The Laziness of a Long Distance Runner ;-)

OK so this is a short training diary, but may end up turning into a full blown one depending on whether a. It works, b. I can be @rsed.

Since I got back off tour I’ve been a little lazy. I’ve been moved to a small isolated detachment which makes ‘forgetting’ to train easy, but more importantly I’ve also had quite alot of upheaval in my life – and a few niggling injuries. Oh, and a month long holiday where I drank myself Fat.

So I thought I might use this (in the longer term) to motivate myself. In the short term its probably antithetical to Dans diary! It may also give a little insight into a lifestyle slightly alien to most posters.

It started with my mates training for the Rotterdam marathon. Having endured a gentle ribbing about the burgeoning belly, I decided to train with the guys for a couple of weeks. Their programme was something like 6-8 mile runs 3 times a week; also a couple of 12 milers.

Without wanting to sound too big headed, I used to be quite a good runner. I was also a racing cyclist and competed to a high standard. Much of this base fitness has served me well throughout my career. Even if I’m unfit, it doesn’t take long to get fit. Perhaps two or three weeks. Aerobically fit that is. Even with a belly, I’m a bit of a sneaky runner.
So anyway, I handed out a bit of a beasting on the 12 and was asked to do Rotterdam. I couldn’t though as I was travelling to the UK that weekend to see my kids. I have harboured an interest in testing myself, but it’s a case of finding the right project.

I’m interested in doing a marathon, but even then it doesn’t really fire my rockets. I’ve never done one, but won a March competition a couple of years ago. It was 30km carrying 55 lbs and I got round in 3:45 on a hilly course. I’ve also taken part in similar team events previously and so there’s a little interest in that field. But it would be nice to try something new. A few years ago I blew up spectacularly (dehydration) on a Mountain half marathon in Bosnia and went from 2nd to struggling to finish. A bloke died on that one as it was a tad bit warm.

Although I’m not a bad runner, I do find it tedious – although the invention of the iPod has helped! I have always found the idea of running around a marathon horrifyingly tedious. A few mates have recently come back from the London Marathon and told me all about the atmosphere and the camaraderie and it really appeals – except for the waiting list/lottery involved with getting in...

So I’ve been looking to do something a little extreme. Trouble is, a lot of these events (Marathon des Sables, Polar Marathon etc) cost a lot of money. Individuals have to stump up huge fees in advance; it takes a hell of a lot of fundraising. It’s not so much laziness, but the fact my life doesn’t really allow me to plan from so far out. Maybe one it becomes a little less turbulent I’ll be able to...

Anyway so that’s been my mindset, which sort of explains my reaction in the Mess last Wednesday evening at dinner. We were talking about challenges. Paddy suggested I do the Bruggen 10 km, which I scoffed at. He then mentions a half marathon, which again I tell him is not really all that difficult. “Well you won’t have any problem with me entering you into it then will you?” Not at all. Not at all, until I realised its next Sunday.

Normally not a problem. Except, since I ran with the group a couple of months back I’ve had an injury. On my Ski Tour Leader course I got avalanched, or more to the point very very narrowly avoided being taken away by one. In jumping out of the way I suffered a recurrence of a groin injury, did the tendons in my left elbow and (bit girly I know) broke my left pinky.

The Ski Tour course was a complete melting and so quite alot of benefit can be drawn from it. But since the start of the month I have totally rested, which I find to be the best treatment for groin strains. So I don’t know how much my condition has dipped. All I know is I have a 38” waist and that ain’t good!

I now find myself on a Monday night with 5 or 6 days to the race (I still don’t know if its Sat or Sun!). This has been my training programme since Wednesday:

Wed: Played Poker tourney. Changed table 3 times. Estimate I walked about 50 yards.
Thu: Drove home to kids. Chased them around the garden, probs about 200 yards.
Fri: Took kids and dog for a walk. About 3 miles all in all.
Sat: Another kids/dog walk. About 4 miles.
Sun: Walked the kids and dog about 2 miles.*
Mon: Got diorheaa from a dodgy meal on the boat. Reckon I have covered about 13 miles today. Sprinting. Knocked myself off at lunch time, but its a good 40 metres from my room down the corridor to the toilet. FARTlek in its purest form.

So that’s the sum of all my training so far. I have absolutely no idea what time I am going to clock. It probably doesn’t help that I gobbed off again at Paddy when he suggested I put my potential time down as 2 hours dead on the app. Billy Big Balls here told him I’d look more at 1:45. We shall see, we shall see. I’ve also realised that my iPod is fooked.

It’s an ancient 4gb little thing (dunno the model) and the buttons have stopped working. I have to shake it to change the random tune if I don’t like it. Problem is I’ve not changed it from pre-Afghan and I’m utterly sick of a lot of tunes after 6 months of the stuff (my iTunes is locked up on a knackered laptop). I’m facing the prospect of having to constantly shake my iPod to filter out any de-motivational guff that comes on! God knows how many calories that will deny me...

Oh and I just remembered the army has finally decided to pay me the 4 grand it owes me. Bit gutted really as I would probably have a night out to celebrate at the weekend. My social life hasn’t been quite so intense recently because of the buffoons in the pay office. I’m hoping the run is on a Saturday so I can go out post race – I don’t really want to be going out a night or two before. Those days are in the past for me (watch this space). This may impair my performance - although it has been known for a night on the cider to give a bit of a sugar rush!!

Anyway, it’s all laid bare now. I have to do some training now. TBH I’ll probably just do a couple of 3-6 mile looseners so my hamstrings aren’t totally shocked at the weekend. That’s if I manage to get off the toilet grrr

I am actively seeking an event to do. There’s a 100 km ‘Death March’ in July (24 hours), but I’m trying to get posted back to the UK so wouldn’t be allowed to compete in my current units team if I move before then. If anyone has any suggestions/props I’m all ears. I’ll look at continuing my training, but will probably not aim at anything in particular.

* Why am I making my 5 and 7 year old walk so far? They're lucky little lads that live in the countryside, bordering on some great little hills. They've also expressed an interest in doing an event for charity. It looks like they'll be doing Pen-Y-Fan in August, but I have to decide on the most suitable route first. Once I get a Justgiving page up and running I'll be making a charity post :-)