Anyone else struggling? Some sort of problem in Paddington last week apparently. Can't get on it at all today

This ain't a bleedin' democracy ya know! We make the rules, you follow'em, that's that. Like it or bleedin' lump it!

Sorry if that sounds a bit aggressive but me and the Marquis have been necking merrydown and special brew snakebites like there's no tomorra!

Yous all think the Marquis is funny when he's sober? Well you should see him after three pints of snakebite 'n black! Had me rolling around he did, right amusing bleeder.

Anyway, we've just got back from the Dog'n'duck and me missus is about to put the roast on the table. Only two spuds for me this week as I've bought the Marquis back.

Not sure I'm in her indoors's good books. Didn't tell her we was expecting royalty and she ain't got the proper cutlery out but what the 'ell! He'll win her round with his great one liners.

One Sunday it would be nice to have a bleedin' day off without having to come on here for some thing or other.
All I want on Sunday lunchtime is a nice quiet pint or three with me old mucker The Marquis Of Luton. He's had a right bleedin' week of it too, ended up in hospital with a bump on he's bleedin' noggin!
The reason I'm here today is because there's been a rule change made.
One of the elders said there's not much chance of Alex or Simon Galloway playing 30 times by the end of the year.
These boys are proper regs who don't not deserve to have their bleedin' scores not count.
So it's been decided to drop the minimum required to 20 for the year.
Change it in the rules will ya Chompy?
Thank yous all. Gawd bless the queen muvver.

I'm just getting ready for me Sunday lunchtime pint or three with me old mucker The Marquis Of Luton down the Dog'n'bleeding Duck but I dunno if I fancy a few beers after what I just seen.,.,.

Once a month I like to go pay me respects to the dear old Queen muvver at her resting place, gawd rest her soul, and then go visit me old mum, Sweaty Theresa's grave.,.,.,.

Walking down Enfield High Street minding me own business I was when I seen a league member necking an older woman outside the crematorium! I expect that sort of shite from young kids what show no respect but no from one of the league leaders.,.,.,

Please have a bleedin word with yourself son.,.,.

What the bleedin ell is going on here then?
This ain't some sort of social gathering place,.,.I comes here for me usual weekly update and it's all bleedin zoo trips, lost house keys and homosexual bleedin phone accessories.,.,.
I was saying to me old mucker Marquis Of Luton over a pint at the Dog'n'bleedin'duck on Enfield high street yesterday, same as what we does every weekend, that there's been a lot of people looking at the thread as guests, but that a lot of regs weren't here last week.,.,.,.
Just coz of GUKPT he reckoned. Don't bleedin worry Tel, I know forums and they'll be back he said.
Not with this pile of shite they bleedin won't. Sort it out yous lot.

What the bleeding ell is going on?

At the municipal we have a laugh at the end of each month, trying to work out what totals people will go for. And I tell you what, we never get anywhere near. Never. This Tikay youngster? Two? Two? Come off it sonny. Keep it sensible there's a good boy.,.,.,.,.

We had a quick meeting this morning about Edna's point cheating last night. It nearly came to a good ole punch up but then we saw some webcam stuff what that nice Kalam sent us this morning and we all agreed she deserved one extra point for keeping a straight face while George Michael sat there with his shades on. What a plonker,.,.,.,.,

As for that pillock R U Holding, I hear you find it funny that I'm still in charge of stuff at the age of 77? Well listen up kiddo, I'm 78 at the end of this week and carrying heavy buckets of water into the sauna still don't cause me no problems. Not like you're even in the league! And as for asking for staking. On 17 different threads? Pillock. That's what you are. A prize one at that.,.,.,.,.,

I'm afraid this forum jargon is lost on me. Duplicate accounts?

The elders, who are traditional and rather set in their ways, weren't sure about my opening an account, fearing it would somehow cheapen our organisation by letting leagueites believe they have a right of appeal, or the right to criticise.

It was NOT mooted, however, that the murmerings would come from within the brotherhood. From one of our very own.

Please stand by your fax Elder End, a 'simile is about to be despatched from the big man himself, Father Abraham.

Oi, Xpressman, NO!

This thread is for Luton business only. We at the Municipal don't want to read stuff about that other Gaff down the Edgware Road. We are here to promote all things Luton G and the fine job Kalam and others are doing at No.35 Park Street West.

I'm not afraid to hand out penalties for this kind of thing, not like Chiompy, Tightend or that other bloke that filled in for a day before exploding with rage after he couldn't sort out the spreadsheet.

Anyway, back to business.

An extraordinary general meeting was called for 10am this morning, with just one item on the agenda:

1) Chiompy has finally stopped crying like Matt Affleck at The Rio, is ready to stop being gay and end his sabbatical.

Not much was said. Elder End was congratulated for his efforts and asked to carry on with Fantasy League duties if he so wished. He agreed.

After a brief show of hands, the motion to re-instate Chiompy to elder status and back at the helm of the league was carried, almost unanimously, by a total of 11 to one, the sole objector being honourary elder peer, the Marquis Of Luton.

By the way, I am member number 11,000. Do I win a prize or something?