Funny stories from nights on the lash

[Woodsey]

Just heard a good  one from a mate.

On Saturday he had a night out with the boys, at some point late in the evening he basically can't remember anything. He got home at 6am without any trousers and his socks were wet, his wife was not surprisingly wtf? 

He has no clue what happened after about 3am ish lol

[DaveShoelace]

How's that a story? The best part is missing.

[AndrewT]

On his way home from the pub he waded into a lake to save a dog, but forgot to take his socks off first?

[Woodsey]

How's that a story? The best part is missing.

Tell us yours then 

[DaveShoelace]

How's that a story? The best part is missing.

Tell us yours then 

I went out, then some stuff happened, then I got back in. As you can imagine, my missus was not too pleased.

[Woodsey]

How's that a story? The best part is missing.

Tell us yours then 

I went out, then some stuff happened, then I got back in. As you can imagine, my missus was not too pleased.

 

[celtic]

How's that a story? The best part is missing.

Tell us yours then 

I will, after you've told us yours

[George2Loose]

How's that a story? The best part is missing.

Tell us yours then 

I went out, then some stuff happened, then I got back in. As you can imagine, my missus was not too pleased.

You've forgotten the best bit. You forgot what stuff it was. Funny tho lol

[Woodsey]

How's that a story? The best part is missing.

Tell us yours then  

I will, after you've told us yours

Ok boss here's one.

When I was a student I worked at Grosvenor House Hotel in London for a summer, as a waiter in one of their restaurants.

Went out on the hoy with a few Italian lads that worked there one night, pretty much had memory loss from pounding whiskeys at some point. The next morning I woke up in a flower bed in Hyde Park opposite the hotel I worked, the flower bed had roses in which they had not long since fertilised with horse shit, so I basically kipped in horse shit  

Was supposed to be in work at 6am, got there about 6.30am trying to hide from the boss as I looked a right state. Of course the boss is the first person I bump into with me looking a right mess and stinking of horse shit, nearly got fired but instead he gave me the shittiest cleaning jobs that day just to make me suffer  

But there's a few hours of blackout, maybe I missed out the best bit?  

[mondatoo]

I went into work one Monday and told the boss I wanted extra responsibilities; what I really wanted was extra money as someone in my department had retired and I knew I'd get some of his duties. He agreed to a pay rise and my 1st new responsibility was to co-interview new applicants for a junior position.

That night Newcastle beat Man U and I got mortal drunk, ended up in a strippers and probs got home at 6am, meant to be at work at 8 with interviews starting at 9. Slept through the alarm, woke up, "FUCK", looked at phone and it was after 10, oops. Snap rang a taxi, got dressed and left the house, had to walk past all of Management who were just staring at me quite clearly thinking "what an absolute joking rofling punter this twat is" (well they were mostly posh so words to that effect). I was very much still pretty intoxicated, walked into the interview room, my co-interviewer says "You absolutely stink of drink, go and get a coffee and sort yourself out before we interview the next person"

My response... "I don't drink Coffee".

[gouty]

One of my best nights out was when I was lying on the sofa on a Monday evening at home. Phone rings and my mate explains he is 1 player short for pool match at the pub less than a ten minute walk from my house.

My Mrs starts moaning saying stuff like "you have been on the piss all weekend, you don't go out early in the week etc...."

Anyway, not one to let the lads down I persuade her to calm down and let me walk to the pub for a couple of beers and play in the team.

Now she is used to me playing poker all night and coming in the following lunchtime or something but my phone rings on the Tuesday afternoon and I wake up in Barcalona!

She laughs about it now but at the time she was pretty raging as I even used her card to book the flight apparently. What a bender that was. All the best piss ups are last minute jobs.

[mondatoo]

One of my best nights out was when I was lying on the sofa on a Monday evening at home. Phone rings and my mate explains he is 1 player short for pool match at the pub less than a ten minute walk from my house.

My Mrs starts moaning saying stuff like "you have been on the piss all weekend, you don't go out early in the week etc...."

Anyway, not one to let the lads down I persuade her to calm down and let me walk to the pub for a couple of beers and play in the team.

Now she is used to me playing poker all night and coming in the following lunchtime or something but my phone rings on the Tuesday afternoon and I wake up in Barcalona!

She laughs about it now but at the time she was pretty raging as I even used her card to book the flight apparently. What a bender that was. All the best piss ups are last minute jobs.

So true.

[BorntoBubble]

One of my best nights out was when I was lying on the sofa on a Monday evening at home. Phone rings and my mate explains he is 1 player short for pool match at the pub less than a ten minute walk from my house.

My Mrs starts moaning saying stuff like "you have been on the piss all weekend, you don't go out early in the week etc...."

Anyway, not one to let the lads down I persuade her to calm down and let me walk to the pub for a couple of beers and play in the team.

Now she is used to me playing poker all night and coming in the following lunchtime or something but my phone rings on the Tuesday afternoon and I wake up in Barcalona!

She laughs about it now but at the time she was pretty raging as I even used her card to book the flight apparently. What a bender that was. All the best piss ups are last minute jobs.

So true.

100% and them unexpected nights work out better than the ones you plan for months

[Woodsey]

So true, I honestly find new year eve one of the worst nights of the year with all the advance planning, really cba with it. It was even worse when I was younger and there was massive pressure to pull as well 

[BorntoBubble]

So true, I honestly find new year eve one of the worst nights of the year with all the advance planning, really cba with it. It was even worse when I was younger and there was massive pressure to pull as well 

When i hit 18 i was like New year is going to be the best night ever after 16/17 being total let downs struggling to get in pubs and parties etc. When i was 18 i had the worst new year ever was so boring every where was over priced etc boring.

So when i was 19/20 i worked both years and earned about £250 for like 8 hours work was pretty chuffed with that at the time i counted it as a net £500 gain.