Diary of a MTT Grinder Wannabe

[Ant040689]

BIG BIG night tonight, got money onto moneybookers and now i can play all the tourns i want. Probs gonna be a bit of adjusting to do, but i am hoping for the best.

Probs laying around $3k, not sure though, will just let you know of prof/loss later when i do the count up.

[paulhouk03]

Lol u just can't help urself



Glglglgl

[Ant040689]

Awesome night result wise but i wasn't happy at all about my organisation.

At one stage with 26 tables i had lost control, not totally because of the amount of tables but more to do with i added loads of different tourns i am not used to and had to constantly adjust to what style i had to deploy. Just that one split second of hesitation and you are sitting out of about 10 tables and wanting to give up on life.

The main lesson from tonight is to avoid high end turbo tourns when i am playing standards of the same price or similar because it is draining to grind hard in a 55f for 6 hours and just miss out on a min cash, but spend 2 hours getting through 4 $55f turbos and being 220 down. Would much rather everything be on a similar grounding. Only exception is with the rebuy turbos as you can get a mighty stack in those and i find that i am very good in these games, extremely comfortbale, so the 18.30 8r and 20.30 3r from stars get onto my schedule.

Ultimately i was $4100 up tonight. Got the main bulk of my scores from a second and first in $5k gtd's, also came 4th in a $20k gtd, I think fourth in a $7k as well, and also a 7th in a $10k, then i made quite high cashes in other places as well.

I was 24 tabling for most of it, but mellowed out at the end to average on about 12 until the last hour of about just four. I find that adding more tables is a sort of resistance training and i was quite happy when i thought of it like that tonight. I saw that i had 24 tables up which i was comfortable with, then another 3 popped up and i face palmed, i started getting stressed thinking this is impossible, but after the first five minutes of getting used to it i was getting better and better.

I think that is the way you get comfortable on so many tables, know where your comfort zone is and then add more until you are comfortably uncomfortable and stay there for as long as possible. Then when your tables start to diminish and you are back on your normal amount of tables, you are playing them much better because you are used to more. I liken it to physical fitness really.

It was a 17.00pm till 07.30am shift and i got really tired between 03.00am and 06.00am but rode it well to finish the night well.

I am at 24 tables, but i see my max at 30. As well as playing so many tables my skill level isn't really being overly compromised either which is the very pleasing thing. I just think i may be onto something special here and i am not going to let anything distract me while i keep my head down and absolutely smash the tables as hard as i can.

No live tourns, no taking redic shots, no playing tourns i am uncomfortable with, no playing tired. Nothing that could negatively alter my grind and i know everything that it could be so i know exactly the right conditions i need.

Saw Amatay's thread recently on him running to raise charity funds for Parkinsons and it wants me to be much more proactive in maybe fundraising or something, but i am probably best off donating, i can't be doing with running, bloody boring

I mentioned before that i have been doing an alternate day diet, where i am eating 500 calories one day and eat what and as much as i want on the next day. Been doing it for i think about 10 days now, lost a lot of weight and on the fast days in particular i am feeling so much sharper, and that is no doubt making me play better. I think it is to do with you body developing new neurons in the brain so as to improve your chances of gathering food when hungry, so it improves alertness. I do notice that i am playing better on the fast, than the feast days which is interesting.

On the feast days i have gone to town on what i have eaten, burgers, pizza, coke, basically i may as well be getting some lard in, but what i am noticing is that i cant eat as much anymore and my appetite is becoming more like that of a normal person as my stomach is shrinking on the fast days. So it's an ingenious way to lose weight imo for someone like myself.

Everything is clicking into place at the minute and i just hope that i carry on in the same way, until i have a truly comfortable roll.

Off to Dover today btw, to see my brother's navy ship (he's in the Navy, doesn't actually own one of these) as it is sort of having an open entry where visitors can see what it is like to live in these places. My brother always complains of how small the bedroom space is, so should be interesting. To add another dimension here is a picture of a navy ship, is it the one i am seeing tomorrow? I doubt it, it was a random google search.

Click to see full-size image.

[millidonk]

That is HMS Bulwark which basically ferries around troops and vehicles to hotspots, used for marines to dock on and off.

Think you will be visiting Express, Puncher or Blazer. So you don't know the name of your brother's ship?

grats on the binkage and weightloss.

[Ant040689]

HMS Kent i have just found out and ta for the congrats, turns out one side of my family is going to this and i am having to go to my cousins christening, which is alright as i don't fancy traveling on zero sleep, but deffo an opportunity missed to see the inside of a ship. Think its open for public viewing in Dover today and they may be doing a procession through the town.

[Ant040689]

-$775 day for me today but i do have a day two to return to tomorrow, just outside the min cash with 147 left 141 paid and i am 75th. $27k ftw and $283 dollars for the min cash, so for a sunday that has to be described as a bit of a mare i did well to nearly break even and maybe even get a big score.

Saturday had me up $7724, which was superb, had 2 tourney wins and was on fire and i cam second in another.

I am looking forward to everydays grind now. I know the rate i am currently going at is truly untenable but i am going to try my hardest to push for more and more prof.

Not happy at all with the amount of mistakes i made tonight and i think every grind i do is riddled with them. I spazzed out of the party major in 20th of 80, i was distracted with a pizza delivery and completely fluffed it and saw myself out of it, completely gutted.

The mistakes i make are often shoving a little too aggro/calling shoves too light and calling down with hands that i know are unlikely to be ahead but doing it for the sake of doing so. I just need to kop on and try very hard to have a grind where i can honestly say there wasn't one mistake.

That hasn't happened yet, so it will be interesting to see if i ever get the chance.

Plan is to carry on grinding very hard, hopefully make about $500 a day for 5 days a week which would mean about £300 a day/£1500 a week/£6000 a month/£72000 a year. Obv won't be taking into account daily winnings but will be looking at things roughly after a month and seeing if i am keeping to that win rate. Obv i would like to reiterate that i am not trying to look at making a set amount of money, I am just seeing if what i do make falls in line with what i hope to be making.

Need to start exercising now as i am feeling really sluggish and have settled upon a no grind if i haven't exercised for 30 mins rule each day, which if i keep to will be amazing for my results and well being.

Also going to get rid of fizzy drinks on my feast days and eating excess amounts of food. I am going to see what it is like to sort of undereat/only eat what is needed as opposed to filling myself up.

[Ricardov83]

I enjoy this sporadic diary Ant.  It's honest and it's nice to hear of big wins.

However, it seems to me that you go round and round in circles with your mindset and targets only to revert back a month later.

 Diet, bankroll management and schedules are all topics that you discuss as very important and a main priority but you seem to have to reaffirm these quite often instead of sticking to your guns and enjoying a prolonged spell of good habits.

I guess what I'm saying is, With the greatest intentions in the world, you can never progress without strength of conviction.

[Ant040689]

I enjoy this sporadic diary Ant.  It's honest and it's nice to hear of big wins.

However, it seems to me that you go round and round in circles with your mindset and targets only to revert back a month later.

 Diet, bankroll management and schedules are all topics that you discuss as very important and a main priority but you seem to have to reaffirm these quite often instead of sticking to your guns and enjoying a prolonged spell of good habits.

I guess what I'm saying is, With the greatest intentions in the world, you can never progress without strength of conviction.

It is a correct assessment of my attitude really. What i would say though is that i am complaining of the fundamentals as i am progressing with them. I am exercising more and eating better but i will complain i am not doing enough of it. I have the attitude of never settling for anything and always pushing for better. Only recently have I applied this properly to my physical health, my poker has then thus seen a sharp increase in profitability and all is becoming rosy.

I don't think you are ever going to get a entry from me that isn't complaining about something that could be improved and that is just my personality. The goal is to basically have most of the boxes ticked that i want sorted in my life and then complain about the small things that i need to improve while having the fundamentals tied down. I will never have an entry here where i will say i am completely happy and not have something to want to improve. I think in part because it's impossible to be completely well off in aspects without having to keep on applying more changes and effort. I think it is a personality thing with me, a bit of a perfectionist and I am doing well recently to bring it in a little and have been getting fantastic results with a more relaxed and calm approach. So to close, I would say the conviction you think i am lacking is being seen through me complaining harder, but i am getting so much done in the process.

Thanks for saying you appreciate the diary. I sort of do it to let people in on what is going on with grinding a serious amount of tables and i don't often stray too much from the subject matter of poker like the more popular diaries, which is why there aren't as much responses on here. Because what can i expect you to say, I am not really allowing for much two way communication, but i would actually like to hear about other people's grind setups and similar problems they are facing with their sessions because it would be interesting to see of similarities and differences with my own.

Otherwise, quite happy with just carrying on to put up the results of my night's endeavors and have you guys pop in to check up what is going on.

I just hope that i carry on in the same way and eventually come to a position where i can play most/any online tournament i want with a financial freedom that will allow for me to get very creative with my plays. This would mean in the short term playing in a real funky way i would be a loser, up until i learn new things that did work and things that almost definitely won't work. So i can eventually add to my already winning game by adding elements that are increasing my ROI by a silly margin.

I think having a huge roll is what separates the utter sickos of this game that are completely pwning high stakes from other other high stake players. That freedom aids, so you can play in such a style that is so different and tough to play against. I may be talking complete bollocks but that is my ignorant view of it.

Tonight i continued with the day 2 of a tourn i was 90/149 in or summin like that, i got up to 10/70, then got completely crushed when utg min raised i 3 bet on dealer button with AQ, he called with 99 and the flop came 9QQ so adios to my chances there. The cash from this did reduce my loss for Sunday to 350 dollars and I won a highroller seat to the ongame tourn tomorrow to effectively nullify those losses tonight.

Not playing tonight as i need a break from all the hard work and am sinking my teeth into the last series of 'Louie' which has been pretty funny thus far and i have watched the first couple of episodes of other series that i might find funny or entertaining and sort of feeling let down. I need a good series to watch. But to be honest Dexter is back shortly and i will quickly find my fix with that program after last season's cliffhanger.

And for random lolz, here is a picture of a cat.

[Sulphur man]

This diary is great always enjoy the progress reports.
Keep enjoying it boss and i will be checking back as always. 

[jgcblack]

This diary is great always enjoy the progress reports.
Keep enjoying it boss and i will be checking back as always. 

Agree..

Only questions I have are some hand related.. What did you do and why.?

And then grind setup wise, have you seen the pic in my blog? I have 3x 24's and its pretty tough for me to keep eyes on just how wide that is. So I use 2/3 of it to grind and the far left or right for skype/ media player.

Ever thought about going through one of your 'better' tournys and doing a full hh review?
[X] I would be interested

[Ant040689]

Sorry about the massive absence. I had one horrid night of poker that completely threw me off and made me want to smash my laptop screen up and whatnot. I had 24 tables up and all of a sudden there was a huge lag. I was seeing AA being folded in front of me and i was unable to do anything about it as it was getting folded for me. This was on the same night i had qualified for 3 highrollers and i was really excited, the night started amazingly well as well to further infuriate me.

I ended up being a huge loser on the night which was incredibly frustrating as it wasn't entirely my fault. Since, i have done all i can to prevent anymore lagging and it has been better, hardly any problems now.

I have since made quite a few loss nights but nothing too harsh. I am down 4000 since my last posting, but that includes booking an ireland trip and expenses from that point which isn't bad going considering what i had to go through that night. Bloody scarred me that has.

Tonight i logged a $1200 profit night and am seriously considering locking myself in my room for the next 21 days until i leave for Ireland for the Irish Winter Festival to try my hardest to see if i can make $500 a night. That has been my goal from the start of last month and is now my permanent goal for the time being, at least until i can start rising my buy ins to the bigger games, but even then i don't think i can expect to make more than $500 a night so i shouldn't get ahead of myself.

I am going to be grinding very hard over the next three weeks and i am going to tell you my nightly prof, but to add a little spice i am going to do a little countdown of the target I have set of making $11k before the trip to Ireland. I know too well and needn't any of you to tell me that short term targets with MTT'S is foolish but i am doing this for fun and as a sort of impetus to try and beat variance by playing long hours and loads of tables.

So i am counting last night towards my push for the $11k so i have $9800 more to go!

I have been off the boil with my diet. When that nightmare night happened i completely lost it for a little while all over the place, and had to have a few days off to break. Never do i get tilted, really, but when something like that happens out of your control, it would get to anyone. I still did well to make sure i clawed back some cashes but blimey it was a test of my perseverance.

Also one more thing i should add, i have started to watch some really corny Youtube videos that help me get in the mood pre grind, the one below is the one i watch just before i get started. It is a decent enough prep to face the exciting prospect of 24 tabling and normally changes me from a bad mood into a fighting one.



And this one is for the pure jokes, the only bit that is worth watching is the first 20 seconds, Emile Heskey's face is hilarious.

[Ant040689]

-$1839 tonight. Had some near misses, especially in the ipoker highrollers, the 100r and the 320f, bubbled both in quite nasty fashion.

Have learnt that i need to stick with no shots whatsoever, even though playing these two tournaments was a relatively controlled risk, it really does hinder the motivation of the lesser tourns i play, so really just need to put my head down and be patient and wait to be better rolled for these tourns.

My life on pokerstars is a complete mess, i have lost over 20,000$ on my downswing of late which is soul destroying. I haven't played badly on there, I just haven't been getting the run that my play has warranted, a lot of close calls, but so many more lead balloons. It is a shame really because play on every other site nearly is going really well and i am always chalking up huge losses on this site despite playing good poker on there.

I have been mixing it up with different strategies with what tourns i should play, how to mix turbos and standards and how many satellites i should play, how many runners should i allow in a tourn, what is the minimum 1st prize to be shooting for. Loads of variables. I haven't settled but i am getting there through trial and error. Tonight was a big big error, and with soem bad luck going my way i definitely wasn't playing at 100%

I have decided that I am not allowing this any more, playing under the influence of meh. It is just ridiculous that i am not motivated sometimes when i have so much money on the line. So i am going to list how many times a night i make a mistake and with that i need to create forfeits i need to do as a result of making a mistake. One mistake means i must do one forfeit. I am not sure what i will be doing just yet, but i am going to count the amount of mistakes and then get creative with the forfeits, these must test me and has to be something i am really uncomfortable doing but it is for the greater good that i do it. Hmmmm need to mull it over.

I have had the biggest meh night tonight tbh, and if i play another night like this again i will pack this poker malarkey in, which is how serious i am that the apathy i showed tonight cannot be repeated. 

[Ant040689]

so i am -$639 when the par is $1000 for the $11k challenege, can't let that gap get any bigger.

[aggers]

So i am going to list how many times a night i make a mistake and with that i need to create forfeits i need to do as a result of making a mistake. One mistake means i must do one forfeit. I am not sure what i will be doing just yet, but i am going to count the amount of mistakes and then get creative with the forfeits, these must test me and has to be something i am really uncomfortable doing but it is for the greater good that i do it. Hmmmm need to mull it over.
 

I started doing a similar thing - no forfeits but just using mistakes per hour (in live tourneys) as a measure of how well I played. Every major recurrent mistake gets 10 points, smaller recurrent/should have know better mistakes get 3 points and new mistakes are 1 point. I put the scores into a spreadsheet which, for each tourney, has a line and small description for each mistake, a column for the points, a row underneath for hours played then the all important mistake points per hour (mph).

It started to work pretty well, so much so that I thought I didn't need to do it anymore, but now I've realised I need to start doing it again.

[Ant040689]

So i am going to list how many times a night i make a mistake and with that i need to create forfeits i need to do as a result of making a mistake. One mistake means i must do one forfeit. I am not sure what i will be doing just yet, but i am going to count the amount of mistakes and then get creative with the forfeits, these must test me and has to be something i am really uncomfortable doing but it is for the greater good that i do it. Hmmmm need to mull it over.
 

I started doing a similar thing - no forfeits but just using mistakes per hour (in live tourneys) as a measure of how well I played. Every major recurrent mistake gets 10 points, smaller recurrent/should have know better mistakes get 3 points and new mistakes are 1 point. I put the scores into a spreadsheet which, for each tourney, has a line and small description for each mistake, a column for the points, a row underneath for hours played then the all important mistake points per hour (mph).

It started to work pretty well, so much so that I thought I didn't need to do it anymore, but now I've realised I need to start doing it again.

Nice.

One thought for concern though is if i get to a stage where i think i am no longer making any mistakes. As i guess how do you know you aren't making any mistakes unless you are doing some occasionally. If you constantly are playing it correct your viewpoint of correct may be skewed unless of course you are gauging the change of the dynamic expertly but you can only do that through mistakes imo. So if i limit it to a few a night i think i would be a happy man!