I collected these trawling the net a while ago to use on my site and now I've saved you an hour on google. If you use them how about a link back to my site?
"You lucky river mother-F@CKER!"
" The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; happens at the poker table all the time."
"If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play."
"I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back."
"Don't challenge strong players, challenge weak ones. That's what they're there for". - John Vorhaus, author of Killer Poker.
"If you're not sure, you're probably in danger" -Salvatore Allegra
"I'd rather be lucky than good" - Lefty Gomez
"Im going to 2 out you to death"
"Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest."
Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
"Give me running 10's boy!!" Mike Laing - after CALLING 78K with 10-8 on a board of K22
"Phil Helmuth is a jack ass" - Anon
"When you're drawing dead, you always get there."
"If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand."
"If I don't make that final table, nobody's gonna remember me next year. If I do make that final table, I'm a poker legend overnight" - Dutch Boyd 2003 WSOP Main Event
"The only way to win is to play. Unfortunately, it is also the only way to lose."
"Poker: a minute to learn - a lifetime to master. Or in my case: a minute to learn - two minutes to lose" - Crutchley
"Even a blind squirrel catches the nuts sometimes." -nickylala, internet poker player.
"A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples"... -Doyle Brunson
"Hey, any two can win!" -Joe Schmoe - Noob
"If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!"
"In the poker game of life women are the rake"
"Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
"It's always good to get a nice dick-sucking before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
"Hoahulf! - Hell of a hand you lucky f******."
"Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen"
"Poker is like life, most people don't learn from their mistakes they only recognise them." C.Arel
"You can't let it get you down when somebody knocks you out of a tournament playing a hand they shouldn't have played. Without these types of players, nobody would win any amount of money, so sometimes you just have to take your medicine." - T.J. Cloutier
"If you don't play 23, you can't hit
full of
."
"No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!"
"The lucky player is usually the player that knows how much to leave to chance."
"I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television."
"Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands."
"I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it." - Gus Hansen
"The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing."
"Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."
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