Greatest news stories?

The Bible
The Quran
The Tanakh

Or are we not including works of fiction?

In my lifetime my top 3 would be -

9/11
The death of Diana
The SAS ending the Iranian Embassy siege  

All of those kept me rivetted to the TV for hours

Ah an aches and pains thread, I've found my spiritual home.

I turned 60 in December and can confirm that from 50 onwards is all downhill so far. I try and stay active with tennis but physically everything is getting harder (or not, make up your own joke....)
Bruised toenails are an occupational hazard for tennis players, sometimes resulting in lost nails, not a pretty sight. My other half however outdid me last week when she dropped a post rammer onto her big toe, very nasty and her mood wasn't helped when I pointed out that post rammers aren't meant to be dropped on ones toes.
Medications? just an inhaler to control very mild asthma which I've had all my life but both my father and brother died of COPD so it's a concern.
Supplements? Loads - Glucosamine, cod liver oil, turmeric & black pepper, as well as a multibiotic and a multivitamin, both of which have too many ingredients to list here.
I have vowed to try and get fitter when I retire as sitting at a desk for hours a day isn't good for posture, health etc. Fingers crossed for that retirement.

I've always wondered how Trump was so good at golf, he's using your eclectic scoring, oh that and just plain cheating.

I'm going to take up golf again when I retire, after a sabbatical of nearly 40 years (barring one Top Golf adventure in Vegas, but that doesn't count, surely?)

I'm aiming to turn pro within 12 months using this method.

Ooh! I always fancied doing the rally driving thing, but I have to settle for 3 points and £100 fine for doing 34 in a 30 zone. 

Do let us know how it goes.

Why Enut BTW? I'm guessing it's not because you go crackers when you take  methylenedioxymethamphetamine tablets....

The rally driving was great fun, although totally alien to me. I was taught by my father who was a class 1 police driver for many years and it was instilled in me to keep the car under control at all times, the rally driving was the opposite. The car (a rally prepped GT86) was rarely under complete control, certainly when I was driving it, and there was less grip than on the worst of public B roads, in the wet, with mud on them, and leaves, and gravel, and pot holes etc etc. Two 20 minute sessions on mud/gravel/tarmac stages with an instructor trying to get the best out of each student, the right lines (tougher to hit an apex if the car is sliding all the way through the corner), handbrake turns and learning to control understeer, oversteer, drifting and the correct application of power etc etc. Great fun but I was physically drained after 40 minutes. As a quite experienced road driver I felt way out of my depth but I was getting the hang of it by the time we finished. I might well give it a longer go when I have time, they do 1/2 day and full day courses and I'd hope that I would get the hang of it much better with a bit more time.  

Points wise I've only ever had 3 points, for 70 in a 60 at 11 pm with very little traffic about (nabbed by a police car following me). I did however get a 7 day ban for doing 61 in a 30 once. In my defence the road had always been a 30 and I was overtaking a slower car when I saw flouro jackets in the distance, I actually sped up to make sure I could complete the overtake before I got to any incident, turns out they were police officers with a speed gun! 'What speed were you doing young man?' 'About 60', 'What's the speed limit?' '60' , 'no, it's 30' ''no, the 30 starts here, where you're standing', 'No it doesn't, we moved it up to the roundabout a month ago' 'oh, s**t!' I went to court, was advised to plead not guilty by my father (a now retired traffic copper), as there was no reason to change the road from a 60 to a 30. Duty solicitor put me right and said I couldn't plead not guilty as I was guilty, I could only plead mitigating circumstances. Magistrate gave me a week ban 'treat it as a holiday' he said, I very nearly got myself in contempt for telling him what I thought of that comment but bit my lip. The usher told me afterwards that they couldn't let me off as they had done 70 people for speeding on that piece of road in the last month and if they let me off they would have to let all the others off! As you can tell, I'm still bitter

Oh and Enut? It's just my surname backwards, nothing more sinister.

I'm enjoying these posts. It's good to see Phil's jokes making an appearance. Sad to hear about the squirrels, I'd assumed that some of the dead squirrels on the road were the result of a fall, it now seems they may have survived the fall but then, just as they were picking themselves up and dusting themselves off, Mildred in her Renault Scenic squished them.

I'm off to do a rally driving thing at Brands Hatch today, who knows I could be the next Colin McRae, somehow I doubt it.

Damn, I woke up this morning and couldn't stop thinking about how much I needed an anti yellow clear case to keep my phone looking visually appealing. Imagine my sheer delight when there was a post on here seemingly offering exactly what I was after, what are the odds? Sadly, Tikay has banned the poster so my phone will have to stay encased in its dull black covering, I don't know how I will cope with the disappointment. Thanks Tikay.

Sorry to hear about your old girl passing.

I'm efinitely not in the egg sucking education business here Mr Nut, especially if you've been rescuing dogs for years, but I'm hugely interested in how you get on with a young, lead reactive, male GSD. Please keep us updated.

A couple of questions if l may.

How old is he, and do you know anything about his life before he came to you?

He's about 3, we were told, although his teeth and general demeanour seems to suggest that he's younger than that. We have no idea about his previous life unfortunately. My other half wants him to settle in here for a few months before she starts to try and train him seriously but he is definitely improving on lead and his recall is getting better although it's non existent if there's something else really exciting, like someone going down the track next to our land - then it's all bets off. The woodland tracks and lane around us mean that when you interact with other dogs it's generally head on and in a confined space so that's problematic, he's just way too over the top. I didn't see it but apparently he was running up and down chasing a dog the other side of the fence today and the other dog was play bowing and interacting with him, suggesting that his chasing and barking isn't threatening behaviour but more likely excitement and exuberance. Other dogs are generally a far better judge of dog behaviour than we are.

Ironically my retirement deal fell out of bed yesterday, it turns out the company I was selling to had kept things from me (essentially that they were also selling out and would no longer offer independent financial advice). To say I am angry would be a huge understatement, I have been jumping through hoops for the last 6 months and all the time they knew they were going to sell and simply wanted to include my client base in the deal. I will lose a lot of money but it's no longer in the best interests of my clients so it looks like I'm carrying on for the time being.

You are so right about the stages of life, at this rate it feels like I am going to go straight from working life to the final chapter.

The animals at Chez Enut are fine. We have rescued German Shepherd dogs for decades and sadly the best one we have ever had died a few months ago, she was an absolute character, highly intelligent and absolutely bullet proof, a complete softy. I miss her terribly. My other half has immediately replaced her with a young male GSD who is a real handful (OK with people but lead reactive with other dogs), so he is a work in progress. Still have one other GSD, a couple of horses, 4 cats, a few ducks and a visiting heron.

Give my regards to Paul Jackson next time you see him he beats you at golf.

Sad & bad news about the Business. Hope you get something sorted.

Love to hear about your animals, & it seems you understand & have an affinity with dogs. FWIW, Tom, aka Red-Dog is something of a "dog (& horse) whisperer" too.

PS - Herons are close to being my favourite bird, but a lot of folk dislike them as they steal their "pet" fish. I often spot a Heron when golfing, & it makes my day.
 

I'm going to take a while to think about the business. I'm considering taking on a PA or paraplanner as that would take the pressure off me (I do everything atm) and maybe let me work 3 days a week instead of retiring fully, we'll see. I do know from the last few months that most firms buying retiring IFA businesses are just out for what they can make out it (I genuinely thought that the firm I had picked were diffferent....but they've shown themselves to be even worse than the others.)

We probably know a  bit more about dogs than most but we're certainly not experts, we do have a few acres though so he can run around like an idiot off the lead without bothering other dogs until we get him sorted out. I think it's just excitement and probably just needs him off lead (or on a long lead) but muzzled so we can actually see what he's like without others worrying that he's going to do damage to their dogs.

Heron's are great and luckily we have enough small fish that he can take a few when he wants to. The bigger fish are too big for him.

Enuff of the Enut bashing ya big bullies. I'm a very sensitive soul, as you know Phil.

It is very rare to see someone with a worse service toss than me but she manages it.
I agree, someone dropped the ball letting her in and depriving someone else of a place.

Ironically my retirement deal fell out of bed yesterday, it turns out the company I was selling to had kept things from me (essentially that they were also selling out and would no longer offer independent financial advice). To say I am angry would be a huge understatement, I have been jumping through hoops for the last 6 months and all the time they knew they were going to sell and simply wanted to include my client base in the deal. I will lose a lot of money but it's no longer in the best interests of my clients so it looks like I'm carrying on for the time being.

You are so right about the stages of life, at this rate it feels like I am going to go straight from working life to the final chapter.

The animals at Chez Enut are fine. We have rescued German Shepherd dogs for decades and sadly the best one we have ever had died a few months ago, she was an absolute character, highly intelligent and absolutely bullet proof, a complete softy. I miss her terribly. My other half has immediately replaced her with a young male GSD who is a real handful (OK with people but lead reactive with other dogs), so he is a work in progress. Still have one other GSD, a couple of horses, 4 cats, a few ducks and a visiting heron.

Give my regards to Paul Jackson next time you see him he beats you at golf.

Hi Tikay

All good here, sadly not in contact with hardly anyone from Next Door, although I am FB friends with Tom (Tomgoodun) and Paul Jackson (Jac35? You know 'not the poker player', is he still beating you at golf?) I very occasionally pop into the Discord group (I think you're in there too) just to keep an eye on things although there's not a lot of chat about £3 - £5 PLO8 DYMs and MTTs. I really miss the table banter I have to say, it's not the same just being able to post a 'nice hand' or 'you're a pro'.

I played tennis yesterday evening, outdoors, minus 1 feeling like minus 5 apparently, I know I didn't get warm enough to move. They asked if I wanted to play again this evening, thankfully we are out to the theatre, it should be warmer there. I even played a 1st team match the other weekend, I am now 60 so it's a sad reflection of the youth of today that we couldn't get 4 younger, fitter, better players out. We lost obv.

It sounds like you have it all sorted at the moment, I enjoy reading about your ventures, please keep us updated.

I am very, very nearly retired. Contracts being drawn up and hope to be out in a few months after the hand over. I will certainly miss my clients but won't miss the BS and paperwork. I hope I enjoy retirement as much as you do.

It took you 6 hours to ban him Tikay. Please enlighten us as to what you were doing between 4.40 am and 10.40 am as you were obviously slacking.

p.s. Happy New Year.

To be honest if they stopped online gambling completely I think it would be a good thing overall, yes I enjoy my poker but I'd give that up in a minute if it resulted in less people getting dragged into the pitfalls of bingo. slots, blackjack etc. Of course as a Government they don't want that, they just want a bigger tax take from it.

Interesting topic Phil, I also wonder what effect these delays are having on the crime figures, of course there wouldn't be any crime at all if they shut all the courts would there? Now that's an idea.