The big thread of personal fail

[AndrewT]

In this thread we details those times when you, yourself, have done a fail. It must be a fail of a personal nature, not something that happened to someone else but when the burden of fail is yours.

I like a lunchtime sushi as much as the next man but, man in sushi shop, I'm really not that fussed about the receipt. I've bought one thing from you and it will all be eaten and gone in 20 minutes. It's also one extra thing for me to deal with.

This is why, when I give you a £20 note for my £7 sushi box, and you give me a £10 note, three pound coins and a receipt, I have to juggle things about - putting the pound coins in my pocket, the £10 note in my wallet and then scrunching up the receipt and throwing it in the bin on my way out.

I feel it's good to have this degree of compartmentalisation in my life, so I know exactly where things are. The benefit of this is that when I come to pay for my coffee this morning, in my still-sleepy state, I can, without using any brainpower whatsoever, take my wallet out and give the coffee lady the £10 note you gave me in change yesterday, whilst I'm fumbling around in the sugar drawer.

I do not appreciate being aroused from my slumber by the interjection of the coffee lady, politely enquiring as to whether I would like to proffer any actual currency in exchange for my coffee as, sadly, reciepts for £7 of sushi are not legal tender.

[millidonk]

For some stories along the same van see my thread of stupid is as stupid does. Some quality stuff in there that people might have forgotten: http://blondepoker.com/forum/index.php?topic=53499.150

[Marky147]

Haha

[Cf]

I spent the entire day last Tuesday talking as if it was Sunday. My gf let me do this all day until she decided to put me out of my misery and inform me that it was in fact Tuesday and not Sunday :/

[Longy]

I spent the entire day last Tuesday talking as if it was Sunday. My gf let me do this all day until she decided to put me out of my misery and inform me that it was in fact Tuesday and not Sunday :/

 FYP

[Dingdell]

In this thread we details those times when you, yourself, have done a fail. It must be a fail of a personal nature, not something that happened to someone else but when the burden of fail is yours.

I like a lunchtime sushi as much as the next man but, man in sushi shop, I'm really not that fussed about the receipt. I've bought one thing from you and it will all be eaten and gone in 20 minutes. It's also one extra thing for me to deal with.

This is why, when I give you a £20 note for my £7 sushi box, and you give me a £10 note, three pound coins and a receipt, I have to juggle things about - putting the pound coins in my pocket, the £10 note in my wallet and then scrunching up the receipt and throwing it in the bin on my way out.

I feel it's good to have this degree of compartmentalisation in my life, so I know exactly where things are. The benefit of this is that when I come to pay for my coffee this morning, in my still-sleepy state, I can, without using any brainpower whatsoever, take my wallet out and give the coffee lady the £10 note you gave me in change yesterday, whilst I'm fumbling around in the sugar drawer.

I do not appreciate being aroused from my slumber by the interjection of the coffee lady, politely enquiring as to whether I would like to proffer any actual currency in exchange for my coffee as, sadly, reciepts for £7 of sushi are not legal tender.

Wow £7 for lunch? £140 a month on lunch? I don't see that as a fail.

The fact that Starbucks were giving out FREE coffee today, so you didn't need to pay for it, is where I see you failing....

[ManuelsMum]

I spent the entire day last Tuesday talking as if it was Sunday. My gf let me do this all day until she decided to put me out of my misery and inform me that it was in fact Tuesday and not Sunday :/

 FYP

<3

[Claw75]

Cool fail story andrew. Here's an even bigger one.

Mate of mine was gonna come to the pub last night but decided to stay at work til after 7.30 instead. Wot a loser.

[AndrewT]

Cool fail story andrew. Here's an even bigger one.

Mate of mine was gonna come to the pub last night but decided to stay at work til after 7.30 instead. Wot a loser.

The funny thing is if I had then the moment of fail wouldn't have happened at coffee this morning, but at the pub last night, which would have made me a double massive loser.

[ManuelsMum]

Cool fail story andrew. Here's an even bigger one.

Mate of mine was gonna come to the pub last night but decided to stay at work til after 7.30 instead. Wot a loser.

You should have called CF, he thought it was Saturday.

[MANTIS01]

Yesterday this nice old lady came to have a look around my gym and to talk about memberships. She had MS and used two sticks so walked real real slow. I respect that spirit in people and thought she could be feeling intimidated so I tried very hard to make a good impression and give her a warm professional service. It took ages to show her around but I was happy to do so and in the end she loved the club saying she would return tomorrow and join up. A job well done.

On the way out we have these double auto doors on a sensor that pop open and then swing closed about 10 secs later when you pass thru. As the lady walked out those doors popped open as usual but cos she was so slow they swung back together too soon trapping her perfectly in the middle. I don't know why they didn't pop open again, but they did not. The woman was very startled and began to cry out for help. I thought zomg and leapt over the counter to run to her aid. However as I ran over the sensor musta kicked into my movement and it popped the doors back open. The woman whose momentum was deffo forward at this point and being unsteady on her feet anyway started falling forward like a tombstone towards the concrete floor.

Frantically arriving at this scene I reached out and grabbed the back of her jumper in order to stop her falling forwards. This did work to some degree but I think the jumper was made of some kinda elastic material because it stretched a lot as she went down and my clenched fist remained high. As her head neared the floor there was a terrible ripping sound as the jumper reached max tension. This panicked me a lot and I insta let go causing the woman to now fall the remaining way. This panicked me even more and as I stumbled forward I tripped on her stick and fell on top of her.

I shit you not this was a scene directly out of Fawlty Towers and I was the star of the show. Surprisingly she didn't come back and join today.

[Claw75]

Cool fail story andrew. Here's an even bigger one.

Mate of mine was gonna come to the pub last night but decided to stay at work til after 7.30 instead. Wot a loser.

The funny thing is if I had then the moment of fail wouldn't have happened at coffee this morning, but at the pub last night, which would have made me a double massive loser.

No it wouldn't, it would have made you hilarious.  with a pint

[TightEnd]

A+ Mantis

thread has potential

[Claw75]

Mantis does your gym have CCTV?

[MANTIS01]

Mantis does your gym have CCTV?

Yes it does and yes we have and yes it is funny.