Tourist complaints

[henrik777]

20 Ridiculous genuine complaints:

1. A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate".

2. A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she’d been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the “do not disturb” sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.

3. "The beach was too sandy."

4. A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.

5. "Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."

6. "We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake."

7. "No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."

8. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home."

9. "My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

10. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller."

11. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?"

12. "There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners."

13. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."

14. "We had to queue outside with no air conditioning."

15. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

16. "I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite."

17. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

18. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned."

19. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."

20. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels."

Sandy

[Claw75]

lol - don't know why, but I think 17 is my favourite!

[Alverton]

LOL

I like number 9.

[MC]

LOL

Fav = 11 I think

[Tractor]

LOL

Fav = 11 I think

+1 lol

[The_nun]

I remember something similar a few years back from the council complaint lists.


> My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing on it.
>
> He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take anymore.
>
> It's the dogs mess I find hard to swallow.
>
> I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
>
> I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
>
> And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
>
> I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was the bad wind the other night that blew them off.
>
> My lavatory seat is cracked where do I stand?
>
> I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
>
> Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
>
> I request to remove my drawers in my kitchen.
>
> 50% off the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and50% are plain filthy.
>
> I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
>
> The toilet is blocked and we can not bath the children.
>
> Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.
>
> Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
>
> I want to complain about the farmer across the road every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it,s now getting too much for me.
>
> The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
>
> Our kitchen floor is damp. We have 2 children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.
>
> I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
>
> Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
>
> I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but i still have had no satisfaction. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.

[Bainn]

17. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

Totally agree.