lifelong partners

[celtic]

Thoughts on couples staying together for the sake of the children?  At least until they have completed school?

Disastrous, normally. Kids aren't stupid.

[TightEnd]

Thoughts on couples staying together for the sake of the children?  At least until they have completed school?

Tricky one

I used to believe this, but came to the view that kids are better brought up by happy parents than unhappy parents.

Age of the kids also has to be factored in

Of course it gets complicated if splitting up denies access to the children to one parent

[Nakor]

Do people still think you can have a lifelong partner in the world these days?

With so much choice and freedom, with so many options for things to do, people to meet and talk to (irl and online)

It seems a pretty strange/ alien concept really and it looks to me like people 'settle' way too much.....?


/discuss

Are your views on this formed by the environment in which you were bought up?

My Parents and my Wife’s parents have both been happily married for almost 40 years.  They helped me believe that a long and happy marriage was possible.  During my formative years it did seem that all my friends’ parents were divorced/ing.  It does seem that many of these same friends have not survived in long term relationships/marriages.  I would imagine it’s unusual for two people to marry these days and both sets of parents to be still together?  Is there a connection? – Who knows?

I have been with my partner for almost 15 years and it has not been easy, we have had to work at it, I didn’t think we would ever marry as it did not seem like it was necessary.  We are not religious, had no kids and are both stubborn/selfish in regard that we don’t do things because people “think we should”.

When my wedding day arrived it was a huge surprise to me and I knew nothing of its planning, it was “very us” and I wouldn’t change it for anything (well maybe aside from the 2 day delay due to general drunkenness of the then wife to be, long story . . . ). 

You can still have a partner for life, but if you end up in that situation be sure that’s what you want.  I am not sure the modern world makes it any more difficult, I am sure there were as many temptations for my Mother/Father in 1969 as there are for me today?  It’s all about personal choice, isn’t it?

[cambridgealex]

Im a grass is greener sort of bloke. Love being single right now, having a blast and really don't want to be tied down. But I'll probs stop running good with the ladies soon and ill wanna relationship again. And when I get in one, ill love it for a while then wanna be single again.

All I want in a relationship right now is someone in my bed when I come home every night! The odd Sunday roast wouldn't go a miss either

[MANTIS01]

Sharing all the trials, tribulations and wonderful experiences life has to offer with your best friend beats random shagging hands down imo.

[Junior Senior]

Im a grass is greener sort of bloke. Love being single right now, having a blast and really don't want to be tied down. But I'll probs stop running good with the ladies soon and ill wanna relationship again. And when I get in one, ill love it for a while then wanna be single again.

All I want in a relationship right now is someone in my bed when I come home every night! The odd Sunday roast wouldn't go a miss either

Yup, thats a great view at your age and exactly as i was in my early twenties. You change that view when the right person comes along and when you want to. Anyone settling down for life because it is expected by someone else and the pressure is there is doing it for the wrong reason.

[Woodsey]

Sharing all the trials, tribulations and wonderful experiences life has to offer with your best friend beats random shagging hands down imo.

  Pros and cons of both imo.

[jgcblack]

Well my environment was a two parent family, without my natural father who'm I've never had any contact with.

I dont know if that has affected my view. I haven't really ever had a good relationship with my step-father, and im sure that's been formative in my upbringing, what effect however... Well that isn't clear.

Im a very logical person by nature and choice.  And the structural analysis of 'marriage' to me see's it as a tool used to justify and explain relationships to the community.  It is to honour relationships and confirm their long term commitment.  It is something that as I understand it, stemmed from 'ownership' one way or another a long long time ago.  How it exists, or how it applies in todays society, in todays world... This I dont understand or know, not really.

I however as a very selfish person with the thought that this life is so short, and you only get what you ask for or take yourself.

Clearly my selfish views are contradictory to marriage, however I have changed an immeasurable amount in the last year.  And clearly will change more in the future, the romantic in me wants to get married and to have kids.  But its very confusing to see how I can be both myself and a devoted husband and father in the conventional senses.

How far do you take the 'what I want' vs 'what I need' in a relationship?

[david3103]

When my wedding day arrived it was a huge surprise to me and I knew nothing of its planning, it was “very us” and I wouldn’t change it for anything (well maybe aside from the 2 day delay due to general drunkenness of the then wife to be, long story . . . ).  

Do tell more. Was rohypnol involved? Some cunning subterfuge or other?

[Nakor]

When my wedding day arrived it was a huge surprise to me and I knew nothing of its planning, it was “very us” and I wouldn’t change it for anything (well maybe aside from the 2 day delay due to general drunkenness of the then wife to be, long story . . . ).  

Do tell more. Was rohypnol involved? Some cunning subterfuge or other?

No Rohypnol, all coma’s were self-induced.

I don’t have the descriptive powers of Red_Dog or Mantis but the short of it is . . . After 14 years of living in sin (blissfully) we were lucky enough to accompany two friends for a 30th birthday celebration, in Vegas. 
After booking in to the Nugget we headed to the strip and Cabo-Wabo to meet friends and discuss the action plan for the first few days of the holiday.  I thought nothing of getting that front table on the patio at Cabo we were overlooking the Bellagio fountains, sun was going down, it was perfect, and as it turned out had all been arranged for my benefit, I hadn’t even noticed the attentive service let alone the good table.

After the meal Caz gave out envelopes, I will never be able to describe my level of surprise at seeing an invite to my own wedding.  I had not slept for about 36 hours had been pissed twice in that time and it all took a while to sink in.  The girl who struggled to log onto Yahoo mail, run a facebook account and who I hadn’t known to phone anyone in 15 years had arranged a wedding from the other side of the world.

The reality of marrying in Vegas is you have to have a licence and both people need to consent – so the next day we went and collected our licence the wedding was booked for Saturday morning, it all seemed real now.  The wedding would be followed by a wedding breakfast at Cut and on stage seats at Matt Goss – which she had arranged through Matt’s agent whom she had met on a previous visit to Vegas – and then 2 nights at the Venitian in some honeymoon suite - it was all crazy.

When she explained that Friday night we would spend together at The House of Blues watching Steel Panther alarms should have rung in my head.  Let’s just say my wife to be has a history of lack of self-control the day before certain events, but I was still in shock and too excited to question the sensibility of any of it, it all seemed crazy.

Wedding eve rolled around and we went to some Burger joint and in true Man vs Food style we made gluterness asses of ourselves before heading over to House of Blues and before you could consume two 16oz Millers the Sambuca was flying – I abstained.  I began to watch my wedding day slip away before my eyes, at this stage she was in drunken denial “all was fine”.  For the second time in her life an American onlooker called her the “drunkest person in Vegas” not bad for someone that “does not drink” - I still went to bed expecting to get wed in the morning – how blissfully naive.

When I was awoken at 6am to the sound of the prayers to the porcelain god I knew my wedding day would come and go, and I would remain single.  She did wait till about 10am to cancel the wedding and I didn’t take it well.  I headed for the strip, alone, with our complete roll in my pocket got smashed and spunked off hundreds and hundreds of bucks. 

When Caz phoned to tell me that although the tables for Matt Goss (she was more upset about this then the wedding) and at the restaurant were lost along with my Venitian Suite but the wedding chapel were very relaxed about re-arranging at no charge for later in the week I had a moment of clarity.   My lack of control was going to equal no wedding anyway, what I had done hit me like a hammer, a sobering hammer – so I did what any sane man would do, upped the stakes and chased.  I can’t remember the name of the machine that delivered that level 3 progressive jackpot, it was in the Luxor and I had been drinking Gentleman Jack like it was going out of fashion so my memory is hazy at best.  We actually went back to the Luxor later in the week and some of the bar staff called me Gentleman Jack for the evening so god knows what I had got upto.  I am not proud of those blurred hours of my life.

To this day, she still blames the burger prior to the House of Blues, I blame the Sambuca.  She knows some of my tale regarding degeneracy from that day, but has no idea how bad it almost was or at least she has never really asked.

We did marry a couple of days later, Limo, flowers, beautiful chapel and music she pulled off quite a day, but looking back I think she remembers the hangover as much as the wedding.  Perfect.

[kinboshi]

I don’t have the descriptive powers of Red_Dog or Mantis but the short of it is . . .

CALL. 

You bloody do!

[Sheriff Fatman]

No Rohypnol, all coma’s were self-induced.

I don’t have the descriptive powers of Red_Dog or Mantis but the short of it is . . . After 14 years of living in sin (blissfully) we were lucky enough to accompany two friends for a 30th birthday celebration, in Vegas.  
After booking in to the Nugget we headed to the strip and Cabo-Wabo to meet friends and discuss the action plan for the first few days of the holiday.  I thought nothing of getting that front table on the patio at Cabo we were overlooking the Bellagio fountains, sun was going down, it was perfect, and as it turned out had all been arranged for my benefit, I hadn’t even noticed the attentive service let alone the good table.

After the meal Caz gave out envelopes, I will never be able to describe my level of surprise at seeing an invite to my own wedding.  I had not slept for about 36 hours had been pissed twice in that time and it all took a while to sink in.  The girl who struggled to log onto Yahoo mail, run a facebook account and who I hadn’t known to phone anyone in 15 years had arranged a wedding from the other side of the world.

The reality of marrying in Vegas is you have to have a licence and both people need to consent – so the next day we went and collected our licence the wedding was booked for Saturday morning, it all seemed real now.  The wedding would be followed by a wedding breakfast at Cut and on stage seats at Matt Goss – which she had arranged through Matt’s agent whom she had met on a previous visit to Vegas – and then 2 nights at the Venitian in some honeymoon suite - it was all crazy.

When she explained that Friday night we would spend together at The House of Blues watching Steel Panther alarms should have rung in my head.  Let’s just say my wife to be has a history of lack of self-control the day before certain events, but I was still in shock and too excited to question the sensibility of any of it, it all seemed crazy.

Wedding eve rolled around and we went to some Burger joint and in true Man vs Food style we made gluterness asses of ourselves before heading over to House of Blues and before you could consume two 16oz Millers the Sambuca was flying – I abstained.  I began to watch my wedding day slip away before my eyes, at this stage she was in drunken denial “all was fine”.  For the second time in her life an American onlooker called her the “drunkest person in Vegas” not bad for someone that “does not drink” - I still went to bed expecting to get wed in the morning – how blissfully naive.

When I was awoken at 6am to the sound of the prayers to the porcelain god I knew my wedding day would come and go, and I would remain single.  She did wait till about 10am to cancel the wedding and I didn’t take it well.  I headed for the strip, alone, with our complete roll in my pocket got smashed and spunked off hundreds and hundreds of bucks.  

When Caz phoned to tell me that although the tables for Matt Goss (she was more upset about this then the wedding) and at the restaurant were lost along with my Venitian Suite but the wedding chapel were very relaxed about re-arranging at no charge for later in the week I had a moment of clarity.   My lack of control was going to equal no wedding anyway, what I had done hit me like a hammer, a sobering hammer – so I did what any sane man would do, upped the stakes and chased.  I can’t remember the name of the machine that delivered that level 3 progressive jackpot, it was in the Luxor and I had been drinking Gentleman Jack like it was going out of fashion so my memory is hazy at best.  We actually went back to the Luxor later in the week and some of the bar staff called me Gentleman Jack for the evening so god knows what I had got upto.  I am not proud of those blurred hours of my life.

To this day, she still blames the burger prior to the House of Blues, I blame the Sambuca.  She knows some of my tale regarding degeneracy from that day, but has no idea how bad it almost was or at least she has never really asked.

We did marry a couple of days later, Limo, flowers, beautiful chapel and music she pulled off quite a day, but looking back I think she remembers the hangover as much as the wedding.  Perfect.

What a story!

Your missus deserves an entry in the advent calendar, both for the awesome surprise planning of the wedding without your knowledge and then the total DEGEN behaviour which caused it to go up in flames, initially!

Legendary, IMO!

Do tell more. Was rohypnol involved? Some cunning subterfuge or other?

[Rod Paradise]

Huge respect for Steel Panther the night before the (planned) wedding. Any woman willing to go see them with her man is worth marrying!!!

[booder]

What a story!

Your missus deserves an entry in the advent calendar, both for the awesome surprise planning of the wedding without your knowledge and then the total DEGEN behaviour which caused it to go up in flames, initially!

Legendary, IMO!

Confirmed Legendary couple.

[The Baron]

When my wedding day arrived it was a huge surprise to me and I knew nothing of its planning, it was “very us” and I wouldn’t change it for anything (well maybe aside from the 2 day delay due to general drunkenness of the then wife to be, long story . . . ).  

Do tell more. Was rohypnol involved? Some cunning subterfuge or other?

No Rohypnol, all coma’s were self-induced.

I don’t have the descriptive powers of Red_Dog or Mantis but the short of it is . . . After 14 years of living in sin (blissfully) we were lucky enough to accompany two friends for a 30th birthday celebration, in Vegas. 
After booking in to the Nugget we headed to the strip and Cabo-Wabo to meet friends and discuss the action plan for the first few days of the holiday.  I thought nothing of getting that front table on the patio at Cabo we were overlooking the Bellagio fountains, sun was going down, it was perfect, and as it turned out had all been arranged for my benefit, I hadn’t even noticed the attentive service let alone the good table.

After the meal Caz gave out envelopes, I will never be able to describe my level of surprise at seeing an invite to my own wedding.  I had not slept for about 36 hours had been pissed twice in that time and it all took a while to sink in.  The girl who struggled to log onto Yahoo mail, run a facebook account and who I hadn’t known to phone anyone in 15 years had arranged a wedding from the other side of the world.

The reality of marrying in Vegas is you have to have a licence and both people need to consent – so the next day we went and collected our licence the wedding was booked for Saturday morning, it all seemed real now.  The wedding would be followed by a wedding breakfast at Cut and on stage seats at Matt Goss – which she had arranged through Matt’s agent whom she had met on a previous visit to Vegas – and then 2 nights at the Venitian in some honeymoon suite - it was all crazy.

When she explained that Friday night we would spend together at The House of Blues watching Steel Panther alarms should have rung in my head.  Let’s just say my wife to be has a history of lack of self-control the day before certain events, but I was still in shock and too excited to question the sensibility of any of it, it all seemed crazy.

Wedding eve rolled around and we went to some Burger joint and in true Man vs Food style we made gluterness asses of ourselves before heading over to House of Blues and before you could consume two 16oz Millers the Sambuca was flying – I abstained.  I began to watch my wedding day slip away before my eyes, at this stage she was in drunken denial “all was fine”.  For the second time in her life an American onlooker called her the “drunkest person in Vegas” not bad for someone that “does not drink” - I still went to bed expecting to get wed in the morning – how blissfully naive.

When I was awoken at 6am to the sound of the prayers to the porcelain god I knew my wedding day would come and go, and I would remain single.  She did wait till about 10am to cancel the wedding and I didn’t take it well.  I headed for the strip, alone, with our complete roll in my pocket got smashed and spunked off hundreds and hundreds of bucks. 

When Caz phoned to tell me that although the tables for Matt Goss (she was more upset about this then the wedding) and at the restaurant were lost along with my Venitian Suite but the wedding chapel were very relaxed about re-arranging at no charge for later in the week I had a moment of clarity.   My lack of control was going to equal no wedding anyway, what I had done hit me like a hammer, a sobering hammer – so I did what any sane man would do, upped the stakes and chased.  I can’t remember the name of the machine that delivered that level 3 progressive jackpot, it was in the Luxor and I had been drinking Gentleman Jack like it was going out of fashion so my memory is hazy at best.  We actually went back to the Luxor later in the week and some of the bar staff called me Gentleman Jack for the evening so god knows what I had got upto.  I am not proud of those blurred hours of my life.

To this day, she still blames the burger prior to the House of Blues, I blame the Sambuca.  She knows some of my tale regarding degeneracy from that day, but has no idea how bad it almost was or at least she has never really asked.

We did marry a couple of days later, Limo, flowers, beautiful chapel and music she pulled off quite a day, but looking back I think she remembers the hangover as much as the wedding.  Perfect.

Abs incred. /thread. /forum.