Diary of a MTT Grinder Wannabe

[Ant040689]

About 1400$ down for the night and went against one of my rules of only playing when fully fit to. I was pretty tired throughout because of my sleeping pattern. If I am going to be honest I haven't had a good session in a while now, always playing when I shouldn't out of boredom.

My roll is now close to $10k which is not good. I need to be pushing on but am faltering by not being properly prepared for a grind, but from now on I vow to do something else with my night if I feel groggy/tired instead of lose money.

Like Cos now I have to treat this lark like a profession, and when I do I see positive results and when I don't I hemorrhage badly. Need to find where I mislaid the jared tender book, read it and start applying some of the philosophies in it.

The one thing I am doing well recently though is going to the gym and actively losing weight. I will have a beach bod for the summer and I hope by the time my hols comes I am a well oiled machine both mentally and physically so I can make a killing on life in general. I know I can, just fucking hard to use the stringent discipline required.

Btw, If you did think of me topless and oiled when I said the above, It's only natural and I advise you give in to your lustful urges.

[GreekStein]

If you trained with weights you'd look awesome because you have the perfect frame for it.

[GreekStein]

One more thing (that is a little less gay).

-Get vegas booked.

Amagay will sort it.

[Ant040689]

Argh I have been on a mass losing spell though! Ah Fuck. Will have a look tonight when I get back from the cricket.

Just to update you guys on how the cricket is going I got 1-15 from 3 overs of bowling before the rain came in and washed the game out.

I am doing a promo on my Twitter today that if you follow me and put up a run total of what you think I am going to hit today, you get a cash prize. @antgaughan. Have a golden duck, 37 and 87 so far.

[swansfc]

gl with the grind! be good to see a tournament grinder

[Ant040689]

gl with the grind! be good to see a tournament grinder

Thanks. Was a good victory that against Reading.

As for me i need to hand in the last of my courseworks for friday, but then i have to do 3 re-submittals for august which i have to make sure i don't put on the back burner too much because to start up again with two weeks to go i might be cold so i might get all those three done and handed in before the end of June. They make up 23% of my final year grade, so not to be taken lightly at all and with the amount of time i have to do them with only poker as the other pressing issue i should be looking for top grades here to consolidate for some of the not so good grades in the other assessments.

There is the boring stuff out of the way. I feel like i haven't played poker in about 2 years even though it has only been 3 days. I think its because it feels like two years since i put in a well prepared and well played session and that actually happened about 3 weeks ago and because of the ill prep i have been on a tough losing streak. However, i am happy that this fall is really because of my own demise in not being disciplined with sleep or fitness rather than being well prepared but just not being good enough at the tables. This said that means that I am a joke to be a pro poker player now and still take these things for granted. I think it stems from me not having urgent expenditure pressures of bills and rent and what not because i still live with the parents who have me on mates rates. I need to create that pressure so that i am never waning on the concentration front and to feel like i am playing for something rather than for the hell of it.

So I am going to first get back on the winning streak and once i feel i have my routine set, whereby i go gym daily and sort of social hours for the week, i can then think about putting a percentage of money away each week. If i was to set goals in how much i can put away it will give me that fight to play every table as serious as the last and to never give up despite the harshness of the game. That is what is missing, that will to fight to the very end. It will come with better fitness more steady success and a goal to make the money for. My distant goal is to buy a property in cash from my savings, my short term goal might be to put away £2000 a month. That is provisional of course, but hopefully when i am up and running i will get there. I also have to be more careful with my spending because i can be quite ridiculous with the amount of watches i buy and the amount i lose on takeaway food when preparing myself is the healthier and more economical option.

Also i will need to live life a bit more and with the freedoms of no university and just poker i will be doing that, and with that i should be having much more interesting stories to share on here other than the self turmoil battles with myself that can get repetitive and boring! So i will leave you with that. I will be playing again full time and near enough on a daily basis from the 6th June onwards. I would also like to note it is my birthday on saturday the 4th and would like to think i always give you a healthy reminder of when my birthday is through my username!

[Ant040689]

Just making sure i am ticking this diary over.

Today has been full of procrastination for a 3000 word essay i need to do by tomorrow. I need to do 50 pages worth of reading, plan an essay, locate quotes and formulate my arguments by about 14.00 tomorrow but i am lost in a spell of online episodes of the US office and listening to music. So i am using this as making a clean break from that to get on with things. After i finish this post of course!

I think tomorrow is going to be a poker night for the first time in a while. I did have a day session yesterday that ended in me being a little bit above break even, but i was unlucky in spots so never mind. Tomorrow the emphasis is going to be on confidence building, so i am going to count the bankroll and then play lower than i normally would so that i can experience better results from poorer players just so i can start to feel good about myself again, building up slowly until i start laying down some wondrous plays to nail the biggie tournaments online.

Saturday is my birthday and i have a leicester square get together planned at a weatherspoons then a move on to the clubs around there. Should be a blast especially as a few faces are gonna be there that i haven't seen in a while. The day after is going to be the more formal meet up for lunch with the family and that will end that weekend and another year older.

On monday i start my routine for success. It is going to be to get up in the morning, have breakfast, wait an hour, then go to the gym for an hour, then come back and grind for about 12 hours and do that for 5 days a week but if i am in the mood, for as many days that i can get away with doing just so that i can get my bankroll going and that i can get my confidence up because it has taken a hammering recently with ill prepared grinds and obvious subsequent failures of nights.

So looking forward to the days ahead and hopefully will get into this essay now and hand in something decent tomorrow. Will post up on here again probably on saturday morning after tomorrows grind. Cheers.

[Ant040689]

up about $600 at least for the night and finally think i may have my perfect toruney grind planned. Picking only the tournaments that i enjoy playing and in no way shape or form seek to annoy.

For example, i used to play 500+ 10r fields but i just am not suited to playing for that length of time and concentrate properly because i would get easily frustrated if i have played two hours of a tourn and there is still 200 left. Much better suited to tourns with less than 200 and with a speedy structure, so i am finally being disciplined enough to stick to only that.

If any of you fancy a rail i am 15/17 in the 20.35pm gmt 55f 5k on party and just about to make the money, anupreturns on there.

[Ant040689]

out in 6th 778 board i have JJ raised it up pre with 20 bbs got a bb caller, he checks to me i bet 4/5 pot he min reraises i jam he has A7. $330 i think the prize was.

Cashed for 800 and 715 euros in my two best results tonight and have had a load of min cashes to help protect that prof.

In my last 5 tourns now, will update in a bit on them.

[Ant040689]

add $1600 to that, just came second in a tourn.

one left to come as well, got third in the bad for a gtd $650, first is $1500

[Ant040689]

came second for $1000

Overall im up tonight £2300

However, i was downswinging hard before this and now only see my br at about $11.5k, so of late i haven't been over $14.5k for like the last two months, but now i feel with the suitable grind, 3 monitor set up and a hell of a lot of confidence i am going to win and stay winning until there is nothing left to be had from these tourns.

[Ant040689]

I think I am going to start a fight with four men outside my front door, armed with only my hardened fists while one if those complete fuckers is armed with a road drill and from 8am he hasn't been afraid to use it!

[Ant040689]

wooops bit strong earlier. Have to arrange my grind differently now i have to be up at 8am.

Going out on a drinking session tonight and tomorrow starting a gym regime that will hopefully have me drop a couple of stone before 7 weeks is up. Going to go ultra disciplined and i find that i have to go all out to do something properly or i don't do it well at all. In this case that means if i am to try and lose weight im best off not allowing any respite with occasional junk food i will have to cut it out completely.

Gonna be interesting to see how this effects my poker game as well, i would assume i will probably be 50% more effective because i can remember about 7 days worth of gym and then a poker grind on the same day and i always recorded a plus night. May well have been variance but it most definitely helps with the concentration.

Happy the mods have stopped replies happening on this thread from other users as well

[Ant040689]

had a small 14 tourn grind from 11pm tonight as i had gone out for a drinks sesh. I am down about £200 tonight but i have two tourns left.

One is anupreturns on party poker where i am 20/25 with $1350 up top the other has $4500 up top and i am lagging behind with 36 left.

[Ant040689]

7/11 on party $5k GTD that started at 22.30, anupreturns the name if you fancy a rail.

other tourny i lost AK<JJ in a 6 max where utg min raised and it folds around to my bb and i have 22 bigs, with loads of antes in the middle i ship, he snaps. Don't think i should have played it any different. Not even a min cash in that one.

Probably need about 6th in this to break even on the day. Looking forward to tomorrow though when i can get a full 16.00-04.00 grind going and really play my bread and butter tournies without any distraction. Gym beforehand also and probably a chinese for lunch