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Author Topic: Worst Christmas Cracker Jokes  (Read 2818 times)
bobAlike
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« on: December 25, 2012, 12:00:18 PM »

This thread is dedicated to all the Christmas Cracker Joker writers from around the world who horrify us each and every year.

Here's a couple I had the displeasure of hearing/reading today.

Q. What happened when the wizard turned a naughty boy into a hare?
A. He's still rabibiting on about it.

Q. Why did the man with the pony tail go to the doctors?
A. He was feeling a little hoarse
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Tal
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« Reply #1 on: December 25, 2012, 01:41:01 PM »

I went to the local market and got a job lot for about 10p each.

First one says...

What lies at the bottom of the sea and quivers? A woolly jumper

Bloody discount crackers...

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pokerfan
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« Reply #2 on: December 25, 2012, 03:22:21 PM »

Q. Who conquered half the world, laying eggs along the way ?

A. Attila the hen.

Q. What did the tie say to the hat ?

A. You go on ahead and I'll hang around.
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rfgqqabc
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« Reply #3 on: December 25, 2012, 04:25:30 PM »

What wobbles and flies?

A jellycopter!
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Tal
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« Reply #4 on: December 25, 2012, 04:55:37 PM »

Actual one:

What time is it when an elephant sits on your TV?

Time to get a new TV


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Waz1892
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« Reply #5 on: December 25, 2012, 05:36:04 PM »

What did Father Christmas say to Mrs Christmas as he stared out of the window....

"Looks like reindeer"
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Carpe Diem
bobAlike
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« Reply #6 on: December 25, 2012, 05:42:53 PM »

Doctor, doctor, I fell like a Christmas bell.

Well take these pills and if they don't work give me a ring.
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« Reply #7 on: December 25, 2012, 05:49:43 PM »

What do you get if you cross a pig and a centipede ?

Bacon and legs.

That might just be the greatest, saw it posted on twitter.
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bobAlike
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« Reply #8 on: December 25, 2012, 05:59:07 PM »

That has no place here. Too good.
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Tal
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« Reply #9 on: December 25, 2012, 06:09:50 PM »

What did Cinderella say when her photos didn’t arrive on time?

One day my prints will come.
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smashedagain
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« Reply #10 on: December 25, 2012, 06:24:44 PM »

Which of the Christmas foods can't you trust?

The min spies
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david3103
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« Reply #11 on: December 25, 2012, 07:55:33 PM »

Why does an elephant have four feet?

He'd look really silly with four inches
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« Reply #12 on: December 25, 2012, 08:11:24 PM »

Why does an elephant have four feet?

He'd look really silly with four inches
lol. That's never come out of a cracker
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bobAlike
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« Reply #13 on: December 25, 2012, 08:55:27 PM »

Did you hear about the cross-eyed head master?

He couldn't control his pupils.
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david3103
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« Reply #14 on: December 25, 2012, 09:13:39 PM »

Why does an elephant have four feet?

He'd look really silly with four inches
lol. That's never come out of a cracker

No, but on my Mother's life I read it first on an ice-lolly stick.
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