[quote author=Poppet7 link=topic=23766.
>>---------------------------
Bar
>>
>>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>until
>>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>-----------------------------------------
>>There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things
>>in a
>>long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired.
>>This
>>is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was
>>transcribed
>>from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless
>>to
>>say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently
>>suing
>>the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
>>Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
>>(Now
>>I know why they record these conversations!):
>>
>>Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help
>>you?"
>>Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with
>>WordPerfect."
>>Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
>>Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a
>>sudden
>>the words went away."
>>Operator: "Went away?"
>>Caller: "They disappeared."
>>Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
>>Caller: "Nothing."
>>Operator: "Nothing??"
>>Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I
>>type."
>>
>>Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get
>>out??"
>>Caller: "How do I tell?"
>>Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
>>Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
>>Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the
>>screen?"
>>Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't
>>accept anything I type."
>>Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
>>Caller: "What's a monitor?"
>>Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks
>>like
>>a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
>>Caller: "I don't know."
>>Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and
>>find
>>where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
>>Caller: "Yes, I think so."
>>Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me
>>if
>>it's plugged into the wall.
>>Caller: "Yes, it is."
>>Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice
>>that
>>there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
>>Caller: "No."
>>Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there
>>again
>>and find the other cable."
>>Caller: "Okay, here it is."
>>Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged
>>securely into the back of your computer."
>>Caller: "I can't reach."
>>Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
>>Caller: "No."
>>Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something
>>and
>>lean way over??"
>>Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right
>>angle
>>- it's because it's dark."
>>Operator: "Dark??"
>>Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only
>>light
>>I have is coming in from the window.
>>" Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
>>Caller: "I can't."
>>Operator: "No? Why not??"
>>Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
>>Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got
>>it
>>licked now.
>>Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your
>>computer
>>came in??"
>>Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
>>Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and
>>pack
>>it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the
>>store
>>you bought it from."
>>Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
>>Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
>>Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I
>>tell
>>them??"
>>Operator: "Tell them you're too f---ing stupid to own a
>>computer!!!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
utterly brilliant
Customer: (confused) Yes, why?
Me: Do you have any broken glass in the vehicle?
Customer (even more confused) No, why?
Me: Because you've called Autoglass, I can't help you with your computer.
Customer: Oh right, sorry to have bothered you!
(Customer had obviously looked up 'Windows' for his computer and somehow though Autoglass could help!
[/quote]
Cancel your credit cards before you die
This sounds like as good advice as dont rent a casket when you die. It's not just the government... Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is priceless, and so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today.
A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now is somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank:
Family Member: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Family Member: "Maybe you should turn it over to collections."
Citibank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."
Family Member: "So what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
Citibank: "Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"
Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"
Citibank: "Excuse me?"
Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?"
Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."
Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
Citibank: "Are you her lawyer?"
Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew."
(Lawyer info given)
Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Family Member: "Sure." (fax number is given)
After they get the fax:
Citibank: "Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."
Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."
Citibank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."
Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"
Citibank: "That might help."
Family Member: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69."
Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?"
staggeringly true i have found.