Phrases you hate in poker

[aaron1867]

"I know I am in front, call"

Although you know you are in front, but yet you call, not re-raise?

"Value"

Hate this at cash. Everyone is in pot for £15 you have 9/2 off & have to call.

"How much you got behind"

Not sure if I hate this, but there are numerous players who just say it, but aren't going to play their hand anyway. Time wasting obv.

[cambridgealex]

I have to see where I'm at

[Woodsey]

They lost the flip and keep screaming 'but I was ahead' with a tear in their eye because they are tilted and you obviously made a terrible call.

Fuck you, shove your couple of % up your arse  

[Longy]

"I knew you had that" or something along those lines. Normally happens after someone has paid someone off with an inferior hand. One of these days I am going to lose it when that happens.

[Tal]

When someone nudges you and makes a Sid James style comment about the dealer or valet, expecting you to be a knuckle-dragging flesh-ogler like them.

Made even worse when they are obviously in earshot.

"She's a bit better on the eye than that last dealer. Wouldn't even mind if she out-drew me!"

"Cor! Have a look at that!"

"Wouldn't kick her out of bed, eh?!"

No sir. No you wouldn't. I suspect primarily because even were Stephen Hawking right and a theoretically infitite number of alternative realities exited, there would be none in which you would stand a chance of engaging in any form of carnal activities with the object of your slobbering prose.

It annoys me on a number of levels.

[Marky147]

Great thread

[pvas2]

One time!

[pokerfan]

That's poker 

[millidonk]

"Can you please leave your seat sir, you have already been knocked out of the tournament"

[david3103]

C'mon dealer, give us some decent cards....

The very missed Jilly once turned her head slightly away from one such request and said, slightly under her breath, "there's no point in dealing you good cards because you wouldn't have a clue what to do with them"
There were a few adverbs and adjectives in there too.
I loved her even more for that.

[aaron1867]

Barry Neville classic:

"I just don't believe it"

[corkeye]

'I would have won that pot' usually after a huge pot has played out to the river with two massive premium hands and the guy who speaks out had absolute junk.

The other one that riles me is 'this dealer always deals me sick bad beats' or something along those lines. It's usually said genuinely as if the dealer is doing some sort of black magic in the cards.

[MC]

Referring to money as 'points'

Obv 'Thank You' or 'Sorry' when someone beats you in a pot

'Met'

'Get'

When someone says 'pwned' in person

[paulhouk03]

I raise All of my betting discs

[Tal]

Referring to money as 'points'

Obv 'Thank You' or 'Sorry' when someone beats you in a pot

'Met'

'Get'

When someone says 'pwned' in person

Surely not the Luke Schwarz v David Benyamine hand from the Premier League?

"In your eye David Benyamine, you arrogant guy. You think you can angle me? You just got so pwned."

It's completely unnatural but that's part of why it cracks me up.