THE NOT-MADE-FROM-WHEAT-MADE-FROM-OATS-INSTEAD-A-BIX ON TOUR 2009

[Joobie538]

NOT-MADE-FROM-WHEAT-MADE-FROM-OATS-INSTEAD-A-BIX ON TOUR 2009

April 3rd 2009 has rolled around, these 5 adventurers will be taking to the Severn Bridge and touching down in Cardiff for 1 full weekend of degenerate activities.
This will act as a group blog telling of the trials and tribulations forming the path to Cardiff for some and the struggle to get there for others.  The blog will include all shenanigans from now till the train/cars depart on Monday. Let us gogogo.

Lets meet the team:

Name - Julie Holness
Blonde Alias - Joobie538
Age - 26 3/4
Preferred Game - Badugi
Random fact - Both of her eyes are different colours.

Click to see full-size image.

Name - Claire MacGregor
Blonde Alias - Claw75
Age - 33
Preferred Game - strip yahtzee
Random fact - Toffoc makes her bi-curious

Click to see full-size image.

Name - Paul Tuff
Blonde Alias - Tuffster
Age - 29
Preferred Game - 'on the' game
Random fact - He is the only gay in the blonde village

Click to see full-size image.

Name - Jon "The British Cowboy" Woodfield
Blonde Alias - Jon MW
Age - 33
Preferred Game - anything apart from fucking razz!!
Random fact - He is the average height for a woman

Click to see full-size image.

Name - Adam Sharples
Blonde Alias - sharplea
Age - 23
Preferred Game - Fold 'Em Poker
Random fact - He must have the patience of a saint to deal with this motley crew! The permanently sober one.

[TheChipPrince]

How about ''Puppies Dog Tails''...  GL!

[Tuffster]

Night 1,

Toffoc Count - 6
Maccy D's Count - 5
Hands Played - 10 (and Claw's up a few mad dimez)

Picked up JonMW and Claw from the train station and straight to the Harbourside Casino.

Names on the list for the cash games, Claw playing in the high-rollers league and the rest of us lol Bingoments level.

Claw sits down with her dimez from the 3-card-poker table after picking up AAx 2nd hand MBSFN and proceeds to lose the will to carry on. With the waiting list for the smaller game looking longer than Flushy and Channings stakee list, we give up and head off with a mad craving for Maccy D's.

Joobie's "driving" is very much like that of Lewis Hamilton's with his current lemon, so fun to be had by all (with the addition of several extra seat belts.)

With music blaring out at a level to drown out even the most hardcore of Boy Racers from Southend we arrive at Maccy D's. However, with this being the car of Julie "ADD" Holness, the music is an eclectic mix of German Rock Dance music and "Superman" and "Music Man".

We have officially found the slowest drive-thru in Maccy D's history, taking over 30 mins to order, pay and collect our food (kindly staked by dimez winner Claw wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii). So with nothing better to do, Joobie whacks the volume up to monumental levels and we all start doing the dance moves (except for an exceedingly embarrassed JonMW).

Home for Maccy D's more toffoc and a discussion about tits and asses and the state of Claw's new PJ's with the plunging neck-line and we are well on our way to passing out in preparation for tomorrow.

Joobie, Sharplea, Claw, JonMW and Tuffster

[Laxie]

At least they served you at that Mc D's!!! Have fun kidz!

[Joobie538]

Waiting for someone to cook me my fry up....................................

[Claw75]

here's one for the lads.  Joobs was just looking around for her flip flops to go out to feed her rabbit.  No joy, so she stuck on the nearest footwear she could find, which happened to be thigh-high PVC boots.  Enjoy!

Click to see full-size image.

[TheChipPrince]

Joobs was just looking around for her flip flops to go out to feed her rabbit

 

[nirvana]

here's one for the lads.  Joobs was just looking around for her flip flops to go out to feed her rabbit.  No joy, so she stuck on the nearest footwear she could find, which happened to be thigh-high PVC boots.  Enjoy!

Click to see full-size image.

Thanks Claire, that is all

[barhell]

Perv's the lot of you.

P.S. i have a techie question how do you set pictures as desktop wallpaper?

[Joobie538]

Day 2 had one simple theme to it. EPIC FAIL.

EPIC FAIL 1: Breakfast.
EPIC FAIL 2: The actual playing of the poker.
EPIC FAIL 3: Joobie "helping" Des
EPIC FAIL 4: Bowling.

The day had started off well (see above for pics of rabbits, PVC and DD's) until the motley crew of chefs that were Joobie, Tuffster and Jon MW decided to "cook" breakfast. Somehow, it took 45 minutes to cook a fry-up and this involved near total loss of Mushrooms, misplacement of Sausages and rather well-done Bacon. It took longer to cook the breakfast than it did for the tour members (minus a visibly ill sharplea) to eat it.

The team then piled into the car and proceeded forcewith to the local Morrisons to fill the car up and pick up the fuel cap that Joobie managed to leave there yesterday, impressive. By now, it is 1pm and Claw is wanting to get to the bar whereas sharplea just wants to get there. Joobie then proceeded to drive at Mach 1.5 and we were there by 1.50pm, managing to drive past the casino front door with Joobie, Tuffster and Claw singing (and dancing) very very loudly to "Music Man" by Agadoo. Jon MW and sharplea have never felt so embarrassed in their lives.

The less said about the actual poker playing, the better. By break 1, Joobie and Tuffster had donked off half their starting stack, with sharplea grinding it out at exactly average whilst Claw and Jon MW were doing a little bit better (expected). Tuffster busted soon after losing most of his chips with K-Q vs 10-10, we race bad. The rest of the team made it to the dinner break, where we all found that the food was shit. Joobie busted about 5 hands into the second session with a very poorly played A-Q, letting her opponent hit trip 9's on the turn. Jon MW ran his A-Q into fellow Blonde AndrewT's 10-10 on a Q-10-x flop and this left Claw (on 25k) and sharplea to carry the pressure of the team's hopes and dreams. Claw found the pressure too much (she fell unluckily) and sharplea decided to take a leaf out of Julian Thew's book, yo-yoing from 20k to 7k, then 14k to 1200, then 4k and eventually busted in horrible circumstances when he shoved A-A UTG short and ran into Turny's J-9, which straightened up on the turn, and the whole team was out by 10.15pm. Ouch.

This left a very frustrated team with nothing to do as there were no cash games, no Tighty SNG's and we couldn't even go down to Bristol to play cash as their waiting list was massive, leading to a situation where Joobie commandeered Des Duffy's laptop to show the man the game of Clusterz, but she got distracted by Sky Poker which led to a complete and utter total laptop failure, resulting in a full restart and delays to the updating whilst Joobie hid behind a chair when Des returned!! Claw then had an epic brainwave which consisted of the whole team plus recent addition AndrewT to head next door where there was a bowling alley. After 10 minutes of arguments over who would find out the opening times, sharplea was dispatched to phone them (laziness FTW) and was informed by a lovely automated voice that they were open until 1am. We all headed next door only to find out that they actually closed at 12midnight, and as it was 11.40pm there was no chance we could get a game! We headed into the arcade area where Claw showed her lack of ability at Superbikes, Joobie won at Dance Dance Revolution and sharplea pwned Tuffster and Jon MW at pool. AndrewT disappeared for 2 minutes and reappeared with an ice-cream of all things at midnight! Hollywood Bowl kicked all us out soon after and we headed to the casino, where the mutual decision was made to return home.

Joobie managed to get us home in one piece, quicker than we actually got there! The rest of us are still trying to work out how.

[Tuffster]

Epic Fail 1

Breakfast

This is the breakfast as it was served



Which was cosmetically okay - until Claw pointed out there were no sausages!!!!!!!

To the great relief of all concerned, the sausages had actually been cooked and weren't hiding in the freezer.
Joobie had just forgotten to take them out of the grill and put them on the plate.

This was the 'corrected' breakfast - with the forgotten sausages.



Despite such a farcical fail in presentation the actual breakfast wasn't lacking in content
Fry Up Ingredients
Eggs
Bacon
Sausages (eventually)
Mushrooms
Beans
Black Pudding
Hash Browns
and Fried Bread

So, alls well that ends well.
Obv.

[Jon MW]

Epic Fail 2

Poker

"Highlights" from the Cardiff Tournament (courtesy of the APAT live update)

Day 1, 5.30 pm
Claire MacGregor 23,500
Adam Sharples 11k

Day 1, 6.01 pm
Paul Tuff 9,000
Andrew Tracey 18,000, Jon MW 16,000 sat close together

From AndrewT
Has to be stealth posting from me today - TD has already told me I can't use the.phone at the table at all. I can reveal JonMW is a lucky fish though.

[   ]  Lie

6.40 pm
Paul Tuff is OUT

[ x ] Fish

Dinner Break
Jon MW - Folds KQ to get near the front of the buffet queue
Tuffster - May have actually busted out deliberately to ensure the same result
The rest - fail to comprehend, that at this point, positional play means what you position you get in the queue

8.36pm
Andrew Tracey and Jon MW played out a 35,000 pot

Jon raised on the button with AQ off, Andrew flat called in the bb with 10 10 and c/raised all in on a Q 10 7 flop two diamonds

Jon looked sick, but made the call, but no miracle came

[ x ] Really unlucky
 

{Although, slight correction to the reporting. I was the bb and check raised post flop - AndrewT then reraised me all in.}

8.36 pm
Claire MacGregor 22,000

Julie "I'll have a DD please Bob" Holness is OUT

[ x ] Fish

8.59
Claire MacGregor 18,000

9.08 pm
Adam Sharples doubles up to 21,900. He has a beard, which frankly, does not suit him. I didn't think he was old enough to shave so his appearance looking like the lovechild of King Edward VIII (Contemporary reference there) came as a shock earlier

9.54 pm
Claire MacGregor out!

A9 hearts raises in LP

SB calls

Ace high flop

check, bet, call

turn K

check, push, call all in with AQ

[ x ] Fish

This meant all our hopes now rested with Sharplea

[   ] We were confident
[ x ] FOL

10.11pm
Adam Sharples 7k

10.16 pm
Adam Sharples OUT with AA versus Paul Turnstill's J9. Sharples was short, but Turnstill is running like a particularly windy fellow

[ x ] Fish


And so in a house of 5 poker players
4 made it to the Dinner Break
0 made it to Day 2

[   ]  Good Result

[thetank]

Great stuff.

Hopefully you'll have a better day today, without all that pesky poker getting in the way

[Joobie538]

Great stuff.

Hopefully you'll have a better day today, without all that pesky poker getting in the way

Don't be silly!!!

Online poker FTMFW today. We've already set up a desktop computer downstairs as we have 4 laptops and 5 players.

[Claw75]

Great stuff.

Hopefully you'll have a better day today, without all that pesky poker getting in the way

Don't be silly!!!

Online poker FTMFW today. We've already set up a desktop computer downstairs as we have 4 laptops and 5 players.

I've just qualified for the sunday warm up and the nits are queuing up to get me to qualify for them too

[ ] I can be arsed playing anymore $1 turbo rebuy sats