blonde poker forum

Do people still think you can have a lifelong partner in the world these days?

With so much choice and freedom, with so many options for things to do, people to meet and talk to (irl and online)

It seems a pretty strange/ alien concept really and it looks to me like people 'settle' way too much.....?


/discuss

Down to the individuals really. It's society that tries to project this as the 'norm' and you get looked at as weird from some quarters if you don't try to follow that.

I know shit loads of people that are in unhappy marriages but stick with it to conform with these norms.

Just do what you want to do is what I say, stuff what anyone else thinks......

I used to think it was a given and dreamt the dream that I was one of them.  20 years of marriage later, nearly divorced now...and just happy (lucky) to find someone different to grow old with.  Doesn't matter when we started.

I used to think me and sicilian were life long partners, then pizzled came along.

I could not cope with repeat sex for more than a couple of months

You must be doing it wrong mate.  ;)

Its something that I've not quite understood, I see people settling and they know it and admit it.  Is it really a bad thing to be so selfish to want more...?

I have seen couples who were perfect when I was a boy (to my eyes obv) drift apart, and this age we now live in... That can only be easier...

On an animal and instinctual level it seems contradictory, however what is the alternative?
A string of life sharing experiences where you have to close chapters, never to be read again???

On another small note, with x billion people in this world, what is the chance that you happen to live down the road from one of your soul mates....? (assuming you have more than one/billion people)

I've had a lot of thoughts on this subject previous to now and rather recently too as my own relationship problems came to a fore. My future plan is for future happiness however that comes. At the end of the day, relationships have always been hard work, but the level of trust required now partners can talk to anyone in private online means its a lot harder then before, at least in my opinion. Not given up on anything yet, especially seeing how happy my parents are but certainly looks more difficult. I've long been an advocate of open relationships in this day and age, it just makes sense. To quote Sabine from Fresh Meat "No one in the Netherlands gets married nowadays". Soon we'll be in the slightly more relaxed stage to serious relationships imo.

fyp

I wish they had invented 'bag for life' 30 years ago, would have saved me a fortune  ;)

36 years and she hasn't killed me yet.



(http://img10.imageshack.us/img10/1338/20110724194745963.jpg) (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/10/20110724194745963.jpg/)

Grandparent's relationship is Incred
Parent's relationship was horrific
Mine is incred (6yrs in)

Swings and roundabouts.

It's like anything, some days are good and some are not so good. It's about what makes you happiest most of the time imo. When i was single I had lots of fun but wasn't truely happy. Now married with my own little family I have masses of fun and am mega happy. Everyday I look forward to leaving work and seeing wife and baby, until the day comes when I don't I wouldn't change a thing.

Certainly didn't settle had lots of 'try before you buys' in my time. One girl even proposed to me but I binned her.

Don't wanna end up old, alone, in a bedsit, no offspring to carry on the MilliDonk name and more importantly nobody to coddle my wrinkly balls

Met my girlfriend in 1992 in an incredible chain of events that meant we were destined to be together. Head over heels I proposed the following year. Almost 20yrs later we still haven't got round to tying the knot. No point rushing into anything.

chain of events story plz

Loving that picture Red.

tx

I honestly think I'm leading approximately the nut life right now. I sometimes imagine what it would be like to be jetting around the world playing poker, or being a famous rapper (with lots of groupies obv), but I can't believe I would be any happier than I am right now.

(I got married last year and have a 10 month old and a 3 year old with my wife)

This has made me think of the chain of events that get any couple together. You could go back years to start the chain. Incredible.

Even though I used to love being single and chasing girls, I'm so glad that part of my life is (hopefully) over. I go out with some of my single mates and there is just a real sense of desperation in the air sometimes. I love being married, it worries me when you see so many stats flying around about how many end in divorce, but my parents managed to stick together till the end so those are the footsteps I aim to follow.

One of the problems these days is people think they have a god given right to be happy 24/7 and probably don't want to do the work to make something last.

Of course I've only been married six months (But with er indoors for nearly 8 years) - so take my wisdom with a pinch of salt.

if you find your life long partner do you feel it makes any difference in getting married?

is it such a big thing? my gf wants to get married before we start having kids.

maybe a super long engagement FTW

As is often the case, the great philosophers have the answer to this question

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KynIKjRwqDI

It's a big thing if you don't want to do it and she does.

I am not 100% either way of the argument, I got married to allow our lass to work in the country and become British (she is American). But it would have been something we did a year or two later anyways and defo before having kids. Where as I don't think being a 'Bastard' is a slur in the true sense of the meaning I know my wife was reluctant to tell me her parents were not married when she was born (FFS who was in san fran in the 70's?!). It made me a little sad that people could still perceive this to be a bad thing. If you are thinking of sending your kids to a Catholic School I know for a fact they prefer the parents married and blessed in a catholic church.

I love being married (1 and a bit years) and have a 3 week old girl who is magical to me.

The thought of entering the dating game again makes me shudder.

Ha... you run off with a girl half my age ..what was i supposed to do... pizzles much better his no hope of getting a bird....

On a serious note i had the nut life wife ..2 great kids big house..ferrari in the garage..business ...money together 20 years..couldnt have been happier.. then an illness changes my other halfs mind into soup and she thinks the best thing in the world is divorce... sigh and balls...

Good job she never found out about that affair you were having then.

Like

cheeky blondes had nothing to do with it :)

I met SaraM in 1996. She was going out with a lad I knew at college who I didn't think deserved her so I made a mission of taking her away from him :)
We married in 2002, have two fantastic children (Charlotte 12 and Joe 6).
We've had maybe 2 proper arguments in 16 years. Both times I was wrong and realised it 5 mins in to it.
That's not to say there hasn't been ups and downs, but we've worked through them.
I can honestly say it's even better now than the 'honeymoon period'

it is possible to be with someone long term, or even life-long and it not be "settling."

Many congrats Tom.

Tim Minchin is brilliant - and also saved me writing out a pretty long post :D

who saved you from writing out a pretty long post?  :hello:

If it hadn't been you, someone else would have posted it ;)

Of course you did, that's the secret :D

Mrs S and myself have been together for a few years now, married for nearly 11 years, together for 18?  Something like that, I'd have to check :D.  I was kinda tricked into getting married by the promise of a cool holiday but it's a good life.  Like Milli says, you get your own little family together and, touch wood, life couldn't really get much better.

I'd like to think I've still got it to attract some young lovely 20 odd year old blonde hotties but deep down I know I haven't and I'm happy with life.

 ;applause; ;applause;

Summer 1992 - After finishing A-levels I went on a typical lad’s holiday with 11 friends from school. We booked one of those surprise Spanish holidays where you don’t know the destination until you arrive.  Well we ended up in a place called Tossa de Mar and were henceforth known as the twelve tossas. After an amazing holiday the last day sadly arrived and we were all sitting in the bar with our suitcases packed waiting for the coach to take us to the airport. Then I had this strong feeling that I didn’t want to get on the flight and would much prefer to stay where I was. So I announced this idea to the rest of the group. Fast forward many hours and 10 of the original 12 tossas are all still in the bar with a very merry disposition. Interesting that we all found it so hilarious considering we had very little money, nowhere to stay and no way of getting home.

Bonny (a tossa) managed to break back into one of the apartments we had vacated earlier in the day so we all piled our bags in there. Now that we had accommodation sorted we decided to get a bus to the neighbouring resort of Lloret de Mar to carry on partying. It was there I briefly met Nikki in some club and was just blown away, but I got distracted and she disappeared and I didn’t see her again.

In the early hours I was back in Tossa sitting on the balcony of our hijacked apartment thinking about this girl who came and vanished when in the still of the night this taxi pulled up about 6 feet from me and out stepped Nikki. She was staying in this very hotel and checked in the day I should’ve checked out. Anyway next morning I found her topless by the pool which as I remember caused an erection lasting best part of the day. I got chatting and convinced her to let me and a ‘few friends’ stay in her apartment for one night until we arranged alternative accommodation. She has told me since that she thought I was a real laddish twat at this point but decided to take pity and let me stay anyway due to her sweet nature and generous disposition.

That evening another tossa named Lordy randomly turned up with 10 acid tabs he had scored in the old town and we all decided to drop one, meh we were students right. Now if Nikki thought I was a twat already things were about to get a whole lot worse because a troop of 10 babbling baboons turned up at her apartment in the early hours asking her if she could see Yoda and feel his magic. We must have been so loud what with all the constant hysterical laughter because within a short space of time there was this alarming banging on the door and booming shouts of POLICIA POLICIA.

Now there are only limited hiding places for 10 men in a small self-catering apartment and watching everyone panic and rush around looking for the best places was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. The sight of Lordy with nowhere left to hide grabbing the shade off a standing lamp and putting it on his head before standing bolt upright still makes me laugh today. Needless to say it was a relatively short game of hide and seek when the police came in, although they were surprised at the number of participants.

Bizarrely they drove us to the town border and with a snarl of OUT OF TOSSA CENTRO just left us there. Obviously after they had gone we went straight back to tossa centro and slept on the beach. We made a luxurious Bedouin tent out of beach towels with various rooms and compartments, although looking back perhaps my judgement was impaired. Anyway the next day I nervously returned to the hotel to apologise to all concerned but the hotel manager gave me a right roasting and told me Nikki had been expelled from the hotel and the resort. He said if I didn’t leave Tossa in 5 minutes he would phone the police. So that was that.

The lads decided to buy a small tent from the supermarket and over the next 2 weeks we camped in it on this local site. I made constant enquiries but to no avail.

Then one morning I wake up with this hankering for a pint of Tetley Bitter and nothing else would do. I don’t know why as I don’t like bitter and never drank Tetley but it must be Tetley and nothing else. So another tossa called Frazer agreed to help me on my quest to track down Tetley Bitter in the Costa Brava. We searched the whole of Tossa de Mar and nothing, then decided to get the bus to Lloret and still nothing after seemingly going into every bar on the coast. Just as we are about to give up and get the bus home we look up and see this massive sign Tetley Bitter Served Here. Well me and Frazer high five each other and take our seats on the terrace asking the waiter for dos Tetleyos.

At this point a coach pulls up and the holiday makers who had been waiting with their suitcases start getting on. The waiter brings the drinks and as I raise it to my lips I look up to see Nikki sitting in the coach window about 6 feet from my face. She notices me frantically waving and quickly throws her number out the window as the coach pulls away.

Good story tossa....now continue.

Great story Mr Man. Hurry up with the rest.

What a tossa.

Great read though. Please do continue.

Sick story! Moaaaaaarrrrrrrrr pls

I guess its also the "is this person the one?" and how can you know.... now i know people say "you know when you know" but when I've been in the two relationships I've been in, it feels great at the time... like you want that person there all the time.

But to put it into perspective, I'm 26 and started my first 'relationship' when i was 19, so I'm 7 years old in relationship terms.

I'm now going to decide based on that knowledge, on that 'sample size' what is the best idea, or what will be the best long term decision for the next 50 years+...?  that seems illogical at best and insane at worst...........???

I am 23 years in and our boy is off to uni next year. It's just flown by.

To use a horse racing analogy I recommend choosing a Ladbrokes World Hurdle entrant rather than a frisky Derby entry. The latter are expensive and tend not to stay.

Pretty fun read there, Mantis :D

My input - I don't know yet. Parents have been together for 27? years or so without being married.


Can't see myself getting out of test drive mode for a while yet, being this 'young' I want to travel, live abroad and sample a vast array of different things before settling into any form of career, location or relationship.

My parents have been together nearly 40 years and if you heard them you'd think they hated each other. Constant bickering. But you know what? That's love right there. Despite the bickering they understand each other and work things out. In my observations the relationships that are 'perfect', the people who in their first decade together 'never argue', and tell everyone 'we're soul mates', they're the relationships/marriages that are often in for a car crash eventually.

I'm not entirely sure what my point is, but there's my tuppence worth.

really wish i'd seen your unedited long version inc personal stuff! drunken dave wins.

I think it's unfair to compare previous generations marriages to currant generations

Completely different

That is the end of the story about how I met my girlfriend.

However, we stayed in Costa Brava for another 4 weeks or so and by then we were pretty much busto having maybe £100 left for the 10 of us and no way of getting home. One of the tossas called Rich wanted to go to the supermarket to get us all a pasta dinner but we told him we only had enough money left for cigarettes and beer and couldn’t afford food anymore. He looked really forlorn about that and then just disappeared for 2 days after complaining he was starving. We were really worried.

On one of our final days we went to a local Tapas restaurant for a kind of last supper. They had this all you could eat buffet special and we stayed in there for most of the day just eating and eating. As we emerged into the evening sunlight everybody felt really bloated and satisfied.

All of a sudden we heard cries of STOP! THIEF! and everyone whirled around to see a young desperate man with wild eyes sprinting at full pelt carrying a bag of apples. He was being chased by two enraged locals from the fruit shop. That desperate young man who sprinted past us and down the promenade was our missing friend tossa Rich. Such a weird and hilarious sight to witness the Head Boy of a prestigious grammar school resorting to desperately stealing apples from a fruit stand. However Rich was also a cross country champion so he left the locals for dust much to our delight. It did sober us up to the reality things were getting kinda desperate though.

So next day with petty thief Rich back in the fold we hatched a plan to split into 5 teams of 2 and try to make it back to England by hitchhiking. We decided to all meet up at this camp site in Perpignan, South of France as our first check point and then push on to England from there.

I was teamed with Frazer and we absolutely crushed the challenge. We walked about 2km to the start of the motorway where we found this little roadside café. We asked loads of people for a lift north but everyone declined, even these two English lads said no which was disappointing. However, I noticed one of them was wearing a pair of Leicester City shorts and so started chanting “There’s only one Rooster Russell” in homage to Leicester player Kevin Russell nicknamed Rooster. Turned out this guy was Rooster’s number one fan and he started clapping and joining in. Five minutes later we were sat in the back of their Golf GTI motoring north.

These guys were legends and gave us food, drinks, benson & hedges, and some spending money. They kept apologising for saying no when we asked for a lift but said they were wary about being conned or robbed. We talked football all the way and they actually dropped us off in Perpignan right outside the camp site.

Over the next few weeks the other teams started dribbling into Perpignan with various harrowing tales of their adventures. As we cruised along in the GTI with air-con and all our needs taken care of the rest of the lads hadn’t been so fortunate. Sleeping by the roadside, scavenging food, being attacked was all pretty standard. About 3 weeks later a bedraggled Bonny and Matt finally turned up with the most bizarre story. They had been forced to join a travelling bull circus (don’t know wtf one of those are) as performers on account of the fact the convoy was moving North. Apparently the owner was a real cruel bastard who treated the bulls and staff with a sadistic cruelty. When the bull circus got near the border with France our heroes made a break for it in the middle of the night and hitched a lift to Perpignan. Oh and they brought a dog with them.

All together again we started thinking about phase 2 of the plan. Up to this point we were surviving on food dished out by fellow campers so the need to get home asap was a priority. I heard a rumour that a Thompson coach was leaving the next day headed for Wolverhampton so I found the rep who was a real cutie and schmoozed her that night for all I was worth. Next day 10 tossas were sitting on the back seats of the coach heading for the Black Country free of charge. Once again people on the coach gave us food, drink and cigarettes. I can honestly say we experienced so much kindness and generosity from people when travelling it was really humbling.

Then we got the 966 bus from Wolverhampton to Birmingham.

The End

Can't wait for the rest of the story. Incredible stuff so far.

How long did you wait to call your sweetheart?

This made me laugh for some reason.

Great story Mantis. Got any more?

Why?  The vows you make to each other are exactly the same as before (other than the dropping of 'obey' in general).

Love has changed ?!?!??!?

Every marriage in my father and fathers father generations was for love?!?!?!?

Think people get married for the wrong reasons these days and alot don't actually love each other

Also a lot more  is on offer then before

Now I'm interested. What is it?   ;popcorn;

Liberation of female rights? Social acceptance of GLBT? 3d hologram porn?

This is absolutely not the case, social circumstances forced relationships to stay together before.  It also made sure that people didn't just give up at the first hurdle.
Some of this is positive, some might be seen as negative...
Either way, anyone who wants to say relationships are the same now as 10 years ago, 20 years ago, 30 years ago and so on... is in my mind - just kidding themselves.


These are the reasons I put this thread up.  I am currently in the middle of a personal change in my life... and I'm super bi-polar about it.

There is one part of me that knows that I'm good with women (yer yeh) and that I'm able to foster relationships with them easier than most and that I enjoy that.  That meeting new women and experiencing new things is a lot of fun.
And the other part of me knows that I've had a very loving and dedicated partner... possibly so much so that I'll never have the like again, in all my life.


And trying to work out what I actually want - which is harder than it sounds.

Having just watched Baz Luhrmanns Romeo and Juliet for the first time in a few years (studied at school) a phrase I heard in a film springs to mind.
"you either die a hero or you live to become the bad guy"
which I guess is the same as
"you either die young or you live to see the fun fade"


Not meaning to bum anyone out here, its just tough for me to work out how to listen to two so completely different parts of myself - thinking about things in two completely different ways.  If I try to silence one, it will eventually bleed through since its clearly part of me, but they don't work together.......


hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I never realised Mantis was Jeeves, good stuff Mantis.

<3 Mantis even MORE than before....

This is absolutely the case.  The vows you make are the same, and are a lifetime commitment.  Point me to the example, other than the one I gave, where they're materially different.

Marriage itself is absolutely the same as it always has been.  The difference is that people's attitudes to it have changed over time.

I can´t think of anything that would fundamentally change an institution like marriage more than people´s attitudes towards it changing. The words, that are based on an antiquated prayer might be the same but marriage can´t possibly be the same if people view it differently.

That's like saying that swearing on oath in court isn't the same as it was previously as it's "just a bunch of antiquated words."

Not the best defence you could ever come up with if you were accused of perjury.

My point is that if people can't be bothered to take the marriage oath seriously (and it's pretty explicit and clear as to what you're committing to) then why bother going through with it at all?  Nothing is any different now in terms of the commitment that you stand up and make to the one's your parents' and grandparents' generations made, so trying to argue that it's any different seems odd to me.

Knowing what marriage is, and what society make it are two completely different things.in the same way that 'courting' rituals have changed, relationships - and what is acceptable, has changed.

Marriage is a binding commitment, clearly. However, when its so socially acceptable to break that bond and start again it will be done.

You're view of saying nothing has changed, is factually correct for the institution alone, sir. However like schrodingers cat, when viewed in todays world it does indeed take on a different form to that which it 'should/ could/ would be' in a perfect world.  The view of marriage is best studied by location and culture.

In many places, marriage is still arranged, sometimes forced - for the benefit of the community or the families.
In many places marriage is unbreakable, irrespective of the circumstances.
In many places marriage is looked at to climb the social ladder.
And in many places marriage is looked at, as a fun thing to do.  That is easily undone if needed.

None of these are within the perfect ideology of what marriage is supposed to truly represent, however the realworld application of marriage in this country (UK) has changed and will continue to do so the more freedom we have with every aspect of our daily life choices.

I guess in answer to your statements, I would ask you -
"what has changed in the last 100 years that has made the divorce rate rise so much?"
"the numbers say people are using it differently, why?"
"what difference does having legal rights as a non married partner make?"
"where will marriage go in the future, the more we open our society, surely there is less and less need for marriage as it was but instead a new way of saying 'this is my partner, we are toether' ?"

Whilst, for many, the marriage vows were something held sacred, for others saying 'I do' was akin to ticking the 'I have read the terms and conditions' box on a website - just something you did to seal the deal.

However, once in the marriage, divorce was so culturally unacceptable than many, many people stayed married even if they preferred they weren't. Now that taboo has gone, more people fold their hand when they lose interest rather than do their roll when they get pot committed, hence marriage being a more transient thing nowadays.

...and then when you've folded, it's just you and your hand?

WP sir

Too good!

This is probably the first time ever that Andrew T has been out-Andrew T'ed in a reply.

As a result, it surely deserves best.....post......ever!

 ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend;

I might be wrong here but wasn't that the whole point of the thread in the first place?

As for me:

37 years old and still single. Been in a few serious relationships which unfortunately fizzled out. I've always been of the opinion that long term relationships just aren't for me. It's a shame but it's just the way it is.

Currently chasing girls way too young for me but it's fun so I'll stick with it for now.

Quick question. If I was to meet someone now and stay with her 'til one of us bites the dust would that still class as lifelong?

Is there a limit to the age you meet in order to qualify for the lifelong club?

I met my wife 7 years ago when she came to the UK from Brazil to visit her sister.

She didn't speak much English then. She seemed so quiet. Now she speaks English fluently and by that I mean she never stops talking.

Love her to bits though.

Met at a party she was 16 i was 17,  married 10 months later, just had our 34th wedding anniversary, couldn't be happier.

Stev

It'll never last!

:D

We figure give it til our 50th, if still crap at that point cut our loses and start again.  " You gotta know when to holdem and know when to foldem"  :)

Been married 4 years this week. Been together 8 years. Yes its possible, youve just got to want it to work and then work at it and address issues openly. Ive got loads of friends that havent lasted two years of marriage and think they probably just called it off too easily.

I think to make it work you have got to be ready and have gotten all the shit done that you may wish you could still do once you get married. Shag loads of people, travel, party a lot and follow your dreams and if you meet someone that doesnt share your broad values then dont marry her.

Totally agree with addressing issues openly amd promptly and not ignoring them. Sadly that is probably where me and my ex failed.  :(

I think that me and my ex got it right by being open and honest about where our relationship was, and agreeing to call it a day and go our separate ways without any animosity or bitterness.

Staying together because six years earlier we though we'd be together forever didn't seem like a good reason.

Thoughts on couples staying together for the sake of the children?  At least until they have completed school?

Disastrous, normally. Kids aren't stupid.

Tricky one

I used to believe this, but came to the view that kids are better brought up by happy parents than unhappy parents.

Age of the kids also has to be factored in

Of course it gets complicated if splitting up denies access to the children to one parent

Are your views on this formed by the environment in which you were bought up?

My Parents and my Wife’s parents have both been happily married for almost 40 years.  They helped me believe that a long and happy marriage was possible.  During my formative years it did seem that all my friends’ parents were divorced/ing.  It does seem that many of these same friends have not survived in long term relationships/marriages.  I would imagine it’s unusual for two people to marry these days and both sets of parents to be still together?  Is there a connection? – Who knows?

I have been with my partner for almost 15 years and it has not been easy, we have had to work at it, I didn’t think we would ever marry as it did not seem like it was necessary.  We are not religious, had no kids and are both stubborn/selfish in regard that we don’t do things because people “think we should”.

When my wedding day arrived it was a huge surprise to me and I knew nothing of its planning, it was “very us” and I wouldn’t change it for anything (well maybe aside from the 2 day delay due to general drunkenness of the then wife to be, long story . . . ). 

You can still have a partner for life, but if you end up in that situation be sure that’s what you want.  I am not sure the modern world makes it any more difficult, I am sure there were as many temptations for my Mother/Father in 1969 as there are for me today?  It’s all about personal choice, isn’t it?

Im a grass is greener sort of bloke. Love being single right now, having a blast and really don't want to be tied down. But I'll probs stop running good with the ladies soon and ill wanna relationship again. And when I get in one, ill love it for a while then wanna be single again.

All I want in a relationship right now is someone in my bed when I come home every night! The odd Sunday roast wouldn't go a miss either ;)

Sharing all the trials, tribulations and wonderful experiences life has to offer with your best friend beats random shagging hands down imo.

Yup, thats a great view at your age and exactly as i was in my early twenties. You change that view when the right person comes along and when you want to. Anyone settling down for life because it is expected by someone else and the pressure is there is doing it for the wrong reason.

 ;carlocitrone; Pros and cons of both imo.

Well my environment was a two parent family, without my natural father who'm I've never had any contact with.

I dont know if that has affected my view. I haven't really ever had a good relationship with my step-father, and im sure that's been formative in my upbringing, what effect however... Well that isn't clear.

Im a very logical person by nature and choice.  And the structural analysis of 'marriage' to me see's it as a tool used to justify and explain relationships to the community.  It is to honour relationships and confirm their long term commitment.  It is something that as I understand it, stemmed from 'ownership' one way or another a long long time ago.  How it exists, or how it applies in todays society, in todays world... This I dont understand or know, not really.

I however as a very selfish person with the thought that this life is so short, and you only get what you ask for or take yourself.

Clearly my selfish views are contradictory to marriage, however I have changed an immeasurable amount in the last year.  And clearly will change more in the future, the romantic in me wants to get married and to have kids.  But its very confusing to see how I can be both myself and a devoted husband and father in the conventional senses.

How far do you take the 'what I want' vs 'what I need' in a relationship?

Do tell more. Was rohypnol involved? Some cunning subterfuge or other?

No Rohypnol, all coma’s were self-induced.

I don’t have the descriptive powers of Red_Dog or Mantis but the short of it is . . . After 14 years of living in sin (blissfully) we were lucky enough to accompany two friends for a 30th birthday celebration, in Vegas. 
After booking in to the Nugget we headed to the strip and Cabo-Wabo to meet friends and discuss the action plan for the first few days of the holiday.  I thought nothing of getting that front table on the patio at Cabo we were overlooking the Bellagio fountains, sun was going down, it was perfect, and as it turned out had all been arranged for my benefit, I hadn’t even noticed the attentive service let alone the good table.

After the meal Caz gave out envelopes, I will never be able to describe my level of surprise at seeing an invite to my own wedding.  I had not slept for about 36 hours had been pissed twice in that time and it all took a while to sink in.  The girl who struggled to log onto Yahoo mail, run a facebook account and who I hadn’t known to phone anyone in 15 years had arranged a wedding from the other side of the world.

The reality of marrying in Vegas is you have to have a licence and both people need to consent – so the next day we went and collected our licence the wedding was booked for Saturday morning, it all seemed real now.  The wedding would be followed by a wedding breakfast at Cut and on stage seats at Matt Goss – which she had arranged through Matt’s agent whom she had met on a previous visit to Vegas – and then 2 nights at the Venitian in some honeymoon suite - it was all crazy.

When she explained that Friday night we would spend together at The House of Blues watching Steel Panther alarms should have rung in my head.  Let’s just say my wife to be has a history of lack of self-control the day before certain events, but I was still in shock and too excited to question the sensibility of any of it, it all seemed crazy.

Wedding eve rolled around and we went to some Burger joint and in true Man vs Food style we made gluterness asses of ourselves before heading over to House of Blues and before you could consume two 16oz Millers the Sambuca was flying – I abstained.  I began to watch my wedding day slip away before my eyes, at this stage she was in drunken denial “all was fine”.  For the second time in her life an American onlooker called her the “drunkest person in Vegas” not bad for someone that “does not drink” - I still went to bed expecting to get wed in the morning – how blissfully naive.

When I was awoken at 6am to the sound of the prayers to the porcelain god I knew my wedding day would come and go, and I would remain single.  She did wait till about 10am to cancel the wedding and I didn’t take it well.  I headed for the strip, alone, with our complete roll in my pocket got smashed and spunked off hundreds and hundreds of bucks. 

When Caz phoned to tell me that although the tables for Matt Goss (she was more upset about this then the wedding) and at the restaurant were lost along with my Venitian Suite but the wedding chapel were very relaxed about re-arranging at no charge for later in the week I had a moment of clarity.   My lack of control was going to equal no wedding anyway, what I had done hit me like a hammer, a sobering hammer – so I did what any sane man would do, upped the stakes and chased.  I can’t remember the name of the machine that delivered that level 3 progressive jackpot, it was in the Luxor and I had been drinking Gentleman Jack like it was going out of fashion so my memory is hazy at best.  We actually went back to the Luxor later in the week and some of the bar staff called me Gentleman Jack for the evening so god knows what I had got upto.  I am not proud of those blurred hours of my life.

To this day, she still blames the burger prior to the House of Blues, I blame the Sambuca.  She knows some of my tale regarding degeneracy from that day, but has no idea how bad it almost was or at least she has never really asked.

We did marry a couple of days later, Limo, flowers, beautiful chapel and music she pulled off quite a day, but looking back I think she remembers the hangover as much as the wedding.  Perfect.

CALL. 

You bloody do!

What a story!

Your missus deserves an entry in the advent calendar, both for the awesome surprise planning of the wedding without your knowledge and then the total DEGEN behaviour which caused it to go up in flames, initially!

Legendary, IMO!

Do tell more. Was rohypnol involved? Some cunning subterfuge or other?

Huge respect for Steel Panther the night before the (planned) wedding. Any woman willing to go see them with her man is worth marrying!!!

Confirmed Legendary couple.

Abs incred. /thread. /forum.

Brilliant story

Great story Nakor :D 

My mum has a saying..

"people are in your life for a reason, a season or for life.."

If that's the case, then what do we do after we/ they leave?
With the memories, items, feelings?


I realise its all a little bit serious, but its just an avenue of venting where im trying to get opinions from a wider audience than just my close friends....