The Joke thread

[bolt pp]

A sixteen year old girl was killed yesterday in a Sledging incident.

Serves her right, Girls shouldn't play cricket.

Sandy

Sick IMHO

probably just bad timing, maybe that poster isnt aware of what happend.

[Claw75]

A sixteen year old girl was killed yesterday in a Sledging incident.

Serves her right, Girls shouldn't play cricket.

Sandy

Sick IMHO

probably just bad timing, maybe that poster isnt aware of what happend.

I thought so too Mo.  Unlikely Bolt.

[Scottish Dave]

Pat and Mick walking along the road, throwing stones at the Ground.....








.....Pat Missed!

[Ironside]

oooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuck i hate joke threads



off too shoot myself as the shit we are going to get in the mods rooms in next couple of days will do me in

[henrik777]

A sixteen year old girl was killed yesterday in a Sledging incident.

Serves her right, Girls shouldn't play cricket.

Sandy

Sick IMHO

probably just bad timing, maybe that poster isnt aware of what happend.

Not at the time.

Sandy

[david3103]

A sixteen year old girl was killed yesterday in a Sledging incident.

Serves her right, Girls shouldn't play cricket.

Sandy

Sick IMHO

probably just bad timing, maybe that poster isnt aware of what happend.

Not at the time.

Sandy

Comedians will tell you that Tragedy + Time = Comedy

in this instance I doubt that the Time part of that equation will ever be big enough to make it balance.

[ItsMrAlex2u]

A guy in a taxi wanted to speak to the driver so he leaned forward and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, jumped up in the air and yanked the wheel over. The car mounted the curb, demolished a lamppost and came to a stop inches from a shop window.

The startled passenger said "I didn't mean to frighten you, I just wanted to ask you something."

The taxi driver says "It's not your fault sir. It's my first day as a cab driver...I've been driving a hearse for the past 25 years."

[ItsMrAlex2u]

A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks.

One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her tits are too small. Uncharacteristically, the husband comes up with a suggestion.
"If you want your tits to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper, and rub it between them for a few seconds."

Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her tits.
"How long will this take?" she asks.

"They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies.

The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make them grow over the years?"

The husband shrugs. "Why not, it worked for your arse, didn't it?"

[ItsMrAlex2u]

A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, 'I have a headache.'
'Perfect', her husband said.
'I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with crushed aspirin.
You can take it orally, or as a suppository, it's up to you.

[tantrum]

'i don't kill flies but i like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, 'Whoa, I am way too high!'

[tantrum]

ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ

ʎpuɐs

Use ebay.co.uk next time, not ebay.au

n1