Having a Bad Day??

When you think you are having a bad day, the following will make you

feel a whole lot better

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section

of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The

deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba

tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask. A post-mortem test

revealed that the man died not from burns, but from massive internal

injuries. Dental

records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set

about to determine how a fully clothed diver ended up in the middle of

a forest fire. It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man

went diving off the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire

fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, had

called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water

was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire.

You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the

Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket

300 feet in the air. Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.

Still think you're having a bad day?

A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in

the kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally

slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was

dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors. His wife,

hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and

bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called for

an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went

down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort

them to her husband. While the attendants were loading her husband,

the wife managed to right the motorcycle and push it outside. She

also quickly blotted up the spilled gasoline with some paper towels

and tossed them into the toilet. After being treated and released, the

man returned home, looked at the shattered patio door and the damage

done to his motorcycle. He went into the bathroom and consoled himself

with a cigarette while attending to his business. About to stand, he

flipped the butt between his legs. The wife, who was in the kitchen,

heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. Finding him lying on

the bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his

buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance.

The same paramedic crew was dispatched. As the paramedics carried

the man down the stairs to the ambulance they asked the wife how he

had come to burn himself. She told them. They started laughing so

hard, one slipped, the stretcher and dumping the husband out. He

fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.

Still having a bad day? Just remember, it could be worse...

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil

spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most

expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid

cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a

killer whale ate them both.

Still think you are having a bad day?

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking

frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire

running from his waist towards the electric kettle Intending to jolt

him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank

of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had

been

happily listening to his Walkman.

STILL think you're having a bad day?

Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending

pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand

pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly.

The two hopeless protesters were trampled to death.

What?! STILL having a bad day??

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter

bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting

it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

There now, feeling better???