Speech Play....non poker.

[Jim-D]

Fellow Blondes I Call On Your Help

It is my brothers wedding on friday and as best man i am due to give a speach, But.........................I am so bloody nervous.

I am generally a confident guy and have no problems in crowds of people cracking jokes and talking to people but when it comes to standing up in front of a load of peole you barely know (brides side of the family) then im filled with fear,

When i was a teenager at school and hd to do an oral exam on a topic of my choice, I nearly fainted and was all red and itchy and just buried my head behind my notes and ran off at the mouth to get it finished ASAP.( man how those memories are flooding back)

I really want to do a good job as its such a special day, so im looking for some advice on how to maybe over come the nerves and also some things to say in the speech (it will only be short or else i'll pass out)

Jim.

[Indestructable]

Done it once and never again, sorry that probably doesn't help!

Main advice I would give is preperation as I tried to "wing it" and failed miserably.

On the nerves front, alcohol is the best suggestion in moderation.

Perhaps Blondes could come up with some jokes for you if you give us a few details on them, maybe what they do for a living or particualr interests?

[TightEnd]

Jim

had to do a lot of public speaking over the years and each time it is nerve wracking.

Please remember though that nerves are a good thing...they show you care, and they are your way of producing the adrenalin necessary to do your best. Don't be frightened of the nerves, accept that you can't get rid of them but you can do a few things to control them

My two tips would be

a) On the morning of the big day make sure you are busy....take the groom for a round of golf for example or play loose aggressive No Limit Omaha on your lappie . Anything to keep your mind occupied on other things rather than pre-occupied on the speech and counting down the hours

b) For the speech itself, make sure you have a good joke to tell within the first ten seconds. This will break the ice for the audience and (assuming they laugh!) fill you with confidence. No one is going to expect you to be Peter Ustinov or Stephen Fry! Keep the speech short and Personal. I assume you know the requisite embarrassing but not too embarrassing details about bride and groom.

If you think you are really struggling focus on one person in the audience, maybe a best mate, and talk to them only...it helps!

I have done a best man speech twice, dreaded both but ended up enjoying them.

[RED-DOG]

I've done quite a bit of public speaking and at first I was terrified

It's like your first game of live poker, it gets easier

The best advice I can give you is, don't try to fake anything.  

Be yourself, not what you imagine they want you to be

Talk about what you know about (I make a few notes to remind me of the main points I want to get accross, but I don't write a speech as such)

Speak slowly and clearly

Look them in the eyes

[Robert HM]

Suggestions

Do not write out the full script of your speech, use bullet points in big type you can see from a distance, you don't want a sheet of paper in front of your face better to have it just in sight so you can glance at it IF you need to refresh your memory.

Make it personal, refer to other people there in humorous terms, keep it in sections, short and sweet. Don't just concentrate on the Bride and Groom.

Don't try to embarrass the couple too much, you'll just make others squirm.

Not too much smut, if you have to have any at all. That also is a squirmer.

Take a deep breathe, look forward, move your eyes around, i.e. don't just concentrate on one spot on the far wall or that certain bridesmaid.

Practise the night before in front of the mirror and maybe the following morning.

Try to do it sober

Enjoy the experience, don't rush it.

It maybe your job to hand out flowers and stuff to those who have helped, e.g. that briodesmaid, that is good because it gives you a break as they stroll over to the top table to get their gift and it makes your speech seem longer to the others than it really was.

[Colchester Kev]

When i was best man at my brothers wedding, I managed to embarrass him to a quality extent.... My brother had his own place, and after the wedding the bride was going to be moving in to his house.. now with a bit of advance planning i managed to get hold of about 50 old front door keys and before the wedding, distributed all the keys to the women at the wedding (bridesmaids, friends of the bride, even the mother and grandma of the bride)

I started my speech with the usual growing up with brother stories and then came to the bit about how he would have to stop giving women the key to his house now that he was married, I then reached into my pocket and pulled out 3 keys and told every one that these had been handed to me in the previous few days by heartbroken tearfull women, and dropped them into an empty pint glass .... I then asked the question  " I know it will be quite hard for you to do, but if anyone in here has a key, could they please return it now"  Cue lots of women standing up and coming to the top table to put their key into the glass, The look on my brothers face was a picture, and the room was in uproar when the brides grandma gave my brother a big kiss and dropped her key in

[Robert HM]

Crickey I must learn to type faster, I thought I was to be the first to reply

[RED-DOG]

So what is it with mods and speech making anyway?

We all fell over ourselves to reply

[TightEnd]

You are an incorrigible show off

Robert, Kev and I are helpful


 

[GlasgowBandit]

I think the best think is be yourelf, your brother wouldn't have asked you to do it if he never trusted you to pull it off.

Have a couple of decent jokes in the locker incase it starts to go a little pear shaped.

Make a few clear and concise notes that will put you back on track, if you start going off in tangents.  

Remember it doesn't have to be a war and peace effort.  

And remember to smile.

[RED-DOG]

You are an incorrigible show off

Robert, Kev and I are helpful


 

I've been rumbled  

[Robert HM]

Was it painful?

[RED-DOG]

Was it painful?

Yes, but it was worth it for the publicity

[Rod Paradise]

http://www.thebestmanspeech.com/

I used a book when I did my brother's wedding, more to ensure I didn't miss anything & to help with structure. I told a few mildly embarrassing stories about him & took the piss out of a few of our mates as well. went looking for the book & found the above link... should help with forming the speech.

Good Luck

[Dingdell]

Practice, practice, practice. My best presentations have been after lots of practice......they say that for evey minute of a finished speech it should have taken 1/2 an hour of preparation. So for a 5 min speech (which is probably long enough if you're nervous) you should have taken 2.5 hours of planing, preparation and practice. It all shows.

Tracey