Message from Pokerstars

Dear Customer

Firstly we would like to thank you for choosing to use Pokerstars as your chosen poker site.

The reason we are writing to you today is that you have now used are site for the past two years and your result have been abysmal. We cannot understand how you have managed to only lose circa $500 over this period.

We are constantly trying to improve are software and experience that you as a valid customer receive.

We have noticed that when you play SnG,s you are actually putting yourself in a winning position – but as you may have noticed we have rectified this by making your MTT play almost impossible – though we did let you final table and win once.

With regard to letting you put five hours of play into an MTT – and when you’re lying constantly in the top 10% and thinking that final table is not that far away – you may have noticed are new ploy to keep your wits about you.

Though you are down to the last 50 of 1000 players and sitting in a good position with 100BB – are new surprise is to put a new player on your table with 80BB who though they have been playing for the same five hours has now decided on a new strategy.

As you are aware the cards dealt are randomly generated – so when this player who is not short stacked just starts open shoving pre flop eight hands on the trot and taking down the pot by showing cards such as 92.84,j2,93,76,102,84 we think that because he open shoves for an eighth time it is not unreasonable for you to snap call with AQs – though we would like to point out here that there 72o does stand a more than reasonable chance of hitting a 2 on the river.

Please note that we still let you cash for 3x buy in – thus allowing you to be able to torture yourself again tonight.

Also we did note that you recently played one of are big events that somehow managed to attract 6500 players – we expect you were very happy when the tournament was down to 100 players and you were sitting pretty – but yes we got you again and though you were happy to reshove with AA and get called by 64o only to be mullered on the flop by 666 – we thought you might have been ecstatic that you received 4x your buy in.

Finally we have noted that though you have won four figure sums on other sites you are consistent in your blind faith that you can win on Pokerstars – rest assured we will endeavor to make your dreams a continual nightmare.

Good Luck at the felt