cosmic game show ....bigger than bb

clearly now that big brother is off our screens at last, its up to someone such as a poker player to come up wth a new exciting gameshow for the masses to goggle at because they are too ignorant to learn how to play poker. Possibly one of the girls from Luton will want to be the new Davina. (will look on e-bay for low cost casting couch)
The new gameshow will be split into three areas, the first area will see 32 wannabe contestants (the demographics of these people should be rejects from the "The Jeremy Kyle Show" ) , not the ones that wait until the bouncer is there to stop them kicking off! as they are clearly mummies boys......
Also politicians who are trying to rebuild their in touch with the people in the street image, when all they really want to be in touch with is loads of blank expenses claim forms.
The final demographic group will be posh skanks that want to be a "Celeb" but can't actually sing/dance/juggle or otherwise be entertaining, a large glut of these can probably be found hanging around any show biz agencies lobby?
Game one: .....Speed
32 contestants in groups of four are in a race, the starting positions are pointing North, South, West and East. The race track is material equivalent to the striking surface of a box of matches, they will be wearing a "Shell Suit" (advertising logo's by arrangement.....), the boots of the shell suits will be material same as Red Matches, if the contestant walks the 50 Metre track VERY SLOWLY the boots MAY not ignite on the track surface but the bottles of petrol attached to their waist (wth a slow drip release valve) will ensure serious burning, also the rabid