Laxie Goes Primetime

[Laxie]

Matt, Acidmouse and Caroline - genuine thank you for various reasons. 

Now then, I'm off.  I'll answer genuine posts in the morning and honestly understand why people would have problems with all of this so don't be shy about it.  I would ask everyone to keep in mind Sarah does read this thread so please keep it civil and we'll get on grand.  She knows there's some 'issue' between myself and a few here, but the 'issue' is not to be mentioned.  Cheers.

[EvilPie]

This was the first time Tim was even present for anything like this, so it caught everyone for a hop that he was even involved. 

Why would you leave your kids with their dad when it sounds like, from the line above that he doesn't do a great job of being a dad.

My dad was never present for anything like this either but if anyone dares tell me he isn't an absolutely amazing father because of it had best not be in my firing line.

Like Acidmouse says different families have different ways of working things.

Just because it's different from someone else's doesn't make it better or worse, it's just different.

[GreekStein]

My post wasn't trolling at all or a part of any personal issue (that doesn't exist) that you think might. I picked up on a point that didn't look right to me and posted in the same tone as claw and holdy. You could have replied normally instead of including me in that absolute lolthreat.

[Laxie]

My post wasn't trolling at all or a part of any personal issue (that doesn't exist) that you think might. I picked up on a point that didn't look right to me and posted in the same tone as claw and holdy. You could have replied normally instead of including me in that absolute lolthreat.

Fair enough...my apologies.

[TightEnd]

Discussion fine

threats not fine (threats were not to Laxie,)

A few posts deleted.

[TightEnd]

Enough please. Everyone.


thanks

[Laxie]

Now then, moving on.....

[the sicilian]

My eldest had her  tonsils out (shes 12) Both I and the ex went to the hospital .  She went down with her and when she came out I went to see her in recovery. I felt it was important that our child knew we were both there for her even though we had split. I find it Hard to comprehend some people's blasé attitude to how even young teenage children perceive their parents actions. They are already having to deal with monumental upheavals in their own life with body and emotional changes and some seem to think They will just be fine.

Laxie had you ever thought that your youngest child's indifference to you was something more than just teenage angst.? She has seen you move to another country almost on a whim at a time when she probably feels she needs you most. It's difficult to comment as no one will ever know the full ins and outs of behind the scenes..but I went through a similar but much more profound experience regarding a divorce..having to suffer under the same roof as my ex for two years after we were divorced... Because of this I feel it would be even more important to be there for such occasions .

[Laxie]

I'm at a loss to explain it to people who don't already know me and understand.  A number of PM's have come in since this topic was first brought up from people who DO get it, but aren't inclined to make it known in the thread.  I'll give it one last go, but then I'm going to draw a line under it because there's no point when it's clear we're just going round and round.

There's one thing I guess many won't know about me but my kids do.  When the going gets tough, mom makes light of it if she can, because everything usually comes right in the end.  If I were to get overly dramatic or shut up shop and say nothing, THEN they'd worry.  Not sure if I've explained properly - but that's the best I can come up with regarding the seemingly the blasé attitude. 

They know I love them and would move mountains for them if needed.  I don't need to plaster it on facebook or wherever to prove my love for them.  In fact, they'd hate it if I ever did.  They take the piss out of their friends when the parents post things like that and have made me promise I wouldn't embarrass them that way.  And I won't. 

They also know I will do what I can to keep peace around them.  I don't like them being stuck in a tense atmosphere.  That's something Tim will have to work on and until he's got a better grasp, I can't force the issue like I tried to do this last visit.  That said, if they need me all they have to do is say so and I WILL be there, regardless.   

The way I look at it is this...let them have peace there with their father and they can visit here in peace too.  Why do ye think I've been tearing around this place at such a silly speed to get it in order?  Has it not occurred to any of you that all the while I've been tearing around this house, I've had my kids and their future visits in my head?  Just because I don't say it in every single post or on every other fb update, doesn't mean I don't think about and love my kids.

Sarah phoned last night and we chatted about her night out on Saturday.  The latest in this thread wasn't brought up.  Not sure if she's read it yet but when it comes up, she knows she can speak her mind and be honest with me without fear.  Because the one thing I've ALWAYS grilled into them was honesty. 

[boldie]

Said it in pm and I'll say it here, feck the haters.

[Laxie]

Said it in pm and I'll say it here, feck the haters.

You've an advantage as you've spent time with Sarah and I since it all broke in May, so ya know how we are.  She was asking for ye last week btw.  x

[Joobie538]

I've been the child in a situation very similar to this my mum was 300 miles away. And ok so she wasn't there when i was ill or when i had an operation but if i had asked she would have gone without food to be there when i needed her. But i didn't ask instead we spoke nearly every day and looked forward to the time we did spend together.

The fact that my mum ran away to be with someone else didn't effect my childhood as much as her staying and the constant arguments would have. And now 18yrs on I have an extremely close bond with my mum.

everyones different and being far away doesn't make anyone a bad parent.

[the sicilian]

Laxie..

Just to clarify...you and Tim were under the same roof when you left ?

[Laxie]

Laxie..

Just to clarify...you and Tim were under the same roof when you left ?

I spent two years under same roof but no longer with him and children fully aware of that fact...yes.

[the sicilian]

Laxie..

Just to clarify...you and Tim were under the same roof when you left ?

I spent two years under same roof but no longer with him and children fully aware of that fact...yes.

Why didnt you ask him to leave if atmos was bad... are you/were divorced. ? ud obv get house with the kids aspect... you prob been through this but i joined half way through the diary and haven't had time to back track..cliffs would be good