

[thetank]

I think he called jihad against you.

[bolt pp]

I think he called jihad against you.

that's alright, as long as he didnt call me a wanker

[MANTIS01]

Performing a river miracle to outdraw Moses has been the highlight of the game so far. He was well pissed off.

[Buddha]

Hi

about 3-5 years ago i was making abit of money (Tribeca) on poker but these days i find it soo much hard to win anything since tribeca got sold/merged.
Does any one think that online poker has gotten alot harder?
And does everyone use PaHUD and PT etc etc?
do u think is a huge disadvantage without them?
Maybe me moving on to american server has affected me and me playing with out these poker aids.
I also never used forums or card runners type sites.

can you please give me some advice


Many Thanks


Paul Ho

They were talking about this thread in the big game, so I thought I'd put you on the road to poker serenity before any of the others send you on the path to oblivion.

The main problem with online poker is that it is difficult avoid looking at your cards, putting yourself at an immediate disadvantage. Looking at the cards either fills you with dangerous confidence or generates feelings of low esteem.  You must be mentally balanced, so hide the cards from view with a picture of me glued to your monitor.

Your mortality is a deep cause of concern and going broke can become a rehearsal of death.  So you must emulate the great teacher Riverdave who realises that he can only find enlightenment and poker buddhahood by constant reincarnation and thus seeks every opportunity to lose all his money but becomes more powerful after every incarnation.

Many learned teachers believe that analysis strategy mathematics and multilevel thinking are important in developing a winning game.  However I believe that these will only lead to doubt and confusion.  You must clear your mind entirely and listen to the rhythm of the game.  Your goal is merely to disrupt this rhythm. 

So clear your mind of all concern and listen to their bets raises calls and folds.  When you can hear this music so clearly that you can dance, you are ready to play.

[Vishnu]

Hi

about 3-5 years ago i was making abit of money (Tribeca) on poker but these days i find it soo much hard to win anything since tribeca got sold/merged.
Does any one think that online poker has gotten alot harder?
And does everyone use PaHUD and PT etc etc?
do u think is a huge disadvantage without them?
Maybe me moving on to american server has affected me and me playing with out these poker aids.
I also never used forums or card runners type sites.

can you please give me some advice


Many Thanks


Paul Ho

They were talking about this thread in the big game, so I thought I'd put you on the road to poker serenity before any of the others send you on the path to oblivion.

The main problem with online poker is that it is difficult avoid looking at your cards, putting yourself at an immediate disadvantage. Looking at the cards either fills you with dangerous confidence or generates feelings of low esteem.  You must be mentally balanced, so hide the cards from view with a picture of me glued to your monitor.

Your mortality is a deep cause of concern and going broke can become a rehearsal of death.  So you must emulate the great teacher Riverdave who realises that he can only find enlightenment and poker buddhahood by constant reincarnation and thus seeks every opportunity to lose all his money but becomes more powerful after every incarnation.

Many learned teachers believe that analysis strategy mathematics and multilevel thinking are important in developing a winning game.  However I believe that these will only lead to doubt and confusion.  You must clear your mind entirely and listen to the rhythm of the game.  Your goal is merely to disrupt this rhythm. 

So clear your mind of all concern and listen to their bets raises calls and folds.  When you can hear this music so clearly that you can dance, you are ready to play.

bollox, you're a liar!!!

pls dont listen to what this guy says, he's not allowed back in the cash game after last week we caught him going south, thieving bastard!! tbh it all turned a bit nasy, jesus hit him with a bottle and we were all wrecked it all got a bit out of hand, i regret it now but i stamped on his head when he was down, he said he forgave us all but i wouldnt play with him again, cheating wanker!

[Buddha]

jesus hit him with a bottle

Yes that did disappoint me, although what can you expect from someone who has been a lurker for 2000 years and clearly thinks that one best selling book makes him better than everyone else.

[Vishnu]

jesus hit him with a bottle

Yes that did disappoint me, although what can you expect from someone who has been a lurker for 2000 years and clearly thinks that one best selling book makes him better than everyone else.

seriously, dont slag the guy off to me, hes my mate, you dont have the right to say that about anyone!!

what was your excuse for stealing money from the game? i may have been drunk but i remember exactly.........."listen lads, the religion is struggling, our major souce of income is generated from selling wrist bands, WRIST BANDS FFS, bunch of fucking muppets ive got working for me"!!!!

all you ever do is moan, i know you're having a hard time at the moment but seriously give your people a chance, the Chinease are gonna keep kicking you to fuck unless you let your mob have a ruck, it's not as though you're exactly against that sort of thing personally(remember the guy that worked in the kebab and they wouldnt serve you cos you was too drunk)!!

anyway we've got the Jade Emperor to fill your seet next week(Allah suggested inviting him just to piss you off)

[Buddha]

what was your excuse for stealing money from the game?

I think the hand histories clear this matter up

$∞/200-$∞/100 No limit Holdem
Dealing hand # 23456
Seat 1: Buddha ($∞)
Seat 2: Jesus ($∞)
Seat 3: Vishnu ($∞)
Seat 4: tHEhoLYgHosT ($∞)
Seat 5: Moses ($∞)
Seat 6: Ra ($∞)
tHEhoLYgHosT posts the small blind of $∞/200
Moses posts the big blind of $∞/100
The button is in seat #3
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Buddha [5s2h]
Ra folds
Buddha bets $∞ and is allin
Jesus folds
Vishnu folds
tHEhoLYgHosT folds
Ra calls $∞ and is allin
Ra shows KcKd
*** FLOP *** [ ]
 *** TURN *** [ ] [As]
*** RIVER *** [ As] []

Jesus wept

Sartre (observer) said “Mon Dieu”
 
Newton (observer )said “lol”

Vishnu said “I folded A2”

$∞/200-$∞/100 No limit Holdem
Dealing hand # 23457
Seat 1: Buddha ($∞)
Seat 2: Jesus ($∞)
Seat 3: Vishnu ($∞)
Seat 4: tHEhoLYgHosT ($∞)
Seat 5: Moses ($∞)
Seat 6: Ra ($∞)
Moses posts the small blind of $∞/200
Ra posts the big blind of $∞/100
The button is in seat #4
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Buddha [AsAc]
Buddha folds
Jesus has asked for time
Jesus said “where is the money you just won you baldy fat f*ck”
Newton (observer) said “lol infinity”
Newton (observer) said “you can’t have twice infinity or you’d have other infinities”
Jesus said “STFU you wig-wearing pillock”
Sartre said “l’infer c’est les autres”
Jesus folds
Vishnu folds
tHEhoLYgHosT folds
Ra wins $∞/200