If Carlsberg did weddings... (yet another blog) **TRIP REPORT FINALLY COMPLETE**

[TightEnd]

I hated Hash House a go-go

Really overly rich food, ridiculous portions, surly waiting staff, overpriced


That aside, enjoying these write ups!

[Laxie]

I hated Hash House a go-go

Really overly rich food, ridiculous portions, surly waiting staff, overpriced


That aside, enjoying these write ups!

Agree about Hash House.  Never again.  Makes Nando's look good ffs!

[Delboy]

I hated Hash House a go-go

Really overly rich food, ridiculous portions, surly waiting staff, overpriced


That aside, enjoying these write ups!

Agree about Hash House.  Never again.  Makes Nando's look good ffs!

+1 They also seemed to have cornered the America's supply of fresh Rosemary for their redic garnish on everything!

[KarmaDope]

Day 3 – Friday 18th November 2011 aka “I’M THE STAGGGGGGGGG” day!

Once again we wake up, look at the clock, and groan.

It’s 5.30am. FML!

Just laze about in bed for a couple of hours before deciding to go find breakfast. Denny’s was NOT an option so we decide to go for a breakfast buffet. Phone Jon MW and round the Cowboy up before heading over to try the buffet at Cosmopolitan. Hit the Cosmo only to decide that it is way too expensive there.

Whilst at Cosmo I remember that my Dad landed the day before and he is staying in Cosmo so a quick call to Cosmo reception and we get put through to his room. He answers (which means he actually landed, awesome) and we arrange buffet breakfast for the 5 of us at Planet Hollywood. Sort out times and all the important stuff, and the three of us head over to PHo, albeit getting slightly lost on the way there.

Head over to PHo and Dad has not yet arrived with his fiancée, Maria, so we decide to play a few machines which give us a view of the entrance to the buffet. 45 minutes later…we’re still waiting. I spot him FINALLY and it turned out he’d managed to sneak past us and was downstairs waiting in the buffet. Oops. Head into the buffet and it was the first time any of us (well, except MW but he doesn’t count) had seen a buffet. All I have to say is…HOLY. SHIT. This place had everything, and everything was gorgeous. Nicest breakfast I’d ever had, up to that point anyway. Then I discovered that Americans have Corned Beef Hash for breakfast. *drools*

After completely stuffing our faces to the point of not wanting to move, we eventually dragged our asses out of PHo. Dad and Maria head off to take photos (they are keen amateur photographers) and we headed off to Harrah’s to meet up with the gang. Sit chatting there for a bit whilst some played poker, others played slots…just chilling out really. Tighty appeared for the first time and regaled us of his “fun” with the hooker (see http://www.apat.com/forum/index.php?topic=10018.msg163128#msg163128 for the full details!) whilst Ger Jnr won a quick $300 on a slot machine. Joobs disappeared to Laxie’s room as Laxie wanted to practice on her hair before the wedding. It got to about 1pm and both Ger’s headed off to Caesars to check on Paul Mac. MW and I joined them but when we got to Caesars we couldn’t find Paul, although having just checked with Ger, we didn’t find him because he didn’t actually play!

The Smyth’s then headed off to Monte Carlo to make an early start on the combined Stag/21st party, but MW and I decided to head back to Bally’s for cash. That’s actual cash, not poker. Whilst in Vegas I literally had the attention span of a gnat and I had noticed an advert for Circus Circus. Now I was under the impression that Slots-o-Fun had a cheap Craps table and fancied throwing some dice so we headed up there. Biggest mistake of the trip. Forgot to stop off for water so we were drinkless, then we managed to get on the wrong bus! We got on the express instead of the one that stops at every stop, so we had to get off at the Stratosphere. For some really weird reason, my nose started bleeding as well on the bus, a warning I really should have heeded.

Managed to stop the bleeding and we walked from the Strat to Circus Circus. OMG that walk took forever, and it was the hottest day in November I’d ever felt! God knows how MW dealt with it in a black leather jacket ffs. Arrive at Circus Circus 45 minutes later and nearly pass out. We sign up for their Players Club and spend $30 to get $45 in promo chips, before taking them to the Blackjack table. MW goes on an awesome run and eventually cashes out $120 richer. I manage to win a small amount (about $40) and we cash out. Head upstairs and find one of these!



I’ll let Joobs explain that.

Head over to Slots-o-Fun to find out that they didn’t have their Craps table anymore so we play a few slots, where luckbox wins a load again and I do all my winnings. Head out of the casino and just miss a bus so decide to go to Riviera to check it out. Wow, this place just seemed OLD. It was a very tired looking casino and really needs a refurb. Check out their Poker Room and they have the only $3-$6 LIMIT Omaha game I’ve ever seen. Tempted to play but then my stomach starts cramping and rumbling ominously.

Uh-oh.

Decide to head back to Bally’s as I’m pretty tired and feeling slightly sick. Start feeling really nauseous on the bus but manage to get back to Bally’s ok. Make it up to my room and pass out in bed at 4pm, thankfully without being sick. Wake up at 7pm to knocking on the door. It’s MW checking up on me as it’s the stag night. Get out of bed to answer the door and nearly fall over with dizziness. OK, what the hell is wrong with me? MW leaves after taking one look at me and realising I’m not headed anywhere, and I just slump against the back of the door. Sitting down lets me feel better so I crawl over to the bed and get back in.

The air conditioning is on and I’m lying in bed with my clothes on, shivering yet sweating my balls off. Get really nauseous so take some tablets to relieve that and drift in and out of sleep til Joobs rolls back in at 2am. Sure could get to sleep for ages after that and it’s about 4am before I pass out.

Now that’s not all for this day, Joobs is going to make a guest appearance in the report and supply the bit I missed, otherwise known as “The Stag Do that the Stag did not attend…”

[KarmaDope]

Day 4 – Saturday 19th November 2011 aka APAT Day

Manage to get some sleep but still wake up pretty damn early. Sadly still feeling like complete donkey **** so I decide I’m just gonna stay in the room. Joobs heads out for breakfast and in the process of doing so, she meets up with Jon MW and then my mother. They decide to partake of the buffet at Harrah’s before heading over to Caesars to buy in for the APAT tournament before heading up the Stratosphere. To this day, I have no idea how they managed to do this, as my mum is completely and utterly scared of heights and swore blind that she would not be going up there. Well, she did, and here’s the immortal picture to prove it:

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2 hours later they left the Strat and headed up to the Chapel as when we went on Thursday, we’d forgotten to take the CD with the actual wedding music on. Oops. The Strat was only a few minutes’ walk (and yes, it was actually a few minutes despite being Vegas!) so they hoofed it up the strip, dropped off the CD and jumped on the Deuce back to Caesars. Unfortunately for Joobs and MW, we were in Level 3 by then and their stacks had dwindled!

In the meantime, I headed over to Caesars and bought myself in before the start. Found myself in seat 1 and was inwardly groaning. Had a few APAT players on my table – notably Tod Wood decked out in all his BCPC gear, Sharon Roberts and Neil Dawson. I knew Neil from the forum but had never met him in person and will finally admit that it took me 2 levels to work out who he was, sorry Neil!

I spent most of the day grinding, no real big hands that I can think of. Our table was broken pretty quickly and I find myself sat to the right of Stuart Oliver, with the Stockton Cock to his left, Don Logan 2 to the Cock’s left and to my right, the chip leader Robert McMillan and David Marr who were both loud Americans. I double up through Marr after calling his raise IP with T-8cc (learning from Toby Lewis obv) and eventually turning a full house, only to see him shove into me with his rivered straight. Easy game.

Joobs eventually joins us and she quickly gets moved to table Laxie. God help us all. Hilarity ensued on what was quickly becoming the non-serious table of the tournament. Even the Americans were looking at them and thinking WTF? Some of the hilarity involved:

• The word “BOOBAGE”
  
• Joobs almost getting a penalty for speaking German. To the only German at the table. After being told it was ok, as long as they were all from the same group!
  
• Classic Joobie-Laxie hands, of which one involved betting blind then dealing the river blind (and still betting blind) only for Laxie to win that one by hitting the river!
  
• Joobs’ mum and step-dad arriving in Vegas and joining us, only for Joobs to get told off as her mum was sat behind her!
  
• Joobie eventually busting to Laxie for a 60k pot at 200-400 with A-K vs K-K. Her reason? “Couldn’t care less, my mother’s arrived!”

During one of the breaks, we had a slight bit of drama when I get a phone call. From England. Well, more to the point, Julie’s father. He had some bad news, his flight had been cancelled due to a technical problem, and now he wasn’t sure if he was going to make the wedding.

********.

I head back to the tables whilst Joobs spends some time with her family before they crash early (they had only just landed and were knackered) which mainly consisted of Dawn (Julie’s mum, not Laxie) being carried around the card room, in some cases literally, being introduced to everyone.  Whilst this is happening, I double through the Stockton Cock in a 70k pot when I raise K-J and flop Q-T-9 against Stu’s A-Q and knock out a short stacked Matt Bailie with 2-2 holding against his K-Q. Table breaks and I lose a few hands being a bit too aggressive and drift down to 50k. I then raise J9ss from the hijack and get one caller on the button in Tod Wood. Flop is J-5-7r and Tod calls my c-bet. We both check the turn and I then back into the flush with the river. I check and Tod bets 8k. I make it 22k and Tod has to call with his set. Nice pot shipped my way and I bag up 84.1k at the end of the day.

My first ever Day 2 at an APAT and what a time to do it! I’m 6/15 but it’s that tight, I’ve only got 9.5k less than the chip leader. Joobs had been railing me through the day and we decided an early night was a plan and headed straight back to Bally’s for sleep, as we had to check out the next morning and head to the Vdara.

[The_nun]

What took ya...Great Honeymoon I suppose. x

[pleno1]

moreeeeeeeeee

[KarmaDope]

.

[KarmaDope]

It is done.

Now it just has to pass the editor. In the meantime, anyone want to hazard a guess at how long it is in number of words?

[Laxie]

   You've been married nearly A YEAR now and we're still waiting on the trip report from the wedding.  Ironside - BAN HIM!!!

[smashedagain]

Don't ban him now. I have been waiting a year to hear about the consummating the marriage.

[KarmaDope]

Day 5 - Sunday 20th November 2011 aka Holy Fuck I’m getting married tomorrow! Day

It’s another day in Vegas only this time we wake up to 3 bits of good news.

• Leaving Bally’s!
• I’m feeling a lot better!
• Julie’s dad is on his way!

It was a good thing that I was feeling better as we had to be at Caesars Palace for 1pm to play poker. Needless to say we had a hell of a lot to do. Started off by packing up the room and realising exactly why it is never a good idea to completely unpack one’s suitcase! By the time this was done, it was late enough to make some phone calls which resulted in us walking over to Harrah’s to meet my mother and mother-in-law to be, along with Julie’s step-dad, for the Harrah’s Breakfast Buffet.  The older people in our group loved it but it wasn’t that great (it was good, don’t get me wrong) compared to the Planet Hollywood one. (DISCLAIMER: This may have something to do with me being ill the day before...)  I did manage to sneak in some quick VP whilst waiting and hit a 40AK for the first time ever. And promptly forgot to take a picture of it.

We finish up there and the adults wander off to gamble/take in the sights (all Vegas Virgins lol) whilst we try to locate Jaxie to recover the (thankfully vomit free) wedding dress – who the fuck thought it was a good idea to leave it with those two ffs? Sadly the dress is still REALLY creased so it's back to Bally’s as it’s about 10.30am and we need to check out and head over to Vdara so we decide to worry about it once we're there. So we grab our gear, check out easy and cab it over to Vdara, with Joobs starting to fret! Despite it being 11am we were able to check in and get settled. Joobs didn't like the idea of leaving her dress with anyone but we just didn't have the time to go and wait at a cleaners, so after some negotiating and slight threatening. the dress was left with a very nervous looking concierge before we headed over to Caesars for the most important part of the day. The poker.

Head over there and meet up with everyone before we get started. We decide that as the final table is 10, and officially 9 are paid, to take a chunk from the top couple of positions and give the 10th place man $200 so that everyone who makes the FT gets paid. And we start. I lose a few chips check-raising the Stockton Cock with complete air (6-6 on a J-3-7r board), only for him to shove and me to pass. I gain a lot of them back by exploiting the tightness of the table and simply opening most hands folded to me. Then I get what I think is going to be the perfect moment. I look down UTG and find Dem Aces (Ah ). Decide that hopefully my image will get me paid off and make my usual 2.5x raise (4500 at 1k/2k). Folds to MickyP in the BB and he calls. Flop is and Micky leads for about 6k. I make it 20-odd and Micky shoves. I call and Micky has , one of the worst hands I want to see. Until the Ace of Spades hits the turn. Now all I need is a black card. Any black card. Win this hand and I think I have a perfect shot of winning the tournament. Just a fecking...

.

You have to be kidding me.

Micky has 50k behind on the flop and I’m pretty decimated . Go through the blinds and antes and dribble down to 24k before finding 8-8. Shove and get called by K-10cc of Tod Wood. I win the race and start to believe again! The blinds go up and a couple of rounds later I’m pretty short, but we keep losing the odd player and it’s suddenly bubble time. I have 8xBB and am about to go through the blinds again as we are 5 handed. I look at my first card, an Ace, and shove. Brian Harland reshoves behind with what turns out to be 7-7. He turns a full house and I bubble. I hate bubbling at the best of times, but here? I was in pieces inside. It was the first APAT event I’d actually felt good about myself, the one I’d actually thought I had a chance in, and I bubbled. Stuck around for the start of the FT but just had to get out of there and went to wander around Caesars. I couldn’t even muster up the energy to play slots or make some sports bets.

Eventually got my head sorted and went back to find everyone. Watched Micky take it down (at least he used my chips well) then went back to Vdara to check on the dress (yes it was there and crease free; the guy got a hug and a ridiculously large tip from Joobs) and we headed to find food. I say “headed”, we’d arranged to have a family meal at the Harley Davidson Cafe at Planet Hollywood. Julie’s dad had made it to Vegas finally, but even though he had been here twice before he neglected to notice the giant hotel Planet Hollywood, and instead went to the Planet Hollywood café in Caesars. By the time we got hold of him it was late so he ate there, so we gave him the chapel details and hoped he would make it there. So my Mum, Dad, and my Dad's partner Maria joined us for what turned out to be an awesome meal, especially with the Harley Davidson motorcycles on a carousel over your head!  This was also the meal where Julie discovered what she now calls the best Vegas food ever.

SLIDERS.

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Leave Harley Davidson and walk up to Harrah’s chatting with the families for a bit before they head off to bed and we take a nice, relaxing walk back to Vdara. After all, it’s not like tomorrow’s going to be nice and quiet now, is it?

[redsimon]

PH buffet definitely beats Harrah's. I might excuse Julie's dad as PH used to Alladin he might not have known it had changed? and PH cafe in Caesar's been there a long time

[celtic]

Is that it? We waited a year for a bad beat story and a load of fkin tiny burgers?

Next one better be good, AMD before September 2013 please. Thanks.

[KarmaDope]

Day 6 – Monday 21st November 2011 aka Wedding Day

Wake up to the realisation that today is the most important day of my life. Oh yeah, and I'm getting married in 4 hours! Had worse views to wake up to:

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And when I glance to the right...

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OMG, I'm getting married in 4 hours. And Joobs has to get ready!! Needless to say I was unceremoniously ejected from the suite, holding a suit, a wallet and my shoes. Take a quick walk to my father's room in Cosmopolitan where he has kindly ordered a rather large amount of room service breakfast, of which I managed to eat 2 slices of toast. And a banana. Go me! Surprisingly enough I really wasn't as nervous as I thought I was going to be, chilled out for a bit then started to get ready at 9am (Wedding was at 11am) and was downstairs having my last bet as a single man at 10am.

[   ] I won.

Joobs had a bit more fun getting ready, in her own words:

Laxie and my Mum rock up shortly after Adam leaves, ladened with food, bubbly and spare make-up etc just in case. The make-up artist arrives shortly after at 8am (an hour early) and thank god she did because making my hair curly took AGES!! Thank god I was calm and relaxed because my morning visitors were no help!

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Dawn was shouting at the hotel staff as we had no crockery or glasses in the room, 6 phone calls and a near kidnapping of a maid later they arrive. And my mother...well she was all excited and nervous... a bad combination!! This resulted in her getting physically picked up and moved by Dawn more than once (“Mom, MOVE!!”) as my dearest mother is left with her feet dangling in the air being transported out of the way.  When Mother-in-law to be arrives it gets worse, she heads straight for the sticky buns and Dawn has to rugby tackle her into the bathroom before she goes anywhere near the dress!

Somehow I’m still chilled and we make it with seconds to spare, and even though my dress is laced up completely wrong, I’m happy.  

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It turns out it's hard to breathe wearing a corsetted dress in a limo, but I had peeps there to distract me...

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Whilst all this is going on, I get in the cab and get to the Chapel of the Flowers for 10.30am. It's a blur from then on. I remember shaking hands with lots of people, then hiding in the chapel before Joobs got there...then we let everyone else in and the minister started talking. He made the fatal mistake of saying “Thank you everyone for coming over from England!” Needless to say half the room goes “Oi! I'm not from fecking England!” His simple reply? “OK, England and Scotland!” That set off the Welsh, so he tries “Everyone from the United Kingdom!” That just set off Ger. Need I say more?

Thanks guys. That little palaver actually calmed me down a lot and probably got me through the whole thing without chucking my guts up, so thanks. I needed that.

It's 11am and nearly everyone is here. Even the bride is outside! Unfortunately, RichEO and Khadija missed the wedding and had to watch from a side room, oops! Even more unfortunate, Curlarge was taken ill and missed the whole lot. So Joobs makes her entrance and I'm not even going to attempt to describe it...just watch it.



Unsurprisingly, I'm the guy in the black suit getting married, for those of you who are lucky enough to have not met me yet. The laughing and pointing should really be explained... Joobs said she wasn't going to marry me unless I cried...I never cry. Here I didn't full on burst into tears either, but I'll be damned if there wasn't a few tears in my eyes when I first saw her as she entered the chapel.

Afterwards we get dragged around for the official photos (not really dragged, I enjoyed it) which was fun but HOT. It was 25 degrees out throughout the day and 45 minutes in a black suit jacket, waistcoat etc was not fun. A massive thank you to Dawn who “organised” everyone  while this was going on.

We'd decided on lunch at the Cheesecake Factory.  My dad is an aspiring amateur photographer so he decided that we would walk from Caesars casino to the Cheesecake Factory whilst he snapped us like Paparazzi, stopping at all the cool places to pose. OMG this was awesome. Random people kept stopping us to take pics! Joobs loved all the attention, me? I just loved her on my arm lol!

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Get to the Cheesecake Factory. They don't do bookings apparently...well they didn't until they met Joobs and Dawn, who between them managed to get around 30 of us sat and eating dinner!!

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By this time we're knackered so head back to Vdara for an hours kip before the REAL fun...JAPAT 2011! Stop off at Caesars on the way back and get some interesting pics...

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I was surprisingly on a roll and hit a fire bet – the one and only time I have done so! Hit 5/6 numbers for, well, I'm writing this in October 2012, I can't remember! Eventually make it back to Vdara and chill out for an hour.

And before you dirty pervs get any ideas, that dress had to stay on. It was just chilling.

We head over to the Trop at about 5.15pm for JAPAT. Most of it has already been posted on the APAT forums but for newbies, I'll explain. When Joobs found out that APAT didn't have a tourney planned (ie before Curlarge stepped in), she was already determined to play poker in her dress on her wedding day. Hence, JAPAT (Joobie's APAT). We got in touch with a few cardrooms and eventually came up with a good deal from the Tropicana. Silo Graham from Blonde donated a trophy and 2 medals, and Joobs (with Jon MW's help) sorted out a funny wooden spoon for first man out, and we had our own wedding tournament! Nick Gullo, the cardroom manager, was very helpful before, during and after, and the whole thing ran smoothly (even when joobs changed the structure mid tournament.... more than once). I persuaded a few people to start a 3/6 L08 game which apparently ran til 7am in the morning to generate a bit more rake for the room as a thank you, and Jack Prime of all people won the tournament!

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I bust pretty early as my role was simple; mingle, host and make sure everyone was happy (oh, and sneak off for some dice). Joobs had one target: Win. Unfortunately Jon MW made her bubble her own wedding tournament!! Apart from this, it was the perfect way for two crazy, poker obsessed lunatics such as ourselves to spend our wedding day: Playing our favourite game with our friends, family and loved ones, some of whom hated poker but joined in just for us) We wouldn't change it for the world, so thank you those who came, those who wished us well, those who watched, and those who just supported us.

Paul Gildea was the unlucky man to bust first (sorry Paul):

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Jon MW came 3rd:

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Andrew Duncan came 2nd:

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And of course, Jack Prime won:

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By the time the tournament was over it was midnight and the both of us were knackered, so we made the presentations, said thank you, left the degens to play L08, and went back to the Vdara.

And slept. As man and wife.