Uh oh. That's it, I've got myself started now. Apologies in advance (you can blame tight-lines for the inspiration
).
So this is the situation I am in now. I am working in a place I don't just hate, going there has made me ill. I am fine when I’m not there, but I breakdown uncontrollably as soon as I set foot in the place. I can’t go in to too much detail on here as a lot of people know where I work, and if I was seen to be publically slating the place it could cost me my job.
To any ‘normal’ person the answer would be obvious – leave that job, find a new one. In theory, yes, sounds easy. In reality, not so easy. As I said before, I’ve been working at the place since I was 19. I joined as a secretary and worked my way up, gaining three promotions during my time there. The job itself is not particularly challenging, and it’s well paid (changing jobs without any experience doing anything else will inevitably mean a considerable pay cut – I think it’s obvious from this thread why that just isn’t an option for me at the moment.)
A few weeks ago I sat and evaluated things and decided that I’d love to do something workwise related to poker. It seems to make sense – here’s an area where I feel confident and happy. If I could tie that in with my work and use it to pay the bills, happy days. Very simplistic – far too much so obviously. I stuck a post up on the forum asking for advice about getting into the industry – I offered to work for free for anyone who had anything available to give me something to stick on my CV. Apart from a bit of data inputting here on blonde, nothing came up. I took that as a knock. I thought ‘how can i ever expect to get a paid job in this industry if people don’t even want me for free’. I pulled myself back together and realised the opportunities out there are few and far between, if I want to do something poker-related I need to find a gap in the market and exploit it. Problem 1 – I have zero creativity or imagination. Problem 2 – I have zero business nous. OK, so that’s out of the window too now. See how easily I give up? What would I advise someone else in my position to do? Approach companies directly, tell them what you can bring to them, tout yourself. Don’t ask, don’t get. May not get anyway, but at least you’ve tried. There comes the next problem, I can’t sell myself – I just can’t. At a job interview with two candidates left I may well be the best person for the job, but I’ll say I’m ‘ok’ at this or ‘average’ at that whereas the next bloke will say he’s ‘excellent’ and ‘unbeatable’. Of course he gets the job. I have an idea what my ideal job would be. A teeny tiny weeny part of me actually thinks I’d be good at it too. I’m not going to share that here as you’d all just laugh at me for having my head in the clouds.
The job situation clearly needs sorting at some point though, and I’m hoping the CBT might help me with that.
So back to the poker, a couple of days after making my decision I’m not feeling too bad about it. I have yet to be tested though – not playing for a few days is nothing new, and as my daughter is with me for the new two weeks I wouldn’t have been going out to play anyway. I’m going to stick to playing live once a month, so that’s apat for August and blonde bash for September. I get paid next week and I’m going to allow myself £50 to stick online and see if I can spin it up playing $5 sngs. If I lose it, so be it – it’s a lot less than I have been spending on poker of late and it’s a loss I can afford.
Hello Claire,
I've read this thread with my jaw to the floor in parts. I'm sure that, in one way or another, your story resonates with everyone who posts on here. I currently find myself in a similarly interesting (if not entirely similar) situation - which, as a lurker who knows the bare minimum of people on here, I shan't divulge publicly - however, I'm sure I can be of some assistance. I have both industry experience and, er, 'non-poker-related difficulties', so please feel free to PM me if you'd like some advice on either of them.
If not, then I simply wish you the very best in you endeavours and will sign off by thoroughly recommending the $8 20-pays-5 SNGs on Pacific, as a bit of Zen-like patience and one double up will see you in the money.
Stokes
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