Corporate Disillusionment – Life Advice Needed

[arbboy]

Think of the pension Woodsey!

[Woodsey]

Think of the pension Woodsey!

It’s number 2 after raspberry vodka! 

[Mark_Porter]

I think whilst the £100k mark for people in the corporate game is an ambitious goal its not very realistic by the time you are 30. Probably less than 5% of people will be getting that, even less for the under 30’s.

You also gotta do your time mate, the guys I know earning that sort of coin in the corporate game are almost exclusively 40+. There is also a huge bottleneck for the big jobs, hence the need to do your time, demonstrate you are good enough and worthy over a long period of time versus your peers.

One word of warning though, the more money you earn=the more bullshit you have to deal with. I had a great life up until 4 years ago, earned decent coin and had a relatively easy life. Moved up the greasy pole, got a lot more money but also 10x more shit. I don’t even know which direction the shit is coming from some days I’m so plastered in it. I’ll tolerate it for now for a few years to get a few quid in the bank, but I’ll definitely slide back down the pole in a few years to the easier life.

If you are earning enough for a decent life less=more imo.....

I never thought it was achievable by 30 but, as you say, just wanted to keep climbing the rungs and get in the conversation at some point in working life.

Have put my career above everything for last 8 years, moved 200 miles away from family and friends and put the hours in. I think part of this is a realisation of priorities kicking in as work becomes less fulfilling.

Either that or it's all just Monday blues and were back on the grind tomorrow.

[Woodsey]

Mate I moved from Preston to Nottingham after uni, didn’t know a bean just went with it. I always did ‘alright’ but it was only when I reached my mid 30’s I started to feel more comfortable and earning more cash. Part of the younger generations problem is wanting things too fast and unrealistic expectations.

I went through the same thing as you in my 30-35 year age, drifted for a couple of years then just realised life isn’t perfect and got my head down realsling I had a decent life and just cracked on with it. I mostly enjoy the challenge of my job but there are a few pain in the arses on the way. That’s just real life unless you are in the fortunate minority to find a job that is your passion that doesn’t have accompanying pain in the arses. Reminder more Money = pain in the arse.

I still get the Monday blues, but I’ve worked my bollocks off enough over the years to earn a ‘work’ trip to Venice for the rest of this week, such is life on the greasy pole, I fkn deserve it mind you   

[arbboy]

If you're thinking of teaching then now would be a good time - lots of £26k bursaries around for lots of subjects, so finances shouldn't be a huge problem.
getintoteaching.education.gov.uk/funding-and-salary/overview


EDIT: forgot to add, it's also a good time because if you try and it doesn't work out you've still got enough time to establish another career before you retire.

My dad sat me down and said he never wanted me to be a teacher. He was a maths teacher and got to deputy head level in his career before retiring 5 years ago. I think I would have ended up following that path if it wasn't for his advice. He basically wanted to see me make good money rather than struggle along as a teacher. Moving to teaching would mean taking a big pay cut initially, just not sure I could stomach that even if it made me happier.

Hey Mate,

Feel your pain, I'm 1 year younger and was feeling exactly like you described - at a crossroads - about 1 yr ago, it's very depressing and kinda lonely so it's great you're asking people advice and talking to people about it.

I've always worked for myself, I always thought of corporate life just as you described it, I know guys who just absolutely crush it in that life though and big respect to them, I am sure I would really struggle. On the other hand self employed defo isn't for everyone, you carry the stresses and pressures of what you're doing with you everywhere, you never really get an evening off let alone a day off and you're never able to not check your phone for 1 hour, no security either you're always just 1 bad month, or 1 big disaster away from not being able to pay the bills.

I think the main reason people who say they'd really like to go self employed, dont do it, is because i) when they think about it, the above reason just isn't for them (and that's nothing to be ashamed off, that's just who you are) and ii) because the opportunity isn't there - like you said its a lot harder to take a big risk when you've got 2 young kids and a mortgage.

Having said all that, if you're feeling disillusioned with life and think you can handle it, then I would say absolutely go for it - working for yourself is the absolute best, I love it and it would take obscene amounts of money to make me work for someone else. From what you said about corp life sounds like you're ready for a change and I'd not be surprised if you crushed it, gogogogogogo! 

Thank you. Perhaps I need to give branching out alone some real thought. There has been the odd opportunity in the past but all have required significant investment upfront. I have never really given it more than a cursory thought though and know there is a lot of help out there for that sort of thing.

The highlighted sentence is the key to the whole thing.  You sound like you are obsessed with a 'keeping up with the Jones'' lifestyle where material things are so important over your own enjoyment of your career and happiness.  Most people who do this spend most of their wages buying stuff they don't need to make themselves happy because their daily grind tilts the shit out of them.  You spend most of your life working and earning.  If you don't enjoy what you do you will never make big money.  Someone will always love the game more than you, work harder and advance quicker than you if you just chase the cash.  If i offered you £100k a year now to spend 12 hours a day running around betting shops putting bets on for me you sound like you would do it just to say/brag about having a £100k a year salary in your career.

I know this sounds stupid as i have been a pro gambler/poker player for 15 years nearly but i would have been financially much better off if i had stayed on the chartered accountancy route i took straight out of uni until 26 when i took a 50% pay cut to join bet365 and actually enter a career that i really enjoyed and was massively passionate about rather than just do a job for the $$$$.  I never entered the gambling industry to make more money i did it because i love the game.  Always have and always will. 99% of the time i literally bounce out of bed gagging to get started every day.  By 30 i was earning close to what you think you should be but like Woodsey says i was on call 247 effectively as a trading director.deputy TD for a couple of firms.  I was lucky as i got to live in stunning islands abroad on sandy beaches living the corporate champagne lifestyle whilst i was under this pressure but i always wanted to have a go myself and work for myself and not have to deal with the corporate bullshit that grinds you down.  I went for it, its tough and the hours/stress are way more than the corporate world but you can't buy the feeling of working for yourself and being 100% responsible for your own direction long term.

The key is to work out whether you want to spend your life doing something you hate for more money or do something you love for less money. 

[SuuPRlim]

Good points there Arb.

When I was 12-18 i wanted to be an actor, was my absolute life's passion, got accepted to Central too, lost a bit of drive and decided not to bother, got into restaurants & gambling (!) I kinda just accepted a few years ago that all you can do in life is make the best decisions you can at the point they are put in front of you, you could regret doing or not doing a hundred different things, spend so much time worrying about what might or might not happen, you can drive yourself mad.

Start with the basics, keep it simple...

- you're not satisfied with what you're doing at the moment
   
      - make a change.

Doesn't have to be go self employed just has to be a change, make something happen, like Arb says, chase the dream, not the money.

[arbboy]

Good points there Arb.

When I was 12-18 i wanted to be an actor, was my absolute life's passion, got accepted to Central too, lost a bit of drive and decided not to bother, got into restaurants & gambling (!) I kinda just accepted a few years ago that all you can do in life is make the best decisions you can at the point they are put in front of you, you could regret doing or not doing a hundred different things, spend so much time worrying about what might or might not happen, you can drive yourself mad.

Start with the basics, keep it simple...

- you're not satisfied with what you're doing at the moment
  
      - make a change.

Doesn't have to be go self employed just has to be a change, make something happen, like Arb says, chase the dream, not the money.

By chasing what you are passionate about long term i think you stand a better chance of earning the big dollars eventually.  You have to love the game to get top class at any role/job.  If you are not passionate you wont stick the hours in to be better than the field and just stay in the pack frustrated and going nowhere.

I have spent the last week in hospital with my mum and gran looking after my 96 year old grandad.  He loves the fact i love what i do because he spent 50 years of his life after serving in WW2 doing jobs he hated but had no choice to do to pay the bills.  Things were different back then.  He always said to me 'listen son if you love what you do the bills will always get paid if you are talented enough because you will make it happen if you want it enough'.  When you see him in hospital struggling to live it makes you realise life is far too short to do stuff you don't like simply for money.  Just do without the material things you think you need that you don't to start with and earn less money.  Believe me you won't miss most of the material stuff you think you need.

Some of my mates spunk £3k a year in Costa.  They have to earn £5k before tax just to pay for that. Just knock needless stuff like that on the head and you can live on £20k a year less before tax and not notice much difference in your standard of living. There are so many things you can do without financially if you really want to make your life happen how you want it to.  When you do a job you love you spend way less money on your days off imo because you don't have to pay things/experiences/days out to make yourself feel better because you hate your job so much.  Believe me i have been on both sides of the fence for 10 years each.

Don't get trapped financially if you don't want to.  This is your only chance to escape at 30 before the world hits you in the face and you are trapped for 25 years.  This will be the biggest decision you probably make in your life.

One thing i should add is having your immediate families support.  That was so important to me.  My mum thought i was truly bonkers at the time doing what i did.  She had sacrificed a lot for me as a single mother so i got all that but she wanted to see me happy and enjoying my life so always supported me.  Not all parents would be so happy with their kids taking such risks and not having the dinner party bragging rights about 'my son is a chartered accountant'.  Luckily my mother doesn't give a shit about stuff like that.  Not all parents are the same.  My gran still tells her friends i am an accountant though for bragging rights....  'turf accountant' she always says!  Love my gran.

[Mark_Porter]

If i offered you £100k a year now to spend 12 hours a day running around betting shops putting bets on for me you sound like you would do it just to say/brag about having a £100k a year salary in your career.

Where do I sign? ;-)

No, your right, I am materialistic and tend to want to compare £££'s with mates that graduated / those that skipped uni and peers that are crushing it running their own thing. Am more a saver than a spender, I dont live extravagantly, I just would like to buy a house having rented for 10 years. Need a chunk for a 2 bed in Hampshire/West Sussex thought hence chasing the money.   

Lots of food for thought here, thanks guys, this is genuinely helpful and cheaper than therapy.

[arbboy]

If i offered you £100k a year now to spend 12 hours a day running around betting shops putting bets on for me you sound like you would do it just to say/brag about having a £100k a year salary in your career.

Where do I sign? ;-)

No, your right, I am materialistic and tend to want to compare £££'s with mates that graduated / those that skipped uni and peers that are crushing it running their own thing. Am more a saver than a spender, I dont live extravagantly, I just would like to buy a house having rented for 10 years. Need a chunk for a 2 bed in Hampshire/West Sussex thought hence chasing the money.  

Lots of food for thought here, thanks guys, this is genuinely helpful and cheaper than therapy.

If that is so important to you move up North.  Why do you need to be based in the ultra expensive south given your job?  Why can't you work in cheaper areas?  Dozens of London based traders moved to bet365 in Stoke from London based firms in early 2000's taking pay cuts but could live like a king up north compared to the SE.  I don't think many regret taking the so called 'gamble' they took 15 years ago living in 6 bed mansions in Cheshire/Staffordshire and their kids in decent schools they could dream about owning if they still worked for Sporting bet or sporting index in the SE.

[Woodsey]

I live......well not up north but in the midlands. Fuck living in the south east/London, my salary wouldn’t be much higher if I did and I couldn’t live on what I earn in London. So fuck the SE/London I will never live there, it’s not worth it, let the rats eat each other down there.....

[arbboy]

I live......well not up north but in the midlands. Fuck living in the south east/London, my salary wouldn’t be much higher if I did and I couldn’t live on what I earn in London. So fuck the SE/London I will never live there, it’s not worth it, let the rats eat each other down there.....

The thing that makes me laugh is betfair traders/online poker players who pay fortunes to live in London/SE when they spend 60 hours a week sitting in their bedroom grinding!  They could live anywhere in the world and choose to spunk fortunes renting in a city they don't have to live in for work because they literally could live anywhere in the world work wise via an IP blocker.

[mikeymike]

Love a lot, trust a few, but always paddle your own canoe

[Mark_Porter]

SHIP THE NEW JOB.

Will be relocating 220 miles back down to the south coast. Joining an amazing little business in the online luxury retail world in February next year looking after all their marketing. Am absolutely over the moon and this is the perfect move for me both professionally and personally.

Thanks for the advice and kick up the arse blondes, I needed it. :-)

[Mohican]

SHIP THE NEW JOB.

Will be relocating 220 miles back down to the south coast. Joining an amazing little business in the online luxury retail world in February next year looking after all their marketing. Am absolutely over the moon and this is the perfect move for me both professionally and personally.

Thanks for the advice and kick up the arse blondes, I needed it. :-)

Congrats. Hope it all works out for you.

[SuuPRlim]

bazinga