Plumbing question.

[The_nun]

This is a crap thread.

[RED-DOG]

This is a crap thread.

Ooh! A girl. This could put a different slant on things.

[The_nun]

This is a crap thread.

Ooh! A girl. This could put a different slant on things.

Yes I will help out here.

To report it exactly as it happens I have recorded it for you. Just unloading to Youtube.
















Behave.


Both for me if that helps in your research but totally befuddled as to why you have thought about this.

[RED-DOG]

Pre new year's eve 1999 I used to get out of bed, light a fag and take a dump. Now, since stopping smoking I'm not quite so predictable. I'm still a morning kind of guy, but it can be anything up to 11am before I'm ready to chop some butt wood.

A few weeks ago I was down Fosse Meadows with the dogs when I realised that I needed to go. Now I don't know if this is the same for everyone because it's not the kind of thing you usually chat to people about but very occasionally, when I need to go, I really need to go. Pronto! This was one of those times, within a couple of minutes I'd gone from a gentle stirring to a full blown brown alert.

Usually in this situation I would have just made a contribution to nature and used God's toilet but as it happened I was in a fairly busy part of Fosse Meadows. It would have taken me about 5 minutes to reach a more secluded spot and I was only about 8 minutes from home so I chose the latter.

That was a mistake.

By the time I got to within 300yds of safety I was in real trouble. With my butt cheeks clamped together like a vice I could only move my legs about six inches at a time. I still managed to do around 25mph but it created a dangerous amount of friction and I got some very strange looks from passers by.

Finally I reached sanctuary. Whipping my pants down, assuming the position and blessed relief all seemed to happen in the same millisecond. Until I examined the inside of my keks afterwards I wasn't sure I'd managed to do it all in the correct order. It must have been really something. I'd love to see it frame by frame in super slow motion.

Anyway, when I'd finished pony and trapping I adjusted my apparel and washed my hands. That was when I realised I wanted a tiddle.

I did a proper one too, about a pint or so and it got me to wondering. I couldn't remember ever doing a number two without doing a number one before, so for the next few days I took note, but poop was always accompanied by pee and eventually I forgot about it.

Then it happened again. One morning I did the business, got the paperwork finished and then realise that I would have to put in a little overtime. I'd done a number two, but still needed a separate number one.

I wondered if it was just me that was different. I mean, I've never actually watched someone else do it. (Well not that closely anyway)

I though about animals. They are usually separate poop and pissers. Dogs for instance assume entirely different positions depending on which function they are going to perform.

Then I thought about the actual mechanics of the thing. I'm no expert on anatomy but I had always assumed that when we have a number one we open a sort of stop cock (No pun intended) that once opened, just flows until we close it or until the reservoir is empty. The number two mechanism on the other hand I imagine as working on the same principle as a grease-gun. When you apply enough pressure to the chamber grease is forced down the tube and past the valve on the end.

Since starting this thread I've been experimenting. I don't know if full control is achievable or even desirable, but it's amazing what our bodies are capable of. Did you know for instance that when they are fighting, ninjas can draw their testicles back up inside their body to keep them out of harms way?

My results so far have been a bit hit and miss, but I've always seem myself as a being a bit talented in the underpant department. You know the sort of thing, lighting farts, peeing highest up the wall etc, so I've decided it's worth persevering.

I hope one or two of you will join me.
 

[celtic]

Blonde used to be such a nice place.

[booder]

Pre new year's eve 1999 I used to get out of bed, light a fag and take a dump. Now, since stopping smoking I'm not quite so predictable. I'm still a morning kind of guy, but it can be anything up to 11am before I'm ready to chop some butt wood.

A few weeks ago I was down Fosse Meadows with the dogs when I realised that I needed to go. Now I don't know if this is the same for everyone because it's not the kind of thing you usually chat to people about but very occasionally, when I need to go, I really need to go. Pronto! This was one of those times, within a couple of minutes I'd gone from a gentle stirring to a full blown brown alert.

Usually in this situation I would have just made a contribution to nature and used God's toilet but as it happened I was in a fairly busy part of Fosse Meadows. It would have taken me about 5 minutes to reach a more secluded spot and I was only about 8 minutes from home so I chose the latter.

That was a mistake.

By the time I got to within 300yds of safety I was in real trouble. With my butt cheeks clamped together like a vice I could only move my legs about six inches at a time. I still managed to do around 25mph but it created a dangerous amount of friction and I got some very strange looks from passers by.

Finally I reached sanctuary. Whipping my pants down, assuming the position and blessed relief all seemed to happen in the same millisecond. Until I examined the inside of my keks afterwards I wasn't sure I'd managed to do it all in the correct order. It must have been really something. I'd love to see it frame by frame in super slow motion.

Anyway, when I'd finished pony and trapping I adjusted my apparel and washed my hands. That was when I realised I wanted a tiddle.

I did a proper one too, about a pint or so and it got me to wondering. I couldn't remember ever doing a number two without doing a number one before, so for the next few days I took note, but poop was always accompanied by pee and eventually I forgot about it.

Then it happened again. One morning I did the business, got the paperwork finished and then realise that I would have to put in a little overtime. I'd done a number two, but still needed a separate number one.

I wondered if it was just me that was different. I mean, I've never actually watched someone else do it. (Well not that closely anyway)

I though about animals. They are usually separate poop and pissers. Dogs for instance assume entirely different positions depending on which function they are going to perform.

Then I thought about the actual mechanics of the thing. I'm no expert on anatomy but I had always assumed that when we have a number one we open a sort of stop cock (No pun intended) that once opened, just flows until we close it or until the reservoir is empty. The number two mechanism on the other hand I imagine as working on the same principle as a grease-gun. When you apply enough pressure to the chamber grease is forced down the tube and past the valve on the end.

Since starting this thread I've been experimenting. I don't know if full control is achievable or even desirable, but it's amazing what our bodies are capable of. Did you know for instance that when they are fighting, ninjas can draw their testicles back up inside their body to keep them out of harms way?

My results so far have been a bit hit and miss, but I've always seem myself as a being a bit talented in the underpant department. You know the sort of thing, lighting farts, peeing highest up the wall etc, so I've decided it's worth persevering.

I hope one or two of you will join me.
 

I suffer from the same ailments Tom , i assumed it was an age thing.

[Nakor]

Sphincters.

I am not going to do a long drawn out post about the internal and external Sphincter but they are what you are enquiring about here.
Look up Poopreport.com Dr Adams website, you should find all the answers you need there.

Men and Women will "perform" differently in this arena as the pelvis plays a big part in the control and disposal of waste and the female pelvis is very different to the male so the ladies are plumbed differently as it were.

[RED-DOG]

Sphincters.

I am not going to do a long drawn out post about the internal and external Sphincter but they are what you are enquiring about here.
Look up Poopreport.com Dr Adams website, you should find all the answers you need there.

Men and Women will "perform" differently in this arena as the pelvis plays a big part in the control and disposal of waste and the female pelvis is very different to the male so the ladies are plumbed differently as it were.

Yes. Apparently we have dozens of sphincters, but some must work differently than others. For example, when you open the number one sphincter it remains open until the job is done, whereas the number two sphincter requires constant effort.

[Nakor]

Sphincters.

I am not going to do a long drawn out post about the internal and external Sphincter but they are what you are enquiring about here.
Look up Poopreport.com Dr Adams website, you should find all the answers you need there.

Men and Women will "perform" differently in this arena as the pelvis plays a big part in the control and disposal of waste and the female pelvis is very different to the male so the ladies are plumbed differently as it were.

Yes. Apparently we have dozens of sphincters, but some must work differently than others. For example, when you open the number one sphincter it remains open until the job is done, whereas the number two sphincter requires constant effort.

Voluntary and Involuntary are the technical terms you describe.
Some people have amazing sphincter control learnt over years - Sticky Vicky of Benidorm fame might be an interesting point of reference for you