Ask me anything about coming out as bisexual

[wazz]

Don't know if we ever have 'ask me anything' threads in this forum but they're popular on reddit and 2p2 so i thought i'd give it a go.

Going to bed now and will be away all weekend but will be able to answer questions most of tomorrow and then again tuesday onwards.

Those who know me IRL would confirm I'm not homosexual-acting (those aggressive queers hate the term 'camp', le sigh) and as I'm romantically much more interested in girls it doesn't actually play a big part in my life; I realised about 6 months after I first realised I liked girls, and since then it's given me next to nothing in terms of problems.

I first came out at school when I was 14 to four trusted school-friends, the next day everyone knew, after 2 weeks of taunting (and realising it would be pretty difficult for me to stay in the rugby team) I took my opportunity when someone asked me 'Mike, you're just doing this for the attention, aren't you?' and retracted it. Then at age 18 I came out again to everyone at my school at the leaving party.

I'm not out to my parents but would do so (not particularly happily, but w/e) if I were to have a long-term male partner, which I view as relatively unlikely. All my close friends know; I 'officially' came out properly on FB, twitter and 2p2 a while ago, like a year or something.

[Woodsey]

Fair play to you mate, not easy to do. One of my top 2 mates is bisexual, but mostly spending his time with guys. He lived with a girl for a long time and didn't really come out until he was 30 or so.

He is someone I go out on the beers with all the time and go traveling with sometimes as he has the same wanderlust as me. I really couldn't give a toss whether he is gay straight or whatever, he is still the same top mate i met 25 years ago irrespective of his sexuality.

 

[nirvana]

Also here if anyone wants to ask me about heterosexuality

[cambridgealex]

Gowan then another 5%

Jk fair play.

[wazz]

Also here if anyone wants to ask me about heterosexuality

What's it like not having to worry about whether or not you're the same as most people around you? That you're not a freak and a weird dude?

What's it like coming to terms with the fact that yes, you're the same as most of those around you, and no-one is going to lay into you the rest of your life, potentially, about being the same as everyone?

What's it like not having a constant reminder, day in day out, that those around you are different, that some might never accept you for who you are, that some people might think you're an abomination, and that many people don't think you have the same rights as everyone else?

What's it like not having to deal with those people that are completely ok with opposite sexes displaying their affection or desire in public, but then turn around and say when you want to do those things 'that's disgusting, i'm ok with it in theory, just don't do it in public', as if to remind you that you yes, you're normal and can do the thing you're used to doing and like doing?

I could go on. Just to make the point, I'm narcissistic and an attention whore and need to get to 300 posts so I can post a marketplace thread, and bumping old strategy threads is a slow process as I'm trying to put effort into most of my posts, so I thought I'd talk about something close to my heart. I realise that this response could have been entirely innocent but I see it from time to time and it riles me up a little, the idea that because you're vaguely ok with it, and that society isn't as f***ed as it was ten years ago, that there's nothing remarkable about being LGBT (still not sure what the Q means), and that as a result it shouldn't get talked about. Well, I'm basically ok with my sexuality and have never received any real homophobic abuse, but the majority of the LGBT have suffered massively, often during the incredibly stressful years of being a hormonal teenager. Suicide rates are much, much higher in the gay community. We're part of a society that is described as 'heteronormative' - if you're straight, you just don't think about it, but if you're gay or otherwise, you have a constant reminder in the form of *everything* around you that you're not the same as everyone else and not everyone else may accept you. Adverts using sex to sell, tv shows, couples walking hand in hand.

Rant over.

[nirvana]

Also here if anyone wants to ask me about heterosexuality

What's it like not having to worry about whether or not you're the same as most people around you? That you're not a freak and a weird dude?

What's it like coming to terms with the fact that yes, you're the same as most of those around you, and no-one is going to lay into you the rest of your life, potentially, about being the same as everyone?

What's it like not having a constant reminder, day in day out, that those around you are different, that some might never accept you for who you are, that some people might think you're an abomination, and that many people don't think you have the same rights as everyone else?

What's it like not having to deal with those people that are completely ok with opposite sexes displaying their affection or desire in public, but then turn around and say when you want to do those things 'that's disgusting, i'm ok with it in theory, just don't do it in public', as if to remind you that you yes, you're normal and can do the thing you're used to doing and like doing?

I could go on. Just to make the point, I'm narcissistic and an attention whore and need to get to 300 posts so I can post a marketplace thread, and bumping old strategy threads is a slow process as I'm trying to put effort into most of my posts, so I thought I'd talk about something close to my heart. I realise that this response could have been entirely innocent but I see it from time to time and it riles me up a little, the idea that because you're vaguely ok with it, and that society isn't as f***ed as it was ten years ago, that there's nothing remarkable about being LGBT (still not sure what the Q means), and that as a result it shouldn't get talked about. Well, I'm basically ok with my sexuality and have never received any real homophobic abuse, but the majority of the LGBT have suffered massively, often during the incredibly stressful years of being a hormonal teenager. Suicide rates are much, much higher in the gay community. We're part of a society that is described as 'heteronormative' - if you're straight, you just don't think about it, but if you're gay or otherwise, you have a constant reminder in the form of *everything* around you that you're not the same as everyone else and not everyone else may accept you. Adverts using sex to sell, tv shows, couples walking hand in hand.

Rant over.

I'm not the same as everybody around me either, in fact I'm unique, and it's OK

[MANTIS01]

I've always wondered that once a bi-sexual gets married can you still be a bi-sexual? Wife would go nuts imo.

[Tal]

Marrying someone doesn't change your sexuality (in before "just your libido"). It is a commitment to one person.

Fair play to you, wazz, for your candour. I've never met nirvana but can confirm that even by his posts on blonde, he wouldn't easily be described as 'normal'.

Me on the other hand...

[Jon MW]

Marrying someone doesn't change your sexuality (in before "just your libido"). It is a commitment to one person.

Fair play to you, wazz, for your candour. I've never met nirvana but can confirm that even by his posts on blonde, he wouldn't easily be described as 'normal'.

Me on the other hand...

I don't think I've ever met anyone who is normal.

[George2Loose]

Any particular reason why you've not told your parents. As a parent myself is be pretty sad and disappointed if any of my children felt they could tell the world but not me. Would they not take it well?

[Tal]

Marrying someone doesn't change your sexuality (in before "just your libido"). It is a commitment to one person.

Fair play to you, wazz, for your candour. I've never met nirvana but can confirm that even by his posts on blonde, he wouldn't easily be described as 'normal'.

Me on the other hand...

I don't think I've ever met anyone who is normal.

Indeed.

[mulhuzz]

I don't have any questions, but I will say I appreciate your candor and this is the most interesting way to reach 300 posts I've seen so far.

I only hope you'll continue to be as constructive once you've reached that milestone as I've enjoyed your posts thus far

[RED-DOG]

Sigh....

Everyone is an individual except me.

[millidonk]

I'm narcissistic and an attention whore

Would never have guessed..

Sexiest man in the world & sexiest woman in the world? for me it's Ryan Gosling & Mila Kunis ainec. #ManCrush

I think these days your average joe in the UK isn't remotely bothered about whatever your sexuality is. Who even has time to care? and those that care in a negative way, why would anyone be bothered by what they think?

I'm not a fan of any forms of PDA in general, this could be down to never being loved as a child, spending 8 yrs in the military or just my general squeamish nature.. I just don't like seeing people kissing and canoodling in public, be they boy-boy,boy-girl,girl-dog etc.

#dendrophiliaFTW (in private of course)

Don't worry Red, I am not an individual either, so that at least makes two of us. You do like picking other people's scabs and cold pizza right?

[DaveShoelace]

Do you find that poker is more homophobic as an industry/community than most? Jason Somerville is the only openly gay male player I know of, which seems incredibly disproportionate.