The first thing you all need to know is that im not copying Ben "RookieITB" Turnstill's idea with this thread. The idea of putting up a staking thread for the golf tour belongs to James "Flushy" Dempsey. Further to this, "RookieITB" promised last night that he would wait till after i had posted my thread to post his own because Flushys initial suggestion was that i put the thread up. Despite this, after much soul searching i now hold no animosity towards "RookieITB" and i hope we both sell out our quota as calling us both 28 handicappers is literally absurd, we are like the Ian Poulter (Rooks) and Paul Casey (myself) of Shrewdie golf.
Anyway, this is your chance to back the best handicapped player on the golfing tour known as
"The Shrewdies do La Finca 2010"The Shrewdies do La Finca is on March 8th - 14th.
The Rules & Handicaps of The TourWe will be playing Stableford rules on this tour. 18 holes for 5 days straight. We all play off our handicaps (6 of us), and the winner of each indiviual round will lose 2 shots on next round, 2nd place will lose 1 shot, the middle two scorers will stay the same, 5th will gain one shot, with 6th gaining 2 shots in the next round.
There is also another rule which is that "best dressed gets one extra shot for the next round".
We will be playing €5 for each of the following.. front nine, back nine, overall and par 3's. There are 4 par 3's on the course.
This is a potential loss of €175 over the course of the week.Tour Handicaps:Dave 'Pierre' Jones
(16)Thomas 'Mcdonalds' Middleton
(17)James 'Flushy' Dempsey
(19)Brent 'The Horn' Horner
(28)Ben 'RookieITB' Turnstill
(28)Dave 'Dubya' Shallow
(tbc)My ProposalI have decided to sell 100% of my action for this tour at the extremly fair price of 1.1. This Tour to me is all about having fun and playing winning golf. Some people like to gamble when playing and watching sport but being a religious man i have never gambled in my life and dont intend to start now. However you can be under no illusions that because i cant win any money from this i wont be giving 100%. I am extremly competetive and am desperate to win to get one over on my friends. You will see more detail in the next section as to why this is a price not to be missed.
This works out at €175 in total. 175 x 1.1 = €192.50. I AM NOT PROFITING FROM THIS. The €17.50 i hope to make from this staking i plan to use to spend on golf balls and tees for the tour.
5% = €9.62 or £8.43 or $13
10% = €19.25 or £16.85 or $26
20% = €38.50 or £33.70 or $52
Why should you buy a piece of my action?I have a cunning plan. I plan to play really badly for the first 2 days thereby picking up 4 shots on the field. Despite playing awful golf i plan to try my very best on the Par 3 holes thereby keeping us at break even or in small profit, whilst shooting 10s on the par 4 and 5's, thereby locking up an extra 4 shots for the latter 3 days. We will then be shooting off a handicap mark of (32).
Given the fact that if i played regular golf and utilsed my talent fully i would probably be around a (22) handicapper and on this tour i am playing regular golf and by day 3 things will have started to click, this will mean i am basically getting 10 extra shots on Round 3 to what my ability merits. lol, laughable. Of course i will cruise through Round 3, and i will still be playing off (30)! on day 4. I will again absolutely cruise through Round 4, winning us mad dimes along the way. And the best bit about all of this is that i will still be playing off (28) on the final day!!! So obviously i will sweep up all the cash yet again, meaning we have broken even on days 1 & 2 and made mad mad profit on days 3, 4 & 5.
Other reasons to buy a piece of my action:SPANISH LANGUAGE. I plan to write to my hero Rafael Nadal prior to the tour to pick up some hints and tips on the Spanish Language.
ANTONY. I once had a golf lesson at Garthorth Golf club where a great coach named Antony taught me how to play golf. He was a fantastic teacher and the inspiration behind my golfing career.
PICS/REPORTS. Although i can't compete with RookieITB on the best dressed front (hes spent £1,100 on clothes!!!) i will post daily reports & pictures on this thread so all my investors can follow my progress and see that my cunning plan is working. (This relies on me finding a working internet connection but i dont envisage this being a problem)
FORM. When i played with my Dad and friends in Florida 08 (pics to follow) i was awful for the first couple of rounds but ended up winning the tournament on the final day! for a return of $40.
ALCOHOL. This will not suprise you if you have read my cunning plan but i plan to get absolutely blotted on Days 1 & 2 and have a great time, but after that i will be getting down to business and drinking very modestly on days 3, 4 & 5. By the start of day 3 i will have already sealed my reputation as a big big drinker so there will be no pressure on me on the last 3 days. I have planned all of this down to the finest detail.
Some Pictures of me playing the game i love.There may be a storm brewing but all i'm thinking about is whether or not my hair will get wet the next hole. Click to see full-size image. |
A picture of me teeing off mid-swing: Click to see full-size image. |
Me admiring my 250 yard drive (notice the tee mid-air (not a plaster on my leg), classic sign of a great golf shot):
Click to see full-size image. |
SOLD30% to Maldini32 (via msn) ballin! - PAIIIIIIIIIIIIIID
10% to Sledge13 (via msn) - PAIIIIIIIIIIIIIID
20% to LUFC_BAS (via msn) - PAIIIIIIIIIIIIIID
10% to Creepy_benji - PAIIIIIIIIIIIIIID
9% to Blatch - PAIIIIIIIIIIIIIID
1% to ChipRich - PAIIIIIIIIIIIIIID
10% to Pleno1 - PAIIIIIIIIIIIIIID
10% to Stuart Hopkin - PAIIIIIIIIIIIIIID