ChipRich really is a god, came across these on the Internet. Fear this man.
SHREWDIE FACTSSome kids piss their name in the snow. Shrewdie can piss his name into concrete.
Shrewdie counted to infinity - twice.
Shrewdie's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Shrewdie
Shrewdie does not sleep. He waits.
Once, while having sex in his Dad's lorry, part of Shrewdie's sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Shrewdie doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Shrewdie once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
On a high school math test, Shrewdie put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Shrewdie solves all his problems with Violence.
Shrewdie CAN delete the Recycling Bin.
If you spell Shrewdie wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Shrewdie?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Shrewdie.
Shrewdie runs Windows Vista on his Etch-a-Sketch.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Shrewdie says its beef, then it's fucking beef.
Giraffes were created when Shrewdie uppercutted a horse.
Superman owns a pair of Shrewdie pajamas.
Shrewdie doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Shrewdie secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
Shrewdie can kill two stones with one bird.
[ ] Shrewdie knows how to spell pyjamas.
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