Ask me anything about coming out as bisexual

[kinboshi]

I also think Aaron makes a good point, just a bit too Aarony as Tal says.

The reason why I think its a good point is simply that poker is a really small world, and you are quite well known within it. All it takes is for you to have a big result and they could find out because of that. For example you make a WSOP final table, your mum tells your auntie maureen, she googles your name and finds this thread.

I travelled all the way to the other side of the world a few years ago to Brisbane and the first Brit I met out there, upon hearing I play poker, asked me if I knew Barry Neville of all people.

Was he owed some money?

[flushthemout]

"Do you want to buy some Fireworks"

[aaron1867]

I don't mind telling strangers, but I don't have the sort of relationship with my parents where I feel comfortable talking about any aspect of my sexual life. Do I wish I did? Er, no. Do I wish I did to the extent that I could come out to them? Vaguely. If I was gay, it would be much more of an issue, as I would be hiding a major part of my life, and I almost certainly would have come out by now. But I don't have sex with dudes often, am not camp, and it does not determine my lifestyle in any significant way, and I quite simply do not feel the need to come out to them.

Again, without knowing the specifics of my relationship with my parents, I'd like you to respect my choice and leave it at that.



Wazz, some if this isn't making sense to me, really. I think you are excusing the reason you haven't told parents, because you are "bi-sexual" and perhaps you are hoping you meet a lady and therefore never have to tell them? The comments about camp made me chuckle, perhaps because you are less feminine than other gay or bisexual guys, that is making it ok.

I also think you are a but confused here also that you say it doesn't affect your life in anyway, but you seem to want tell a complete set of strangers about something that doesn't affect your lifestyle?

As others have mentioned a quick search on Google or a whisper here and there could see anyone get there hands on this topic.

Also, have you had any questions from players about this since you payed here?

But generally people do not give a toss about gays at the poker table, you will just get lots if innuendos.

[kinboshi]

But generally people do not give a toss about gays at the poker table, you will just get lots if innuendos.

Hope that was intentional.

[DaveShoelace]

But generally people do not give a toss about gays at the poker table, you will just get lots if innuendos.

Hope that was intentional.

[claypole]

But generally people do not give a toss about gays at the poker table, you will just get lots if innuendos.

Hope that was intentional.

Well Aaron. Many of your posts I disagree with, many times I gave nearly replied...lhowever thanks, I have literally spat my coffee about across the room at that one - comedy genius or unintended I'd love to know.

[wazz]

I don't mind telling strangers, but I don't have the sort of relationship with my parents where I feel comfortable talking about any aspect of my sexual life. Do I wish I did? Er, no. Do I wish I did to the extent that I could come out to them? Vaguely. If I was gay, it would be much more of an issue, as I would be hiding a major part of my life, and I almost certainly would have come out by now. But I don't have sex with dudes often, am not camp, and it does not determine my lifestyle in any significant way, and I quite simply do not feel the need to come out to them.

Again, without knowing the specifics of my relationship with my parents, I'd like you to respect my choice and leave it at that.



Wazz, some if this isn't making sense to me, really. I think you are excusing the reason you haven't told parents, because you are "bi-sexual" and perhaps you are hoping you meet a lady and therefore never have to tell them? The comments about camp made me chuckle, perhaps because you are less feminine than other gay or bisexual guys, that is making it ok.

I also think you are a but confused here also that you say it doesn't affect your life in anyway, but you seem to want tell a complete set of strangers about something that doesn't affect your lifestyle?

As others have mentioned a quick search on Google or a whisper here and there could see anyone get there hands on this topic.

Also, have you had any questions from players about this since you payed here?

But generally people do not give a toss about gays at the poker table, you will just get lots if innuendos.

Your first paragraph is bang on. I do not want to tell my parents, that much should be clear. If I can get away with doing so, then that's great. If I get a long-term male partner, I'll suck it up.

Being less camp means it's easier to hide. Hiding things is the problem. If I had to deal with the stress of acting very differently around my parents than I did around my friends, I might prefer to get rid of that stress by telling them and allowing to be myself around them. As it is I am myself around them.

I don't mind telling strangers on the internet for a couple of reasons. First of all, I'm a very open person and don't discussing my personal life with people I don't know. Maybe that's a bad thing. I dunno, I don't care, it's me. Sometimes I am conscious I overshare a little so I try to hold it back.

Secondly, I wanted to get myself known to the blonde community relatively quickly for reasons already expressed itt.

Lastly, as it's something I'm comfortable with myself, I hoped I could bring some light onto the issue, and perhaps make it easier for other blondites or poker players in general to feel comfortable coming out. If I could achieve that I'd be delighted.

I don't get asked about this at the tables very often - I think the last time was at a home game 5 years ago when a friend sorta shocked me by asking me about it in front of like 5 other people I didn't know very well. I find that sort of situation slightly awkward and would prefer if someone wanted to talk to me about it they asked me off the table, in private. Aside from anything else, when I'm discussing this, I like to think about it in detail, and I don't want poker to be the distraction from the thing I enjoy talking about.

Not only are my parents generally technologically illiterate, they don't really care about my poker career and I don't think they brag to any of their friends about what a successful poker player I am, so I doubt it would ever get back to them if they did. If it did, well, like I said, that would suck, but less than me telling them as I really really really do not want to tell them as that would be super awkward and painful and unnecessary in my eyes.

I would like to ask you why this has got your goat up so much.

[aaron1867]

Hey.

It's not got my goat mate, I'm just worried how accessible this could be to your parents and why the last people you tell the parents. There are obvious reasons, but it's clear they will be the last to find out and wondered why, etc.  I still think disrespectful is the right word to use here and G2L makes a good point.

Is there any reason you chose to tell poker players, when perhaps like you say it's not that evident that you are bi?

I also find that when people say they are bi, they later on turn gay completely, do u think this could happen with you? Also when did you know?

[Woodsey]

  seriously aaron wtf 

[Acidmouse]

seriously aaron wtf 

award winning poster on here...he is giving what tighy wanted.

[MANTIS01]

If I get a long-term male partner I'll suck it up.

Another beauty, thread keeps delivering

[wazz]

Hey.

It's not got my goat mate, I'm just worried how accessible this could be to your parents and why the last people you tell the parents. There are obvious reasons, but it's clear they will be the last to find out and wondered why, etc.  I still think disrespectful is the right word to use here and G2L makes a good point.

Is there any reason you chose to tell poker players, when perhaps like you say it's not that evident that you are bi?

I also find that when people say they are bi, they later on turn gay completely, do u think this could happen with you? Also when did you know?

Like I said I wish I could have a better relationship with my parents and I would almost certainly tell them if I was just gay but things are more complicated than that. I do regret that they may feel upset by my not telling them but not enough to tell them pre-emptively and I have a reasonable expectation that they won't find out unless it's from me.

I choose to tell poker players because poker is my living and I'd like to be able to share this piece of information about me with those I work with day in day out.

I've always found that strange, that some people use bisexuality as a stepping stone. I don't see it as that. Perhaps I've been privileged to have been stable in my sexuality from day 1, but I attribute it more to heightened self-awareness than stability. When people say 'I don't believe in labels' I immediately think 'yeah, ok, you're bisexual, but you're scared of the word'. In my view, people who have been attracted to both sexes at some point in their life are bisexual, simple as. The fact that they may not find any dudes attractive right now doesn't stop them being bi. So no, it could never happen with me. If I got to a point in my life and realised I hadn't fancied any guys for a number of years, I would find it weird, but I wouldn't start claiming I was straight. I think it very, very unlikely I would ever stop fancying girls.

[TightEnd]

seriously aaron wtf 

award winning poster on here...he is giving what tighy wanted.

Aaron often means well but struggles to express himself in ways that would not be considered over-direct and too abrupt by many.

I don't wish for anything, well possibly I wish for never having done any advent calendars, but live and learn

[DaveShoelace]

seriously aaron wtf 

award winning poster on here...he is giving what tighy wanted.

Aaron often means well but struggles to express himself in ways that would not be considered over-direct and too abrupt by many.

Click to see full-size image.

FWIW all the posts I have seen from Aaron I do believe he has the best of intentions also, its just the filter between what goes in the head and out the mouth is non existent.

 

[MANTIS01]

Aaron's posts itt have been normal and perfectly within the realms of what is acceptable imo. The guy has debated candidly and provoked some good discussion points. I mean despite wazz protesting he has actually gone on to provide some meaningful responses to aaron's questions. I would say to the "many" that it's a bad idea to try and pressure candid members into following some kinda posting ettiquette because the forum would become dull as ditchwater. Wazz has the balls to start this thread and and he invites an open discussion about his sexuality. Why expect every question to be sensitive and compassionate in a thread entitled ask me anything? Just unrealistic and this continual aaron negativity makes no sense. If we were having this discussion in Betty's tea-room on a Sunday afternoon perhaps I would agree but not on t'internet social media.