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ManuelsMum
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« Reply #15 on: June 25, 2012, 01:58:12 PM » |
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When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me i didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life.
J Lennon
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Oxford_HRV
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« Reply #16 on: June 25, 2012, 06:42:28 PM » |
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To win at poker is to not have to play
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BorntoBubble
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« Reply #17 on: June 25, 2012, 10:05:21 PM » |
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smashedagain
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« Reply #18 on: June 26, 2012, 12:26:06 AM » |
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Me too. I'm 42 and just woke our lass up giggling to this. Mooneys always make me laugh uncontrolably too |
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corkeye
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« Reply #19 on: June 30, 2012, 05:50:37 PM » |
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millidonk
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« Reply #21 on: July 06, 2012, 04:19:50 PM » |
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Anyone else missus' been reading these?  |
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smashedagain
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« Reply #22 on: July 06, 2012, 04:26:10 PM » |
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Anyone else missus' been reading these? Yup. Mine has read em twice now. Been getting the sort of stuff out of her that I thought you had to pay good money for in a house of ill repute.  |
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millidonk
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« Reply #23 on: July 06, 2012, 04:31:11 PM » |
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Anyone else missus' been reading these?
Yup. Mine has read em twice now. Been getting the sort of stuff out of her that I thought you had to pay good money for in a house of ill repute. haha class <3 Mrs Herbs. Mine is nearly as fat as me now so I aint fancying it too much tbh, supposed to be utter filth. |
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pokerfan
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« Reply #24 on: July 06, 2012, 04:36:27 PM » |
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You seen the downmarket version ?
50 shades of chav, some excerpts.
"As he approached with those pasty white arms hanging out of his Gola vest, his smile told me it was benefit day and I knew my velour tracksuit would be hanging off the lamp shade tonight."
"It was Dwayne's birthday. I was preparing his special tea of Findus Crispy Pancakes and Pot Noodle. I would let him take me any way he wanted tonight. His favourite position was what he called The Dogs of War. Where he took me from behind and played Call of Duty at the same time."
"Our 6 week anniversary was approaching. This would be my longest relationship without becoming pregnant. I thought of this as he lay on top of me making love. His skinny arms straddled my head like breadsticks either side of an orange."
"As I rubbed his whiter than white back I imagined every mole I felt was spelling out Braille for I love you"
"As I stood in line at the Job Centre thinking of reasons I couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past my pig-like nostrils. It was a mixture of weed, B.O and Lynx Africa. I turned around and there was Dwayne. Our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind the Iceland. He had tied up his Staffy to block the ally way so we wouldn't be disturbed. There was a tramp watching but it just added to the mystery. I knew it was love and my life would never be the same."
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Oxford_HRV
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« Reply #25 on: July 06, 2012, 06:53:26 PM » |
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You seen the downmarket version ?
50 shades of chav, some excerpts.
"As he approached with those pasty white arms hanging out of his Gola vest, his smile told me it was benefit day and I knew my velour tracksuit would be hanging off the lamp shade tonight."
"It was Dwayne's birthday. I was preparing his special tea of Findus Crispy Pancakes and Pot Noodle. I would let him take me any way he wanted tonight. His favourite position was what he called The Dogs of War. Where he took me from behind and played Call of Duty at the same time."
"Our 6 week anniversary was approaching. This would be my longest relationship without becoming pregnant. I thought of this as he lay on top of me making love. His skinny arms straddled my head like breadsticks either side of an orange."
"As I rubbed his whiter than white back I imagined every mole I felt was spelling out Braille for I love you"
"As I stood in line at the Job Centre thinking of reasons I couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past my pig-like nostrils. It was a mixture of weed, B.O and Lynx Africa. I turned around and there was Dwayne. Our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind the Iceland. He had tied up his Staffy to block the ally way so we wouldn't be disturbed. There was a tramp watching but it just added to the mystery. I knew it was love and my life would never be the same."
HAHA F***ING QUALITY |
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To win at poker is to not have to play
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smashedagain
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« Reply #26 on: July 06, 2012, 07:13:09 PM » |
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You seen the downmarket version ?
50 shades of chav, some excerpts.
"As he approached with those pasty white arms hanging out of his Gola vest, his smile told me it was benefit day and I knew my velour tracksuit would be hanging off the lamp shade tonight."
"It was Dwayne's birthday. I was preparing his special tea of Findus Crispy Pancakes and Pot Noodle. I would let him take me any way he wanted tonight. His favourite position was what he called The Dogs of War. Where he took me from behind and played Call of Duty at the same time."
"Our 6 week anniversary was approaching. This would be my longest relationship without becoming pregnant. I thought of this as he lay on top of me making love. His skinny arms straddled my head like breadsticks either side of an orange."
"As I rubbed his whiter than white back I imagined every mole I felt was spelling out Braille for I love you"
"As I stood in line at the Job Centre thinking of reasons I couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past my pig-like nostrils. It was a mixture of weed, B.O and Lynx Africa. I turned around and there was Dwayne. Our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind the Iceland. He had tied up his Staffy to block the ally way so we wouldn't be disturbed. There was a tramp watching but it just added to the mystery. I knew it was love and my life would never be the same."
HAHA F***ING QUALITY lol |
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Claw75
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« Reply #27 on: July 06, 2012, 09:08:38 PM » |
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Anyone else missus' been reading these? I don't have a missus I am aware of the books though |
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"Arguing with idiots is like playing chess with a pigeon....no matter how good you are the bird is going to shit on the board and strut around like it won anyway"
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smashedagain
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« Reply #28 on: July 06, 2012, 10:23:13 PM » |
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Anyone else missus' been reading these? I don't have a missus I am aware of the books though Do owt for ya? |
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Claw75
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« Reply #29 on: July 06, 2012, 10:41:43 PM » |
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Anyone else missus' been reading these? I don't have a missus I am aware of the books though Do owt for ya? meh - they're not quite what I expected - certainly not as filthy as the hype suggests! |
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"Arguing with idiots is like playing chess with a pigeon....no matter how good you are the bird is going to shit on the board and strut around like it won anyway"
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